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week 73 – treat every as individual and with respect! Surely it’s obvious?

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message, weekly update

Disability and inclusion are massively important and huge drivers for me. Though it never fails to astound me at the lack of support and understanding shown by some.

When we came to this sport as a family we were worried about how epilepsy would be viewed and we were surprised at the incredibly warm welcome we received. The support he and we, as a family received helped Jack settle quickly and thrive in the sport he loved.

We did see examples in other places of archers not receiving the support that we had and it was important to me that this was clearly an area that needed work. It was the main reason myself and Jack became ambassadors for AGB, explaining that inclusion and diversity were my reasoning and the areas that I wanted to focus on. Ensuring that those who want to try our sport receive a warm welcome with necessary adaptations but also supporting those within it who need to adapt and change to stay.

The key part to anyone in this sport is being treated as an individual, no two people are the same, and we need to be treated accordingly.

I see amazing examples of exactly this, and I try to ensure that coaches who I work with do exactly this. It is why I signed up to the Children’s Coaching Collaborative last year and signed my pledge at the launch of the Play their Way campaign.

At the weekend I was thanked for how I spent time patiently introducing a young person to archery, he was non verbal and instructions needed to be adapted, we had a great time and we shot lots of arrows. Communication should be adapted for everyone, non verbal does not mean lack of understanding or that the person can’t communicate in other ways.

I also spent time in another setting with a wheelchair archer who has some issues with confidence following comments made by other archers suggesting that she has been shooting inaccurately and that she should have known this, unsure how if no one ever explained it? But that the wording and implications were suggestive that being physically disabled is linked to issues with understanding instructions.

Why people cannot be careful with words is something I have never understood and that so many do not understand the damage words and tone can do is beyond me! I also don’t understand why a person who says something damaging never realises and therefore take responsibility, apologise and fix the matter.

Everyone deserves the right to be treated with respect and as an individual, disability brings a variety of challenges that can create boundaries and challenges without the additional burden of having to worry about how coaches or other people may speak to them.

Be kind, it doesn’t take a lot of effort surely.

3 weeks since I did a mid week blog, sorry 🙃

Helen Sharpe Event recap, Quick catch up

Sorry for the gap in mid week blogs, lots of things have been going on.

So it’s been busy, busy, busy. A lot has been planned for 2024 and I am looking forward to all of it and I will share more about each session/group/collaboration as the plans become settled. Particularly after the decisions of the coming week.

I have a lot of decisions to be made on a personal level but whatever these are, the things that I have committed to will go ahead and there have been a number of conversations about how to protect Integr8Archery CIC, I am very proud of everything that I have accomplished over the years for this sport and particularly since Integr8Archery began so this will continue, sitting down and reviewing this second year and looking at numbers and achievements has helped me put everything into perspective.

As well as a number of meetings, this week has seen me attend the Ann Craft Trust training in regards to safeguarding adults, which was a great session, anyone involved in safeguarding will know there’s a lot of efforts put into training for general safeguarding or for children but sessions specifically aimed at adults are rare. It was also a great way to learn more about the Ann Craft Trust, who I have spoken to a number of times in the last few months regarding some issues that I have been dealing with for over 3 years. Many thanks to Northamptonshire Sports to for putting the session on.

A third session in the #look closer programme being put on by the Children’s Society. There is always more to learn, even in regards to subjects ŵe may know about and I do find these are well put together sessions.

I was blown away to receive an email asking me to consider some volunteer posts that are hugely important in regards to disability sports and access, both would be a privilege but I need to consider what I want to do with archery and what will fit in with my future, I think it’s likely I can consider one of the roles.

After a very busy weekend of night shifts, I have had time to celebrate the hard work that has seen me be successful in a promotion in the day job and today I got to visit the amazing young people who I love spending time with at DISC. Always inspiring and gives me lots of motivation. Then a few hours with friends at Towcester Archers catching up with some great people.

