Sorry itās late, I started work at 14:30 Monday and finished at 15:30 Tuesday, nothing unusual there but then I headed straight north to pick up mum and come home ready to take her to the airport Wednesday morning. We ended up spending most of Wednesday sat on the m25! But all worth it as I have had the news that mum has arrived safely in Australia to visit with my sister.
My question today is do you look after yourself as well as you look after your archery kit? I know I donāt and I suspect few people actually do. We appreciate that out kit needs care to ensure it performs to itās fullest potential yet seem to expect ourselves to just get on, we ignore symptoms of physical illness and mental health issues, so I just wanted to ask you all to take a look at yourself and be truthful do you need to do something to get yourself in the best shape? If you do please take the time.
I think of dad daily but this last week or so heās been especially in my mind as I think of how a year ago we were all preparing to gather and spend as much time as we could together as we knew it was going to be limited in time before we had to say goodbye, he knew he wasnāt well, he kept going back, he repeatedly stated he believed it was cancer (not an unusual worry with our family history), but the answers they gave were not unreasonable. However it took months to get the correct diagnosis and when he did it was too late. He tried to be here as long as he could but we only had 6 and a half months following his diagnosis.
We donāt hold grudges or blame anyone, but we do desperately want everyone to think about if they are well and do they need to check. I have mentioned it before and every now and then will remind you, if you arenāt well – you need to be. Dadās story was published by the hospice and I shall share it again.
He loved to chat and hear how things were going with my ālittle businessā and was always proud of the time I give to others, he is one of the reasons you get my blog updates, I can no longer share with him but I can continue to share with everyone else.
Look after yourself the same as you look after your kit! And for those who donāt look after their kit – sort that too š
What has happened this last week, planning mostly, a couple of webinars and some meetings. Exciting new collaborations on the horizon and some new groups looking to start work with me. Three coaches who have approached me to ask to do some work where I might need them and some volunteers who have asked if they can give time to Integr8Archery. Excellent š
I have tried to resist moving indoors, I have never liked it, always cling to drag out the end of outdoors but ultimately have to admit defeat and recognise everyone has gone inside for the winter.
I havenāt shot an arrow for 20 days as I sat and contemplated what the latest changes mean for my shooting. Ultimately itās just about trying to keep shooting and I am grateful that there are people who will work with me but the last couple of weeks seems like various bits of my body are suddenly being recognised as issues in a variety of areas of my life and itās been hard to listen to some of the conversations.
So I drew a line and said today would be it, get inside and shoot a scored round.
Rougher than usual couple of days PTSD wise and I lay awake at 2 this morning churning a variety of things over. Nightmares and bad sleep have been part of my life since 1996 so I am not unused to this but, the last couple of years have seen some serious issues and some days itās just blooming hard work.
Off I went, got the kit set up and there we have it, despite thinking about it, I forgot to pick up the indoor arrows so had to shoot today with the outdoor arrows š«£ if I had gone home I likely wouldnāt have come back out š¤
Outdoors I have an agent but some times, indoors, if I am feeling strong and the pain is low I will collect my own arrows. Great idea, as I discovered that the wrist brace prevents me from pulling my arrows properly and after 3 ends had to admit defeat and ask someone to pull them for me! Those who know me well will have an idea how well I took this discovery! Feels like another kick! Thank you to Pete for the help today.
I decided to stick with the release aid fastened to me, frankly the mind was in no mood to start with the wrist release today š¬ only two shoulder spasms – easily spotted on the scorecard by the miss and the 1! But as through the summer the shoulder just struggles for stability so scores were somewhat erratic, pretty much a continuation of the outdoor season šš¤·āāļø expected but thereās always hope.
Part way through a change in the surrounding environment saw my anxiety spike and I considered stopping but really did want a score to lay down the start of indoors and yes I know there will be a host of opinion around continuing versus quitting. So completed and not great but itās done and I have lots to think about.
So, outdoor season I had set a goal, started well with 4 PBās and enough to earn me the Bowman 3rd class, not what I wanted but as most of the season I earned archer 3rd or 2nd class scores, itās all I can claim.
