When I think back to 2021 and early 2022 and the plans that I had worked hard on for years and now things were going to launch from June 2022 to October 2023, the excitement of all of my work coming together across a total of 17 projects!
Then the destruction that was unleashed and where that left me. The amazing people who stood by me, who never gave up.
The decision, nerve wracking as it was to pull 8 of my projects out of that fire and create Integr8archery CIC and how my work in the time since has solidified my belief in what I can do, alone, but with the right people who I choose to work with.
The right groups and organisations that I have chosen to join or collaborate with and what I have been able to achieve. As I am looking at the latest figures for sharing next week I am pleased, they look great and that’s knowing that I have stepped back a little to concentrate on health and home whilst we await answers.
So this last week has seen 3 webinars, the Northamptonshire together fund event, some meetings with new interested parties wanting to discuss how we might get things started for them and a couple of review meetings for ongoing sessions, these are always a good way of keeping things working, and can re-energise sessions.
Lots planned for this coming week, training, studying and meetings, looking forward to Saturday evening and an invitation from friends made at one of our groups sessions.
So, whatever you are doing, stay well and enjoy it all. It’s true what they say, the dark will eventually pass, do I wobble? Yes! But I have most certainly found peace and the ability to forgive myself for trusting the wrong people. I am stood on solid ground, I am waiting for answers on something important, but I also have changed how I look at that whole situation too, I am never going to regret raising my voice for the safety of others, what happens, happens. Sending the email that I did at the weekend in reply to the latest step, has at least stopped the anxiety created by thinking of what I might write in my response.
On Thursday I attended the Together Fund celebration evening hosted by Northamptonshire Sports, due to illness I was asked if I could step in last minute to speak in place of another person. As I listened to Chris, then Matthew and other speakers before me I remembered that other life we all lived, that one before Covid! Do you remember it? Sometimes it’s like reading a book when I think back.
I was a mum, an archer, an enforcement officer. I was a regional safeguarding officer with a passion for my sport and the things I could see it achieve. I had taken that passion and the work I had already started in a number of areas to apply for and become an Ambassador for Archery GB, growing my projects and reaching wider and further than I had before.
I had linked with other like minded people and organisations from within and outside of my sport. I had started to get involved in some multisports meetings hosted by a couple of activity partnerships but particularly Northamptonshire Sports.
Then the news that we were facing a global pandemic, and lockdown was looming. The news that we all had to stay home and in bubbles.
The different areas of my life clashed, enforcing covid restrictions whilst trying to get people active. Working with the NGB to help, particularly when the initial guidelines prevented some individuals returning to our sport. Joining lots of multisports meetings to discuss our individual and joint issues, trying to find solutions. During one of these meetings I was listening to someone who is a good friend, who I actually consider family, as he described the issues in their sport – swimming and realised that I had a solution! But without Northamptonshire Sports we would never have had that conversation 🫣
Post covid I continued to work on my projects, building on the collaborations from before as well as new ones made during those many many online meetings.
For a variety of reasons, in 2022, I resigned as AGB Ambassador, created Integr8archery CIC and evaluated my work, reclaiming what was mine and stepping away from some things that I had put many valuable hours into but were not mine.
This allowed me to protect my work, the people involved and continue with only those who really wanted the best for those that I work with. Schools projects, disadvantaged youth, supoort groups, disability groups, archers wanting to return to the sport, archers whose health had changed and wanted support to face change to stay. Lots and lots of people from these and other groups/clubs I worked with.
I continued to attend meetings hosted by lots of groups/organisations from Sport England, Activity Partnerships, Children’s Coaching Collaborative, Belong. Sporting Equals ….. At the same time continuing to volunteer in other sports/activties as I recalled those conversations that we all need workforce to get and keep people active.
As a result I was often in the same place at the same time as Northamptonshire Sports and the amazing army of red shirts. I took a call about a local group wanting archery and the together fund being a possible source to help us provide sessions for them. So began the connection between Northamptonshire Sports, Integr8archery CIC and Wellingborough Muslim Community group.
Thursday night was a fantastic opportunity to see what we have all achieved across the county in the last 4-5 years, coming together, creating opportunities and collaborating to get and keep people active, from a wide range of areas within the community and such a vast range of activities.
Also a chance to discuss next steps, areas to improve our reach and possibilities as there are still so many to reach. I came away with a number of new contacts made and discussions started to reach new groups, and also some individuals who want putting in touch or introducing to clubs.