Now for an early night as I have some meetings tomorrow and lots of planning to do. Take care and have a great week, thank you to those who share their successs, progresses and joys with me, and the photos I received this weekend of bobble hats following my post last week.

week 72 – measuring success can be so many things

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message, Health, weekly update

Some time ago whilst collaborating I had a discussion about how we measure success, it’s not all about medals and bling and we have to pay particular attention to the individual, their challenges, goals and achievements. I was asked to write something for the website that was being set up to explain as it was believed that for many, it is about ranking and bling.

For me it can be many things. My PTSD creates serious anxiety and agoraphobia, daily I have to build up the strength to step over the threshold to take me outside the house. Every day! It’s one of the reasons that I like routine and structure but also to be busy.

If we go back, before the world of shopping online for everything, the longest I stayed in the house and didn’t leave was almost 10 months. Luckily my GP at the time gave me the support I needed to learn techniques to help me. There are still days though when my head is busy with overthinking and I slip and the work to get me outside is huge.

This weekend I had plans, all in my calendar, get home from work Saturday morning, off to LBAC to drop off my bow and cams and shoot a little, over to AOR to shoot a Portsmouth scored round and get everything ready for Sunday – my first indoor competition of the 23/24 season.

However an email Friday pushed all my anxiety to the front, off to work I went, but Saturday, once home I didn’t want to leave, not a surprise and so began the battle. Eventually I did leave the house and took my bow and cams to LBAC, I deliberately didn’t take my other bow so no shooting. A catch up with friends helped my mood a little but the anxiety and the delays created meant no scored round. Sunday morning? Seriously struggled to leave the house, a million excuses to stay at home, safe. However Rose was going to this competition and there would be friends there, so I accepted the offer of a lift from Paul and dragged myself there. No expectations as I had failed to do the prep this week and I am still dealing with the decision over the future of my release aid.

My PB for a Portsmouth is 548 – scored several times, so close to that next elusive Portsmouth badge of 550! I had sat down Wednesday to consider a realistic expectation and a challenging goal. So I set up at Green Dragon Bowmen with 2 scores in mind – 450 and 500.

My boss buddy was welcoming and we had a friendly session chatting about the sport and our experiences. I saw friends I expected to see, made new ones and saw some friends I hadn’t seen for a while who I hadn’t expected to see. I enjoyed the session and was incredibly happy to finish with a score of 528, had I not had a miss with a shoulder spasm I would have been close to my PB! So much better than I had hoped for.

However, the other unexpected gains from the day were conversations, about disability and adaptations or considerations that can improve their experiences. People that I didn’t know asking about Integr8Archery and the work that I do because they have seen references to me on social media, lots of positive feedback based on people’s thoughts on the projects. So by the time we left my head space was significantly improved over the last couple of days and I had some thoughts about how to improve things in regards to my release.

Top off the day with news that I had managed gold, unexpected but welcome news and a raffle prize! Perfect end to a day that starting with me almost not leaving the house 😱 The medal isn’t the measure of my day, it’s the ability I had to follow my process despite having to keep coming down during the shot routine as I repeatedly lost sensation in my fingers. Careful and controlled process got me that score. I am lucky to have friends who support me and who help me answer questions and find solutions as I continue my journey to shoot for as long as I can ❤️🏹

Busy week ahead with planning meetings and some training but I will update on those at the weekend. Take care of yourselves 🤗

Week 71 – thank you everyone 😊

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message, weekly update

My memory feed shows that it was a year ago that I explained things needed to be fluid for a while as I needed to put family first. I was going to be spending frequent time with my dad and family as we prepared to loose him. I didn’t have a time frame but I would warn you when I would be unavailable and keep you informed so you knew when I would be slower at answering. You were all amazing and that has continued ever since. I have long term family commitments and I keep you informed – thank you for always paying attention.

To allow me to do everything I need to the day job allowed me to condense my every other weekend into 1 in every 4, this works fantastically for my family commitments but also has great benefits for me and the young people I work with. It means for 56 hours over 3 days I am pretty much not available for you all.