It doesnāt matter what happened as I physically broke down, itās disappointing. Particularly as I had worked hard in the previous 5 outdoor seasons, had achieved my hard fought 1st class in 2021 and then maintained it in 2022 despite being so mentally unwell. I spent the 2023 season constantly comparing the scores into the old classifications as the first year in the new system gave me no information.
The indoor season will be the same, scores put into the new system but I will use the old system for me to compare. Interestingly the indoor table shows comparable old v new but I am glad I used the tables from the old system as it gave me different information.
Today I shot a Stafford, I believe I have done one before but I have no record so it was clearly in the app that saw me loose all of my information. I scored 566.
In the new classifications this is an indoor archer 2 according to the archery calculator. The tables provided by AGB show an indoor archer 2 is the same as an old G. However this is incorrect as 566 was an E! And interestingly another 11 points would have moved me to a D but the archery calculator shows no change!
So my advice? If you want to compare do it yourself š¤ because today I got an E class score which is a long way from last years C classification I earned but itās no G!
So, indoors I am, but I will do my own work as I go about changing to hopefully get me back outdoors next year.
I was told I should quit my sport, taking part in it, sharing it, taking it to those who havenāt tried it. I didnāt, but I did quit on me instead. Luckily others didnāt.
I still wobble but I look back on this last 68 weeks and I am proud of what I have achieved. I canāt always achieve what I want, and some things are paused whilst I work on solutions. This week has shown me I might be close to a few answers š¤š»š¤š» itās also been a week of planning for the future. Dates going in the calendar for 2024, training – some significant starting in the next couple of weeks, events, new groups, existing groups but itās making the sunshine as the winter approaches and the temperatures drop. Exciting!
I need to pick up my bow, avoiding it and the changes isnāt helpful and I need to grasp that š«£and get on with it. I have goals I am not going to get close to without shooting arrows. I have withdrawn from the last competition I had planned for outdoors though as I canāt see me getting what I need to hit the goal I set in March but what itās shown me is how very much stronger I am mentally. I am disappointed but not devastated – I will take it.
First aid in emergency situations renewed today, interesting doing CPR with the hand thatās not working but I did it so thatās another positive!
Short but sweet, thatās it for this week, a couple of long days ahead so be patient please as I work towards getting to the weekend and answering whatever the week brings me. Have a good week folks ā¤ļøš¹
Lots of planning bubbling away for existing and new groups and I love sitting with people who donāt realise how adaptive our sport is and how easy it is to make it work in so many ways.
School groups are nicely back and settled and I am hearing lots of positive things so thatās all great stuff.
At the age of 13 my English teacher handed me a copy of I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou and I became absorbed in the book and the conversations and discussions we would have about what I was reading. I recall being amazed that whilst my teacher gave me this and we delved deep into it, at the time it was released many schools set out to ban it from their shelves. I thank my teacher for sharing the book and I have read all of her others and her poetry is one of several books that I often pick up to read when I have a window of time to loose myself and I have favourite quotes of hers that I scatter through things.
“If you’re always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.ā Maya Angelou
Today is also World Mental Health Day. I make no secret of my battles with mental health, I am grateful for the peace my sport can help me find, the calm, quiet time on the range is a blessing. Please do look after yourself you are important and if you need support ask for it. Mind is a great starting place and there are other organisations out there some I know better than others.
I have a rest day today and I have lots of things to do but I am going to take my coffee and my book and sit in nature for an hour, I deserve the time to breathe. Looking after yourself is not a luxury.
On Friday as I dashed about at the beginning of a long weekend of work with 56 hours on house I was made aware of .International Smile Day. Harvey Ball created the smiley face in 1963 but became concerned with the commercialisation of his symbol and created this day to remind us all that the smiley face knows no politics, no geography and no religion.Ā Harveyās idea was that for at least one day each year, neither should we.Ā He declared that theĀ first Friday in October each yearĀ would henceforth be World Smile DayĀ® and the first was held in 1999. The idea is that a small act of kindness can make someone smile. If you know me you know that this is something I truly believe and try to achieve daily.
As many of you know October is breast cancer awareness month and wear it pink will be on 20th October. I am grateful for the care I received from the unit at Kettering General Hospital several years ago. Please take the time to check your health and remember men can and do also suffer from this.