I am looking forward to what comes of this but also firmly stand by my believe that whilst we all focus on our sport I think we can achieve most by coming together with others to achieve more for those we want to reach.
A busy week, I love handing full control over to groups to manage themselves and step back and just be there for guidance and mentoring. Several of those this week. I look forward to seeing them when they discuss reviews and at the arranged drop ins. Empowering is most certainly one of the greatest aspects of what I aim for.
Not much gained in time as a number of new requests for one off or multiple sessions and another couple are groups dusting off old kit that hasn’t been used for some time. Let’s blow those cobwebs off and get some arrows shot! Love it.
In the middle of all those meetings an interview with the BBC regarding access to sports for those with disabilities and I always have a great time with Deb who took up the invitation to join me and fling some arrows and add her thoughts to the interview. Looking forward to the piece being aired and seeing everyone from across the county discuss the topics.
Busy, busy in the day job, studying going well – all 3 courses that I am doing!
At home? Some answers to some health questions, some of which we are starting to come to terms with, some which have raised more questions! Slowly plodding forward and looking at what long term adjustments are needed and for who. Family will always come first and especially my children and hopefully the many arrange appointments will help us, those who know me know I always state knowledge is power, and that might be to help us find ways to recover or just the answers to find ways to adapt and adjust.
Tonight I am off to an evening of multisports coming together, I always enjoy these environments and sharing ideas and thoughts on how we can help each other to improve access to sports and activities for everyone.
Unfortunately I wasn’t able to make it to the NFDS meeting due to other commitments but I have been updated and will move my actions forward.
It’s been quite the week health wise! A cold, that upset my asthma and combined to give my lungs a beating! Significantly better now but not quite there, though I will be back at work today.
I believe pretty much most things are up to date message wise and lots of things planned this next week which is great but also tiring some days.
Thanks as always to the coaches who continued to deliver to existing projects whilst I was unwell, never do I take this support for granted.
Got to spend some time with Rose in practise which I always enjoy and I love that our sport is helping whilst she faces her own battles. As always archery proving it is great for the head space.
Sorry there was no update last week. There is a lot going on at the moment that I cannot talk about yet. Some personal and some exciting and project related.
I can say that I have enjoyed hearing that two archers who wanted to return to the sport and approached me (entirely unrelated to each other) are both back on the range and sent me messages over the weekend to update me on how those early sessions have gone and both are really happy to be back with a bow in their hands – love it 🥰
Ongoing projects are ticking along nicely thanks to the amazing coaches I work with and who are happy to stay in contact and plan together so they can help groups get on with their shooting whilst I am doing less at the moment.
Another online meeting with my input still valued across the ocean! I love the excitement of those calls. It still feels slightly unreal that I get to sit at the “virtual” table, when I reached out to my friend in 2021 it was for a friend and the opportunities that were created to offer that person were fantastic, they didn’t go ahead but to be asked to consult on community projects after those other things didn’t happen was a privilege and I love the energy of these meetings.
I haven’t had much time to even look at my own bow in the last couple of weeks, so another month when I am pleased I managed to get a score for the virtual league early on 😜🤷♀️❤️🏹
I breakdown stats into quarter years, another 4 weeks and I will be at a year and 9 months, I always look forward to numbers – they and the updates and feedback are always motivating.
Some. normalcy is returning slowly to the house. But it’s going to be months before things really settle. Don’t be offended if I don’t take your call or make you wait, I have made it clear that I am here, I am providing what I always do but that right now, me and the children are absolutely first.
what does that mean? I work full time and I am a mum. I have given 25-30 hours a week to other people’s archery for around 7 years, all voluntary. I am currently giving 15 – 20 hours a week, that’s no small amount.
This week has been meetings and calls regarding existing projects and some new ones for 2024. Calls with people I support and plans for archers, projects and coaches.
Not much time to pick up my own bow as home and work have demanded time that I rightly give. I am definitely blessed to have Jack when I come home to chat with 🤗 I am enjoying the brief time at the top of my division in the virtual archery league. I am fairly sure I have predicted the outcome but we’ll see if I am right in the next couple of months 🙃
I am looking forward to Sunday afternoon with DISC, always a great session and I really did miss last month’s, though the cancellation was for very good reason, I always come away inspired and motivated.
Right I am being shouted for my lunch before going to work, 25 hours on house and I have promised Jack some time to chill tomorrow evening so anything coming in will likely be answered Thursday.