You have blown me away, you don’t make demands, the messages I get over those weekends are checking on me or letting me know about your achievements or silly photos from ranges – I don’t take it for granted that for the most part people know Integr8Archery CIC is me, no one else here to run it and you understand that the 25-30 hours a week I give are as a volunteer who has a demanding full time job, family commitments, my own archery and I do some occasional volunteering in other places.

So thank you, it’s not much but it’s all I can say. I am grateful for all of you and the support you give me.

The last few weeks have been tough, there’s so much going on for me that though recently tempted to explain in summary, I won’t at this time and thank you Ben for being my sounding board. Dealing with a significant safeguarding issue for over 3 years can be draining and hard at times not to scream publicly at the world but maybe we’ll get there eventually.

Issues at the club are close to resolved with repairs being completed so hopefully things will be back on track soon, I never understand what people gain from deliberately damaging or destroying things that belong to others and this is no different to any other example.

Event planning moving forward for lots of things in 2024 so I am going to be busy for a while 😜

Have a good week and see you soon, looking forward to shooting some arrows this weekend and happy to see some competitions starting to fill my indoor calendar ❤️🏹

Week 70 – what a week, officially shattered

Helen Sharpe weekly update

Well it’s been quite the week! I think the people who spoke with the NGB may have mis-judged the outcome because for those I support through what is happening which triggered my comment on my private, closed space have seen the threat to me a a rallying cry! I took a lot of calls over the weekend to discuss my next steps but also what they were prepared to do to support me and also what their next steps are in their battles for the truth. The next few weeks and months could be very interesting and I have some decisions to make myself.

Whilst all of that was going on I have continued with everything else because life doesn’t stop. Meetings, webinars and some conversations around some events. Plus a couple of reviews for exiting projects. All exciting and positive. I never cease to be amazed at Integr8Archery CIC is achieving and it’s most definitely something that I am incredibly proud of. Is it hard to sit on the outside alone? Absolutely! At the same time it means that whatever is being achieved is honest and focusing on the goals. I am proud to be achieving my not for profit community aims. Money takes away the focus on doing what I do for others and giving.

Excited that I have my new cams and can’t wait to get my bow back up and running and ready for 2024. This is my solid weekend where there’s no shooting as I literally am on house from 14:30 Friday to 22:30 Sunday, but definitely worth it for the time it gives me with family focus and how I get to commit to shooting for the following 3 weekends. Without a doubt my job is demanding and exhausting but I have never had something that feels less like I am dragging myself into work. Definitely made the right choice there.

November starts tomorrow so those who know me well know I will scatter awareness for Epilepsy awareness, a subject deeply important to me. It’s also when we have the annual reclaim the night event and as usual I will be attending as I believe it’s incredibly important and certainly something I experience the impact of on a daily basis. If you can join an event local to you I would definitely encourage it. Without a doubt one of the most moving things you can experience is the naming of the women killed in the last year with the end note of how many additional names there will be before the year ends.

Enjoy your week, stay safe in the forecasted storm and catch you on a range soon.

There is nothing more important than safeguarding!!

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message, Health

In all areas of my life I think safeguarding is the most important aspect. From parenting, to residential youth worker and in sports. Some times this can be big things, often it’s little things. Some times it’s reacting to huge issues others it’s supporting wellbeing and welfare. Some times an ear and a coffee, sign posting or contacting other agencies.

It’s an area that I have been actively involved in since I started working in the public sector 30 years ago. I undertake the mandatory training and renewals but I also do other additional training, things that I believe can teach me to be better for those who need me in any of the areas of my life.