The other subject I feel itās important to highlight and you are aware I do is October is also used to highlight Domestic Violence an area that I have worked in for many many years and I enjoy the time I have been allowed to use Integr8Archery to show how sport can help with mental health, confidence and to allow new friendships to be formed in a safe and supportive environment by working with some amazing people in refuge.
The last few weeks there have been a number of enquiries and some of those who support me, or who do work with me have also had questions asked by people about Integr8Archery both the Community Interest Company and the archery club. So I thought as we are at the next quarter and I have been doing updates at intervals then it seems timing is good to answer at least some of those questions.
Along with that pre Integr8Archery rollouts were planned from 19th June 2022 to 4th October 2023 – today! Perfect timing then.
I had worked on my projects, then grew them as an ambassador for AGB, then collaborated with Aim4sport, working on their projects, mine and creating some together, in some cases threading them together. Information was out there about some of what was going to be launched after the closure of the shop and training centre. I have explained that I have little to no knowledge to answer questions outside of my work with Integr8Archery though I have tried to help where I can.
So where are things at that I know of?
Archery In Education –
This project currently sits at 18 secondary schools and 5 primary schools in Northamptonshire. Along with 2 schools in Norfolk, 1 in Lincoln, 3 in Yorkshire, 2 in Kent, 3 in the south and I am supporting coaches in a variety of areas who work in a total of 11 other educational settings. There are 5 settings I have drawn a line under who were part of my project but I cannot/will not work with the coaches in those settings.
Disability and Health
I thoroughly enjoy spending time with the DISC group hosted by Northamptonshire Carers and have a great time. The group being set up for existing archers with disabilities had some delays but is getting back on track and will be getting together soon. I have had a great time over the summer being invited to a number of groups who support people with disabilities showing just how adaptive archery is and I am excited about plans for some long term work on access around the areas of learning disabilities, wheelchair and mobility issues, physical disabilities and also visually impaired individuals.
Incusive and supportive
Integr8Archery has hosted another 3 groups of ladies who have found themselves in refuge and making amazing progress on changing their lives and regaining control and confidence. As with any individual or group I try to pair projects with the right coaches, we donāt all have the same strengths and thatās what make us great together. This is definitely a group that selection of coaches is key and I thank those who have been involved. Itās been an amazing experience to be allowed to work with these ladies.
I have worked with several groups around accessibility and inclusion of those with different cultural backgrounds and I am excited to see a couple of these grow into amazing ideas for sustainability.
I continue to work with 3 support groups for LQBTQIA+ young people. The idea I had developed around inclusive competition that became entwined with a bigger idea and I took to a working party and the NGB is something that I stepped away from after being attacked via social media that the idea I had joined with didnāt belong exclusively to the person who shared it with me. So I went back to my original smaller idea and we have had a few small local competitions based on inclusion and I have also worked with 3 senior archers looking at competitions and supporting them in their respective journeys.
There have been another 2 groups of foster children who have taken part in a number of sessions and have had a great time and I am currently working with a couple of different agencies and creating opportunities for children in care to be involved with our sport.
Safeguarding
My most important role I think, those that know me well know this. I constantly work to improve my learning and knowledge in an area that has impacted my paid employment for 30 years and my years of volunteering. Safeguarding is something I have done for years in my sport and I see well-being an important part of this role too.
A large portion of my time here is taken up with something that sees me having been dealing with 14 years worth of information from 42 archers and coaches and sees me continuing to support 9 people and their families on an ongoing basis but also new people come to me at intervals. Some days this fight can be overwhelming but though I have occasionally considered walking away from it, I canāt, changes need to be made so on we fight. I do need to thank Mario, Lynn, Ted and Martin though because I couldnāt fight if I didnāt have a support network for my own wellbeing.
A network in safeguarding is especially important and supporting other officers has always been an important part of what I do.
Charity and franchise
Having spent over two years working hard on contracts and legislation and seeing it all fall into place was amazing, we had it sorted. Creating the charity was something to be hugely proud of and I had a number of people who were ready to invest and donate when we were to launch in June 2022. Linking these two things with the education project was a fantastic project and had amazing potential so pulling it apart was upsetting. Keeping my education project and growing it has made me proud. Being allowed to help look at where those donations could go instead was a privilege and combined it was a huge amount of money, though some offered it to me for Integr8Archery I refused all offers out of this pot as it simply wouldnāt have sat well with me to take it. I do thank those who have sent me updates on the impact that money has had, itās great to see young people enjoying opportunities that have been given.
