Yesterday was a perfect example of why I love doing what I do. A meeting with Northamptonshire Sport and Wellingborough Muslim Community to finalise the plans for our start archery event on the 8th May and the 3 planned sessions afterwards for those who want to participate after the event.
The next cuppa and catch up with the Children’s Coaching Collaborative and it was another great conversation around the voice, choice, journey. Sharing thoughts and ideas with like minded individuals is always motivating and multi sport environments is a great reminder that we are all trying to reach the same goals.
If you recall the blog I did at 26 weeks as my first 6 months round up you will remember I provided a bunch of stats and figures. If you didn’t see it if you type 26 weeks in the search box it’ll bring it up for you.
So what has the last 13 weeks held? Obviously on a personal scale the loss of my dad overshadows absolutely everything else and I miss our weekly chats about what I am doing with Integr8Archery.
On a personal archery note I had cancelled my indoor season to allow family to be priority but I have managed to pick up my bow and shoot and with some practise and scored rounds I have managed to achieve a C classification. My 5th indoor season and something that I have never before managed!! I am really happy with that – let’s be honest if we round up the 5 years I have been shooting – struggling with pain, having to become a seated archer, covid and whatever we describe the last 17 months as, the battle to shoot has been tough but at the moment my shooting seems to be settled, consistent and at the moment, the strongest it’s ever been.
What about Integr8Archery?
Well the club has its school partnership to allow shooting on weekends and planning is happening for the competitions we will host and a number of community activities.
It was fantastic to see the DISC group have their first archery session several years since the bows were last picked up, this was also the first session delivered by 2 coaches coming on board to help Integr8Archery achieve it’s goals.
Lots of meetings, several new groups looking to see what we might be able to accomplish together.
The education project has seen an additional 63 children pick up a bow and try our sport and today the children who are part of the archery club at Wrenn school will be receiving the first certificates awarded from the Integr8Archery progression scheme that we have created. Incredibly proud of what they have achieved.
Thank you for all of your support so far, see you on a range soon.
Emails, meetings, phone calls, webinars – sums up the week so far.
Doesn’t sound exciting but it is the results of lots of planning coming to fulfilment and the next few weeks and months should see things happening and it will be great to see bows in new hands and also some returners to the range.
This morning I received my certificate from North Hertfordshire College as my course results have finally been returned from the moderator following the notification I had passed the Level 2 Certificate in Self Harm and Suicide Awareness Prevention in January.
As a safeguarding officer I am not required to undertake CPD but I always have, this is by taking formal qualifications and also by taking part in webinars and groups such as the sessions with PACE to further improve me knowledge. As a significant portion of the work that I do for projects sees me and the coaches who undertake work for Integr8Archery involves children and vulnerable adults I see this as an incredibly important part of my role.
So this weekend sees us change the clocks and so we get lighter nights, perfect as we are in the transition from indoor to outdoor season as archers. I have my first session booked this coming week with some shooting buddies whose company I enjoy on the range but first to finish my indoor season today and see if I can achieve something for myself 🤞🏻❤️🏹
Take care of yourself whatever it is that you are doing. 😊
This week has predominantly focused on communication, catching up on ideas put on hold for various reasons, looking what is ready to start, making new links and reviewing existing groups and sessions.
Today was a local community event aimed at getting to know each other hosted by the local library, here I have picked up lots of information to help me signpost potential service users, as some times when chatting to people I know they may benefit from other things but I am not always sure what is available, today I learned lots of local links for exactly this purpose. Whilst this was the aim that saw me attend the event I have also come away with a number of community groups who think that their service users might benefit from the access to archery that I might be able to help provide too. Exactly the drive behind setting up my “little business” and the reason why it is a community interest company and not for profit. So, over coming weeks and months I shall hopefully be able to report back on some of the ideas and links that have come from today.
I loved hearing the news on Sunday that the DISC group had a fantastic time at their first archery session and it’s great to know the work and effort put into re-starting this as one of the activities after several years away is going to be a success. Thank you to Nick and Jackie who though established coaches are new to the Integr8Archery team and their first session for us as been a resounding success 🥳❤️🏹
Thank you also to Jack who has joined the group at Weavers to help there. First week for him seems to have gone well and he and Chris are going to be great I am sure.