Those closest to me know the biggest piece of work here is something I have been doing for over 3 years, it’s massive and involves a lot of people, it grows almost constantly, people being pointed towards me to add context to what I have, years and years of experiences and issues told to me. Some just do that, they want nothing more than to feel someone has listened when previously they believed no one has. Others need ongoing support and the most important part of this is ensuring that there is the right professional help and I am then just part of their team of support. Mental health professionals are key but my ears are there to help. Not just those who come to me to explain their story but their families who often feel they should have seen something that they missed, and now feel guilt.

I can understand this as I carry it too, I missed what was happening to my child whilst I was busy supporting others.

There are days this is so incredibly draining and I am left emotionally and mentally exhausted and I am grateful to another safeguarding officer who sits and let’s me debrief with them, but also others who support me, they don’t need me to share details but they know I give and give to support these people, to be the person who hasn’t walked away.

Why might others have turned away? It’s hard, the massive issue needs so much work from so many people to change what’s happening. That level of energy and fight is hard to carry every day. I have considered walking away more than once, but I am struck with the fact that if I do, I am another person who has let these people down and who else will fight?

I have sought advice from the right places, agencies etc and I am at my next step, I don’t have many left and the last big step is one I hope I do not have to take because I hope that it can be dealt with without me taking that step.

Imagine as a safeguarding officer declaring yourself as vulnerable, on 3 separate occasions in 18 months, and not receiving the support or care for your well-being but yet I am expected to reassure those who have come to me that the support is there to be found?

I have repeatedly advised that my PTSD, anxiety and my ability to seriously overthink any situation means that we have to try, where we can, to manage the available opportunities for me to reach out when information is dumped on me.

Yesterday was another example of how the repeated lack of attention to this can impact me on a massive scale. A situation I am not aware of seeing a letter emailed to me at the end of business on a Friday. I opened it with no idea of what I would find as I am waiting on contact from that very team regarding my latest communication on this massive issue I am dealing with. Yet when I opened it, it hit me like a brick wall, because it was something new that sent me spinning, that required a response, but that saw me have no ability to reach out with my questions.

I sent my response, I had to, in an attempt to stop that spiralling that I have repeatedly asked for support to prevent. Had I been able to reach out and ask a couple of questions I could have dealt with it smoothly and calmly, but that was denied me. So now I wait, with just the serious overthinking to keep me company for however long this will take.

Thank you to those who have stepped in and supported me in the last 20 hours, never do I take you for granted, but I am certainly stronger because I have you here. It’s also shown me that whilst I am vulnerable I am, most definitely, stronger than October 21-October 22.

Take care of yourselves please.

Week 69 – if a little late 🫣 please look after yourself 🤗

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message, weekly update

Sorry it’s late, I started work at 14:30 Monday and finished at 15:30 Tuesday, nothing unusual there but then I headed straight north to pick up mum and come home ready to take her to the airport Wednesday morning. We ended up spending most of Wednesday sat on the m25! But all worth it as I have had the news that mum has arrived safely in Australia to visit with my sister.

My question today is do you look after yourself as well as you look after your archery kit? I know I don’t and I suspect few people actually do. We appreciate that out kit needs care to ensure it performs to it’s fullest potential yet seem to expect ourselves to just get on, we ignore symptoms of physical illness and mental health issues, so I just wanted to ask you all to take a look at yourself and be truthful do you need to do something to get yourself in the best shape? If you do please take the time.

I think of dad daily but this last week or so he’s been especially in my mind as I think of how a year ago we were all preparing to gather and spend as much time as we could together as we knew it was going to be limited in time before we had to say goodbye, he knew he wasn’t well, he kept going back, he repeatedly stated he believed it was cancer (not an unusual worry with our family history), but the answers they gave were not unreasonable. However it took months to get the correct diagnosis and when he did it was too late. He tried to be here as long as he could but we only had 6 and a half months following his diagnosis.

We don’t hold grudges or blame anyone, but we do desperately want everyone to think about if they are well and do they need to check. I have mentioned it before and every now and then will remind you, if you aren’t well – you need to be. Dad’s story was published by the hospice and I shall share it again.