That positive energy and news has helped balance the ultimate decision I had to make to pass on some of the abuse I received to the police and that 2 of those people had charges made against them. What was to be an amazing project certainly beat me emotionally and mentally in the end. The decision to pull the education project out of it was the only thing I could do, the other elements were not mine to push forward without the collaboration.
America
The app and the coaching elements that I had worked on here were not mine to continue. However I was blown away to be asked to continue to consult with what had been my elements and I do enjoy the process of developing the community sports projects across the Atlantic, even if that means I am usually shattered and ready for bed when they are excited š again itās great to get updates and even a couple of little videos from some of the children who have been involved in the three cities involved. Itās not the right time at the moment for me to go over but itās lovely to have the open invitation to visit when I am ready. I have however had a couple of visits to Camden to chat with my friend whoās business opened those doors when I contacted him and been rewarded with a couple of my favourite sandwiches as thanks for what I am doing – Iāll take that as reward for giving my time.
Volunteering
The very many hours that I give to Integr8Archery all given as a volunteer. I also love giving my time to the other sports that I join occasionally, especially within the running community who are always a great crowd. I love the time I spend with the competitions team at Archery GB for national and international competitions and have been a little disappointed this year with how few I have managed to attend, Grand Prix, JNOC and I will be at the indoors in December but I think the changes we have agreed at work will help me balance paid employment, family commitments following the loss of dad and my own archery and let me attend more AGB volunteering next year.
I have also submitted an application to volunteer in something entirely different, I will keep you updated if this happens and I think it may surprise you to hear what it is!
Employment and my own learning
I love my job, 6 months in I can say itās fantastic and gives me a level of satisfaction and motivation that I havenāt properly had in paid work for many years. Exhausting, mentally and emotionally draining at times, of course, but I really do feel itās the right job for me. I donāt complain about my work, I may complain about frustrations that all of us who do the work have, it thatās very different. I am about to embark on a level 3 diploma for that job, along with restarting some courses I had paused due to my mental health and devoting time to dad so the next 12 months will be busy.
Collaborating?
I spend a lot of time in webinars, meetings, conferences with a number of groups, organisations and agencies looking at lots of areas that impact sports and how we can all work together towards common goals.
I am also enjoying working together with other Community Interest Companies and charities to bring access to sport to such a variety of groups and individuals – itās a privilege to be part of these.
CIC and Club
Simply, we will continue to enable people to try our sport, access it in whatever way they wish, stay in it if the feel change may prevent this. When the recent kit damage is repaired our little club will pick up and carry on with its plans too. If you wish to belong to our supportive community please contact us. You donāt have to leave your club to be part of us, everyone is welcome and itās lovely to get updates on how everyone is doing.
I am sat here feeling like I have forgotten something š«£ no doubt someone will point it out to me š
So whilst I wait for that I just want to say thank you to everyone who has supported me in any way or who has trusted me to help them. Never do I take any of this for granted and you, the people are always the priority š„°š¹
Week 65 meant a year and 3 months and I had so many things I wanted to say and I wanted to share with someone I couldnāt. 10 months now without my weekly chat with dad about Integr8Archery, plans, hopes, updates etc. He was always awesome in listening and talking and enjoying updates.
Sunday was awesome for seeing my shirts on the shooting line, and county championship medals worn with them ā¤ļøš¹
Also a great time to catch up with friends, some archers, some coaches, some friends made through the sport, lots and lots of hugs. As a child I was taught the importance and power of a hug and many people know I scatter them around. Lots of supportive hugs that are a celebration of what we have achieved in various battles and also of acknowledging the battles still to come.
People have asked again what the purpose is of Integr8Archery CIC, it is to help bring our amazing sport to people yet to try it, to support those in it who want to stay but are struggling in various ways, to ensure and promote the inclusion, diversity and equality whilst showing how incredibly adaptive it is, enabling access for everyone. This is why the club was set up, a separate entity but enabling a safe environment for those who need it. For some this is a temporary step, for others a supportive community to be a part of, shirts, hats – ways of identifying others who share that same understanding of giving and using the supportive community.