Lots planned for me this coming week before I head off to Lilleshall for volunteering at the Grand Prix, outdoors season is approaching fast.
Flight, my favourite archery and what kept me going – scrapyard challenge meets archery 😉😂🥰🏹
If you were asked – what do you get out of archery? What would you say? If you were asked – what would you loose if it was taken from you? What would you say?
Have a think, you don’t have to tell me, you can, but you don’t have to. So now you have thought and you think you know the answer. Someone tries to take it, what would you do? Let them? Or would you fight to keep what it gives you?
Sound dramatic? Or it’s Saturday and you don’t like thinking too hard after being at work all week 🙃
I am asked often about what I get from what I do, there must be a reason I give between 20-40 hours a week for free on top of family, working full time and my own archery.
I know what archery can give, the ability to calm a stressed mind. My work sees me deal with complex, stressful situations. Highly emotive and draining some days. I can list the situations that have meant I go home and can’t clear the things I dealt with that day and have brought home with me, maybe I will sit and cry, drink a bottle of wine, some way of trying to deal with what the day brought me. If we go back to 2018 when I passed my beginners course, I had been shooting only a few weeks and sent a message home to say I was going to be late, I was headed into a debrief, I had taken a suicide call, it had ended tragically. 45 minutes later I received a text with a photo of my bow set up on the waiting line – “Molly is waiting for you when you finish”.
2 hours of shooting, if I don’t clear my mind those arrows aren’t going anywhere near where they are supposed to. Went home, ate dinner with my family and relaxed, no crying, no alcohol. My bow has provided that service often, she demands that I clear my head, she is selfish, if I do not give her my entire focus she misbehaves. That – that is what she gives me, the ability to let go of what my mind is carrying.
It’s also given me, my people, we are all a little quirky, those of us who fling arrows, so for the most part, we are quite accepting of the things that make each of us different. That cannot be overrated, the ability to be yourself, to let your personality free. Are you a literal thinker, a logical mind, someone who loves rules, repetition and routine. Ours is a sport made for minds who thrive on structure. It’s part of why the pandemic had such a huge impact when we were locked in and for periods of time kept off the range. That loss of routine and ability to have a space where we empty our minds. Society demands things, wants you to fit in boxes created by others, ranges and archers let you be you, with no demands or explanations needed.
There is no secret of what I have gone through on a physical, pain basis to shoot and remain shooting, the battle with my mind to sit to shoot. I have told the story and been invited into other people’s struggles as a result – surely a privilege.
But, having fought that struggle to remain and shoot. I was told very clearly by a person who I had trust in, that I had no place on a range, any range. No role in the sport in any capacity as an archer, a volunteer, project manager ….. any role. That I should walk away. They used information that our friendship gave them, over a period of 6 months to really make incredibly brutal statements about why I should walk away. November 21 to May 22 – words can create damage, and how they are delivered can create so much more.
In addition there were other things happening that were creating massive issues with my ability to feel safe on a range, issues being created by my past that had been raised and were part of what that person was using too, along with others who do not know what they are referring to but know there’s something.
All of this combined to put me in a place where I was my most mentally vulnerable since 1996. Where should I go for my mind? The range, but of course it had been made clear that there was no place for me there. So I deteriorated massively, nowhere to go, nowhere to be safe.
Remember that I said in my space I found my people? Well they were still there, I thought I lost them with my ranges and my sport. Nope! They held on, and wouldn’t let go, even though I had. A small group who together helped me find where I can go when I need safe shooting space – safe for my head. I now have a list of ranges that when I am at my most vulnerable I can walk on and each has a couple of people who will stand beside me and shoot with no need for me to explain but will just be there, whenever I need them. Others will sit with me by the power of the virtual world in the middle of the night and listen to me talk and cry and there have been literally days and nights when it’s been just about reminding me to breathe.