He loved to chat and hear how things were going with my “little business” and was always proud of the time I give to others, he is one of the reasons you get my blog updates, I can no longer share with him but I can continue to share with everyone else.

Look after yourself the same as you look after your kit! And for those who don’t look after their kit – sort that too 😜

What has happened this last week, planning mostly, a couple of webinars and some meetings. Exciting new collaborations on the horizon and some new groups looking to start work with me. Three coaches who have approached me to ask to do some work where I might need them and some volunteers who have asked if they can give time to Integr8Archery. Excellent 👌

See you all on a range sometime soon ❤️🏹

I guess I need to move indoors? Resistance appears to be futile! 😂🫣🤷‍♀️ Do your own comparisons is definitely my advice though 🤔🤨

Helen Sharpe Numbers and stats, Quick catch up

I have tried to resist moving indoors, I have never liked it, always cling to drag out the end of outdoors but ultimately have to admit defeat and recognise everyone has gone inside for the winter.

I haven’t shot an arrow for 20 days as I sat and contemplated what the latest changes mean for my shooting. Ultimately it’s just about trying to keep shooting and I am grateful that there are people who will work with me but the last couple of weeks seems like various bits of my body are suddenly being recognised as issues in a variety of areas of my life and it’s been hard to listen to some of the conversations.

So I drew a line and said today would be it, get inside and shoot a scored round.

Rougher than usual couple of days PTSD wise and I lay awake at 2 this morning churning a variety of things over. Nightmares and bad sleep have been part of my life since 1996 so I am not unused to this but, the last couple of years have seen some serious issues and some days it’s just blooming hard work.

Off I went, got the kit set up and there we have it, despite thinking about it, I forgot to pick up the indoor arrows so had to shoot today with the outdoor arrows 🫣 if I had gone home I likely wouldn’t have come back out 🤔

Outdoors I have an agent but some times, indoors, if I am feeling strong and the pain is low I will collect my own arrows. Great idea, as I discovered that the wrist brace prevents me from pulling my arrows properly and after 3 ends had to admit defeat and ask someone to pull them for me! Those who know me well will have an idea how well I took this discovery! Feels like another kick! Thank you to Pete for the help today.

I decided to stick with the release aid fastened to me, frankly the mind was in no mood to start with the wrist release today 😬 only two shoulder spasms – easily spotted on the scorecard by the miss and the 1! But as through the summer the shoulder just struggles for stability so scores were somewhat erratic, pretty much a continuation of the outdoor season 😞🤷‍♀️ expected but there’s always hope.

Part way through a change in the surrounding environment saw my anxiety spike and I considered stopping but really did want a score to lay down the start of indoors and yes I know there will be a host of opinion around continuing versus quitting. So completed and not great but it’s done and I have lots to think about.

So, outdoor season I had set a goal, started well with 4 PB’s and enough to earn me the Bowman 3rd class, not what I wanted but as most of the season I earned archer 3rd or 2nd class scores, it’s all I can claim.

It doesn’t matter what happened as I physically broke down, it’s disappointing. Particularly as I had worked hard in the previous 5 outdoor seasons, had achieved my hard fought 1st class in 2021 and then maintained it in 2022 despite being so mentally unwell. I spent the 2023 season constantly comparing the scores into the old classifications as the first year in the new system gave me no information.

The indoor season will be the same, scores put into the new system but I will use the old system for me to compare. Interestingly the indoor table shows comparable old v new but I am glad I used the tables from the old system as it gave me different information.

Today I shot a Stafford, I believe I have done one before but I have no record so it was clearly in the app that saw me loose all of my information. I scored 566.

In the new classifications this is an indoor archer 2 according to the archery calculator. The tables provided by AGB show an indoor archer 2 is the same as an old G.
However this is incorrect as 566 was an E! And interestingly another 11 points would have moved me to a D but the archery calculator shows no change!

So my advice? If you want to compare do it yourself 🤗 because today I got an E class score which is a long way from last years C classification I earned but it’s no G!