I remember talking to my son after completing my beginners course and saying that summer I would do 2 competitions that were club only, put on more for social reasons that serious competition and it would give me several months to practise. He and my daughter love competitions and most Sundays saw us sat somewhere watching them shoot. He calmly replied that I had been entered for a great competition they had chosen for me in March – 5 weeks away!
What I had planned to be 2 gentle competitions late summer, became constant Sunday peace on the line. Never have I competed to beat anyone else – 6 years on and all I ever do is compare me to me.
That first summer saw me receive an invitation to shoot for the county, I recall the anxiety of walking onto the field for that first county competition, that was soon taken care of, never have I had a warmer welcome than that morning and many of those people are some of the most supportive, amazing friends in my life – family for sure. I have been blessed to earn a county year bar every year from 2018 – 2023, time will tell if the work I am doing to continue shooting will see me earn one for 2024? Certainly having the county captain as a shooting buddy has helped me stay when I might have quit the sport entirely.
I have earned lots of medals in my 6 years of shooting, there have been a range of achievements and on a few occasions I’ve been given a medal when there was only me in my category. I remember the first time that happened and wondering if it was at all meaningful? I was told that it represented the many hours of shooting I had put in before the competition, the hard days, the painful days, the days when I might not have picked up my bow but didn’t give up. So those few medals do actually carry meaning for me, helped by the fact that I have always kept a shooting diary and so I can see what went into the build up for each.
Flight has seen me earn national medals, 4 golds in 2021 and 2 golds, a silver and a bronze in 2022. 2023 saw circumstances keep me away from the competitions but hopefully this will not be the case in 2024, I love flight 🏹
Anyone who knows me knows that whilst I will always celebrate with you, I measure achievements in much more than medals. From a child who was being excluded from class daily who excelled when picking up a bow with us and gradually took that discipline into class and 8 months later their teacher emailed me to say they had just completed a month of being in class all day every day! A child who had become stuck in the house for many many months due to mental health issues created in lockdown, who gradually, steadily took the time to build up the courage to join me in our pjs to stand on the range!
In order to celebrate achievements I created the progress awards for those who are learning on a slower path than a traditional club environment may provide. I have celebrated with cake, hot chocolate, stickers, laughter …… many things. Occasionally I see something special that gives a reason to do something a little different. With this in mind I sometimes give away my medals, I explain what it is, how I came to have it, the effort it took not just on the day I received it. 2 of those have been a national gold medal.
In 2021 I had the pleasure of meeting an amazing young man, quiet, intelligent and awesome. Initially anxious, gradually settling, week after week feeling more comfortable. Some times we would share some lemon cake, a great ice breaker and I often believe it’s easier to be brave with food or drink in our hands, like a safety blanket. In May 2022 I had seen him flourish and again felt the privilege of someone who had trusted me. I gave him a gold medal, explained what it was and told him he deserved this for the efforts he had made, week after week, to walk in and gradually grow more comfort when social anxiety was very clearly a massive issue.
The other one? A special young man, who watched his grandfather, his best friend, battle cancer but ultimately loose that fight. In those early weeks of grieiving this young man had to travel across the world to spend time with family, many who he had either never met or only chatted with over FaceTime. Coming together because there was another significant loss in our family. In a strange country, surrounded by grief whilst dealing with loosing his grandfather he was brave enough to let us all in, and to let me take him almost 2 hours away to walk him onto a range and spend some time shooting arrows, a strange new sport, in a strange country with strangers. Since February 2023 that medal has lived across the Atlantic with a brave young man 🥰
So what do you do with your medals? I have photos of all of them and my diaries to tell me what and when I earned them so most are in a box that I put them in, but some of my medals are out there with others, including those 2 medals, doing a little bit of extra work ❤️🏹
Firstly a big thanks to the coaches who help me deliver sessions as they have quietly got on with it and made sure much of what is arranged has been delivered, some calls, cuppas and emails at random times – though working with me is a lot like that anyhow 😜😂🫣😋
Thank you too for those who have supported us taking care of Paul, it’s slow but he seems to be gradually improving 🤞🏻
Saturday was weird having electricity put into me hand and elbow, a list of things it isn’t but the news that it likely means whatever it is isn’t fixable. A discussion around the wrist brace with my beloved logic used against me which means it will be staying 🤨 but the very good news that I can continue shooting, obviously the changes will need to continue since the brace is staying 🤷♀️ but almost immediately my amazing shooting buddy pinged to arrange range time and a couple of quick messages mean I have a local range in case I need to get home quickly. So many amazing people in our sport – I am blessed to count many as friends.