I am proud of everything that I achieved from starting my volunteer journey in this sport but especially so of what I have achieved since creating Integr8Archery.
So today thatās my message, thank you to the many people, some who I have named before and some often but especially the huge hugs on Sunday from Anita and Lisa and the coffee reload from Lisa was especially great š
Tomorrow there will be another blog drop, three in three days, yesterdayās was my update, today is my thank you for the community we have created under the brand I made and tomorrow a project update, to update what is happening, give some tastes of things to come but also to answer some of the questions I am being asked, particularly around the releases I made in spring 2022.
All 3 important updates and I think each deserving of separate attention.
In March I sat down and set my goals for the outdoor season.
Taking into account that 2018, 2019, 2020 I got a second class, 2021 finally my first and after an awful, torrid 2022 ground out another first. Knowing that where I had been in 2021 was gone for me, but the terror of 2022 was being dealt with and that mentally I had safe spaces I set those goals and looked forward to the summer.
One that would see me enjoy the whole week at Dunster and volunteer for AGB along with starting a new, amazing job.
Knowing that I hadnāt barely had an indoor season as I devoted my time to family and particularly dadās last weeks but had, in those few occasions I had picked up my bow achieved a C class – my best ever indoor classification. I signed up to AGBās #great arrow count and set off to see what summer would bring.
Well initially I achieved 4 personal bests in different rounds and 2 x bowman 3rd class scores – decent start I felt.
Then my shoulder started to grumble and over the next few weeks that grumbling got louder. The issue with my hands but especially my right hand, that I had been having for 6/7 years and had been gradually deteriorating suddenly, rapidly becoming a huge issue. So my shooting fell apart, no matter as I set about asking questions and looking for answers whilst carrying on, scores didnāt matter at all, smiling with a bow in my hand certainly did! Then of course we have those vocal folks who believe their opinion matters! That my scores are so appalling I have no right to be on the shooting line! Well huge raspberries to you and your opinions because your knowledge of me is zilch so you donāt have an opinion that I need!
So the great arrow count is done – 26 weeks and I have shot 15,669 arrows. Not as many as I planned. But 60% of my aim back in March. A combination of 19 scored rounds or competitions in target archery, approximately 2/3 of what I had intended. None of the 3 flight completions I had intended to attend. A combination of the new job, shifts, health and family commitments and the responsibilities I now have with dad gone impacting these aims.
Plans made with work and family to help me resolve the time issues and of course huge plans to work my backside off over indoors with bow, new release aid and pretty much a new way of shooting for me to continue to be on the shooting line and get ready for outdoors 2024.
Desperately disappointed in my classification but also happy to still be shooting at all. There has been a constant theme since I signed up to my beginners course in 2018 that I should not bother and I should quit. Thankfully I am possibly one of the most stubborn and bloody minded folks or I would certainly have quit on many occasions!
So I have one more outdoor competition in a few weeks and then indoors it will be to learn my new way forward! Planning ahead for what the possible surgeries might mean and two further steps in case the issues with my hand/arm/elbow deteriorate further and further again. Like me the county captain is a planner! š
I thoroughly enjoyed this weekend – scored round stood up on Saturday and shooting the county champs Sunday morning followed by agenting Sunday afternoon, all done with amazing company š„°
Thank you as ever to those who support me in continuing to hold my bow – forever grateful š¤
Blown away by the words of friendship from three different people in 3 different places this weekend – always strange to hear positive thoughts about me and how I am perceived by people who have opinions I value and they had made those thoughts public!
Lots going on this week but I am actually making my own archery important too for a change, big weekend coming up as I only have two outdoor competitions left and whilst I am pretty sure my goals set at the beginning of the season, though they started promising, are out of reach with the issues with my shoulder and hand, I shall await that final arrow to see for sure.
Planning my own indoor season and winter training with next summer in mind but also helping a couple of others with their plans, exciting. What will summer 2024 see us all achieve?
I was blown away Monday to receive messages from 3 different people who have at various times and for various reasons walked away from archery but have reached out to see if I can help them return. I definitely think itās possible for each of them.
Play their way conference and the latest Childrenās Coaching Collaborative catch up online, both very good ways to boost ideas and motivation around what we are all trying to achieve in our own but also across sport all around. Together we can get this right and itās very important.