So, indoors I am, but I will do my own work as I go about changing to hopefully get me back outdoors next year.

Week 68 – apparently all about planning

Helen Sharpe weekly update

I was told I should quit my sport, taking part in it, sharing it, taking it to those who haven’t tried it. I didn’t, but I did quit on me instead. Luckily others didn’t.

I still wobble but I look back on this last 68 weeks and I am proud of what I have achieved. I can’t always achieve what I want, and some things are paused whilst I work on solutions. This week has shown me I might be close to a few answers 🤞🏻🤞🏻 it’s also been a week of planning for the future. Dates going in the calendar for 2024, training – some significant starting in the next couple of weeks, events, new groups, existing groups but it’s making the sunshine as the winter approaches and the temperatures drop. Exciting!

I need to pick up my bow, avoiding it and the changes isn’t helpful and I need to grasp that 🫣and get on with it. I have goals I am not going to get close to without shooting arrows. I have withdrawn from the last competition I had planned for outdoors though as I can’t see me getting what I need to hit the goal I set in March but what it’s shown me is how very much stronger I am mentally. I am disappointed but not devastated – I will take it.

First aid in emergency situations renewed today, interesting doing CPR with the hand that’s not working but I did it so that’s another positive!

Short but sweet, that’s it for this week, a couple of long days ahead so be patient please as I work towards getting to the weekend and answering whatever the week brings me. Have a good week folks ❤️🏹

Week 67 – busy making plans into 2024 but not forgetting important dates happening now ❤️🏹

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message, Health, News, weekly update

Lots of planning bubbling away for existing and new groups and I love sitting with people who don’t realise how adaptive our sport is and how easy it is to make it work in so many ways.

School groups are nicely back and settled and I am hearing lots of positive things so that’s all great stuff.

October is Black History Month and this year the focus is ‘Saluting Our Sisters’.

At the age of 13 my English teacher handed me a copy of I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou and I became absorbed in the book and the conversations and discussions we would have about what I was reading. I recall being amazed that whilst my teacher gave me this and we delved deep into it, at the time it was released many schools set out to ban it from their shelves. I thank my teacher for sharing the book and I have read all of her others and her poetry is one of several books that I often pick up to read when I have a window of time to loose myself and I have favourite quotes of hers that I scatter through things.

“If you’re always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” Maya Angelou

Today is also World Mental Health Day. I make no secret of my battles with mental health, I am grateful for the peace my sport can help me find, the calm, quiet time on the range is a blessing. Please do look after yourself you are important and if you need support ask for it. Mind is a great starting place and there are other organisations out there some I know better than others.

I have a rest day today and I have lots of things to do but I am going to take my coffee and my book and sit in nature for an hour, I deserve the time to breathe. Looking after yourself is not a luxury.

On Friday as I dashed about at the beginning of a long weekend of work with 56 hours on house I was made aware of .International Smile Day. Harvey Ball created the smiley face in 1963 but became concerned with the commercialisation of his symbol and created this day to remind us all that the smiley face knows no politics, no geography and no religion.  Harvey’s idea was that for at least one day each year, neither should we.  He declared that the first Friday in October each year would henceforth be World Smile Day® and the first was held in 1999. The idea is that a small act of kindness can make someone smile. If you know me you know that this is something I truly believe and try to achieve daily.

As many of you know October is breast cancer awareness month and wear it pink will be on 20th October. I am grateful for the care I received from the unit at Kettering General Hospital several years ago. Please take the time to check your health and remember men can and do also suffer from this.

The other subject I feel it’s important to highlight and you are aware I do is October is also used to highlight Domestic Violence an area that I have worked in for many many years and I enjoy the time I have been allowed to use Integr8Archery to show how sport can help with mental health, confidence and to allow new friendships to be formed in a safe and supportive environment by working with some amazing people in refuge.

Have a good week and stay well and safe 🥰