Teams meetings at odd hours arranged for this coming week and things to do for ongoing and new projects.
Humbled to see a shout out from Sporting Equals at the weekend, always amazing to be recognised for my efforts and the work that Integr8archery CIC, but when it’s from outside the archery community it blows me away.
Take care and see you on a range soon, definitely glad I got my January Portsmouth in early for the virtual archery league otherwise I wouldn’t have managed to fit one in!
6 years ago today I completed my beginners course! I have spent the day thinking about what that 6 years have contained! Wondering what might have been if I hadn’t picked up a bow.
I had been volunteering my time before that as everyone else in the house were already shooting but without a doubt I would never have given so much of my time had I not become an archer. I loved the sport for what it was giving my children but I had not experienced what I would gain.
I had friends in the county but I didn’t have the bonds and some amazing friendships that grew from pulling on a county shirt and being part of the squad, supporting each other in the most amazing ways.
I certainly wouldn’t have travelled the path that led to my creating Integr8archery CIC and the projects I have now or those in the years before. It has been a privilege to work with those I have met through the projects.
There are a list of downsides too, I won’t go into those, for a variety of reasons, but again, some of those have brought fantastic people into my life.
It was all of these things whizzing around my head as I sat waiting at the hospital for my appointment today, the first of 2 appointments in 6 days – the good news is I have been given permission to continue shooting if I would like to, so crack on with learning my new routine it is then!
It’s rare I ask for anything, despite how much I give, so as I walked back into the house to mull over the conversation at the hospital I was surprised to find messages, messages which frankly I think are selfish and demanding attention when I have explained that right now, there are things happening that require my attention. Likely not helped by the fact that the wording was triggering for me, initially I was not going to reply but I do not wish to trigger anyone else’s anxiety by making them wait. The subsequent response just reinforced my initial feelings that the sender was selfish and demanding with no interest in me.
So, I emphasise – right now I will give what I can, but this is not my priority, my health and that of my children is and I may just start not replying to rude or triggering messages.
I do wish to thank those who have sent kind and/or supportive messages too, particularly in reference to helping the children look after Paul, WOAC – as expected, have been amazing – thank you 🥰
without a doubt this last week has been intense for a number of reasons, the day job saw me become part of a team working in a temporary emergency setting to keep a young person safe, along side those of us working with them. We pulled it off through a great example of what a team of like minded individuals can do, not down playing the efforts of this who stayed in our usual setting to work with the Luther young people in our care, they had to manage without us.
Glad to say the week is ended well with everyone safe and well and as we are so often reminded, the aim of every shift is for us to return home safe.
Saturday was interesting as I was utterly exhausted and I am grateful that Chris and Jack managed to understand my exhausted mind when it often retrieved the wrong words mid sentence 🫣 luckily they often rhymed with the word I actually wanted so that helped 😂
Sunday I woke with the still hovering migraine so decided to withdraw from the competition but due to Paul’s ongoing health concerns I took Rose for the day, I don’t often get to be an archery mum, so it was lovely to do just that. I am so proud of her, with everything she has going on at the moment she wanted to just relax and enjoy herself. She came away with a new PB, two golds and a silver 🥰🏹
Thank you to everyone for their support and care during the day but especially to Anita who absolutely spent the day taking care of me in the very best way – filling it with as much laughter as possible 🤗😜 Great as always to catch up with everyone and thank you to Duncan for looking after raffle tickets, medal collecting and picking up forgotten items when we had to dash off to get Paul to a&e.
Huge apologies to DISC for having to cancel, I love spending time with this group they are amazing and I did miss them, look forward to dropping in soon for sure.
This week is going to be hard as we help Paul recover and Jack is proving to be great at caring for him but I am rightfully supporting them and that does mean you are going to have to be patient and bear with me. Messages will be answered as and when, if it helps to put it all into perspective I have had to take some leave from the paid job too, and for those trying to get things from Paul, Jack and Rose, with my support are keeping as many of you away as possible, he can’t concentrate on you whilst he heals – sorry but there it is.
So, hopefully the next week will see some return to normal but the hospital appointments for me, Rose and Jack continue to land on the doormat so they will take priority 🤗