Also important is safeguarding and training updates on exploitation and wellbeing. Along with a comprehensive conversation with the Ann Craft Trust. All very thought provoking as always.
The latest Belong webinar and the topic of how sport can build communities.
Huge congratulations yet again to Chris moving from AGB instructor to sessions coach and Duncan from level 1 to Development Coach. Both determined to improve their own knowledge for the benefit of others. Proud of you both and that you both work with me for the aims of Integr8Archery CIC.
I think that about sums up the week. I have been notified that 3 of the awards that I had been nominated for have not seen me shortlisted but 2 of the organisations have said they would like to run pieces on the work in the next year so thatās a bit of positive news at least.
Take care of yourselves and hope to see you soon ā¤ļøš¹
So I am a week away from a quarter of the way through year 2 of Integr8Archery! I still canāt believe I have a CIC and a club! I do however love how itās all tied down tight on paper with the government so that anyone who does any work with me canāt take advantage of the CIC.
So whatās the last week been? Calls, webinars, teams, zoom, webex ā¦ā¦ attending the inaugural conference hosted by the Muslim Sports Foundation. Many interesting speakers and some great networking as well as catching up with friends who were also in attendance.
Testing options and making decisions regarding how to proceed with my own archery. Those made and the next 4 weeks planned to complete my outdoor season for 2023 and a plan created for the serious work that will begin to learn to shoot again through the indoor season. Certainly will not be bored! There will be no time for that!
October will see my new agreed rota start for the day job, adjusting to allow family and shooting time and remove some of the stresses of trying to fit those in whilst doing a job I love. It all become a little mangled and messy over the summer so this should be a great step forward to let me have control of time back.
Lots to do for Integr8Archery with new groups and sessions being requested and lots of great things in the pipeline.
I love getting updates from groups and individuals who keep me up to date with what is happening and I am loving the data for this next quarter as much as I did those first 12 months. It is a privilege to be allowed to bring my sport to people and work with those already in it, thank you.
This weekend will see Chris undertake her assessment to become a sessions coach, I am so very proud of her, having been an instructor for years, joining the education project in September 2021 when she answered the email Archery GB sent out for me to the local instructors, she has become an important part of the team who supports me, continuing to work with schools and wanting to further her knowledge. Thank you too goes to Northamptonshire Sport for funding to help with the cost of her course.
Today is Youth Mental Heath Day – check out Young Minds or Stem for help with support. This years theme is #bebrave which can mean many things to many people. Take a look at The Childrenās Society page to look at the latest good childhood report.
With this in mind it was extremely good to receive the email from The NSPCC to announce that the online safety bill has been passed. Itās been a long road but absolutely worth the efforts of anyone whoās supported it.
Have a good week and take care of yourselves please ā¤ļøš¹
Kind of feel like a nap would be amazing! But we know I donāt sleep well so in reality – unlikely š«£
What a week itās been, kind of getting used to the wrist brace, hate it and have yet to find time to pick up my bow and see how that all works together, dreading doing it for the first time but I have support so hopefully we will fathom a path quickly š¤š»
Safeguarding has been a huge part of this week – in both the day job and my sport, often hard work and an intense weekend saw me have to put everything else to one side for a couple of days, but there was nothing going to spoil and I did answer urgent enquiries.
Which brings me to several messages I have received over the weekend, 8 by this morning, from people who were at the Disability Championships this weekend. I was supposed to be volunteering but had to withdraw due to work commitments, I will be at the indoors in December and I am stabilising my calendar for next year. So I was surprised to find people think I have quit volunteering and closing down Integr8Archery CIC! Not a single idea where those ideas have come from, so very difficult to answer as I donāt know the root of it all.
Schools are back and itās great to see some children return to archery and also new children try our sport, perfect.
New projects bubbling away and getting ready to start, exciting!
looking forward to the communing week, tomorrow a day with the Muslim Sports Foundation and lots of like minded people in the room working towards the same goals. Sunday I shall be at DISC, always lovely to spend time with them at their sessions. These are just a couple of the highlights.
For now? Coffee and emails to catch up on everything thatās going on.
Take care of yourselves and I look forward to catching up with you soon ā¤ļøš¹