In the middle of all of this, because it wasn’t widely known what I was going through, though many had seen me cry on the shooting line, I took a call from someone I knew who needed help, broken down mentally and need support, someone who had used me before in my capacity as a safeguarding officer. They were getting help from the right people medically but needed someone who understood what the loss of their sport meant. Well I certainly understood that! So in the middle of my mess I could help someone else.
Then a chat about my future in the sport outside of my own shooting, a talk that saw me 24 hours later with a non profit company and an application to the government for a Community Interest Company. My projects reviewed and decisions made about my way forward. That same night a discussion about my clothes, where were my crazy leggings? More decisions made there – a reminder that this sport, with my people, accept me and my crazy 😂 so yes they would be back on the range in their wild technicolour 🥰
So the work began, to claim my right to be on the range and to be in my sport and to rebuild the safe spaces for my mind to breathe.
The outdoor season was torrid, I love competition, I am not interested in anyone else’s scores, just shooting against myself. However in the middle of that is the magic that is my flight season, you want to be accepted? There you will be truly welcome with no fear of what anyone will say. My flight family are, for the most part approximately 200 miles away, but there always. Those competition’s definitely gave me positive focus. Of course, 2022 also saw me shoot the amazing footbow which it turns out makes me laugh, really laugh with every shot fired.
Indoor season, we had been told the devastating news in the summer that dad had cancer and it was terminal, and so we focused and come the end of the summer we really had to put our focus as a family here, we were going to squeeze what we could from however little time we had and we knew it was going to be short. So I declared my indoor season cancelled, no competitions, no regular training, me and my clingy band doing what we could to keep muscles from quitting but only rarely shooting an arrow. My archery family reaching out when I needed it, but respecting every time I said I needed to focus on family. I will forever be grateful for that, when I was able to walk onto a range with my bow, just picking up like I hadn’t been away.
When the time came and we lost the amazing person that was my dad, I was away for weeks. My archery family, staying with virtually – calls, messages, hours on FaceTime and someone actually driving many miles to just sit and check that I was ok.
I have been home for almost 4 weeks, and have managed to shoot with some regularity. It’s been in this time that it has hit me dad has gone, he’s not there to tell how things are going with my little business or my shooting, those weekly chats have gone.
What I do know is this, my life is a mess and I am dealing with all that has happened in the last 17 months and the history that has been dragged back into my life. However my safe space that I lost and needed and was given back to me by my fight and the help of those archers who always accepted me, is back. It’s mine, I have claimed it. For sure there are a small number of places I will never return to with a bow, that will never be mentally safe for me again, but that is the price I will pay for what is now my calm space, that with the work that I have put in since June has now become a calmer, mentally safer place than it ever was even before.
Also, whilst I am celebrating the return of this, that I have survived and stand here stronger in my archery than I ever was, if I am careful next weekend I may actually achieve something I never have before so 🤞🏻 because it will, for me, be a reward that going through that very worst of times I made it. It will also be something to show those who have stood by me throughout this, that maybe it was worth it for them too, and to those who told me I have no place, that one strongest voice, well you know what? I do have a place, the rest of my life is in a state of carnage that I am taking day by day but here, on the range and in my sport, I do have a place and you have no right to take it from me and no idea of what you almost cost me.
Thank you to every single person who has given me anything this last 17 months, I can now say that yes, I do know what my sport gives me, and yes I will fight for my right to be on a range as much as I have battled for others in the last 6 years.
Maybe, just maybe, next Saturday evening I can pop back and tell you that I have achieved something that I didn’t know I would finish this season with, if I do it may seem small to some but for me it will be massive. 🤗
The point of this, don’t ever give up because someone tells you that you must, and that if you need it, this archery family is full of the most amazing people who will help you if you allow them to.
My last competition of the outdoor season, pulled on my county shirt before concentrating on family, my squad family never gave up 🥰🏹
If you know me, the projects or just keep looking here for what’s happening you will know that everything I have done for the last 4 years in regards to long term projects is about them becoming sustainable for each group that I work with. The base of this plan is that they have people trained and take over the running of the group and coaches who work with them on behalf of Integr8Archery to mentor them.
Last summer I was approached by Northamptonshire Carers to discuss plans for the DISC group which meets every other week and provides access to their users to a variety of sports. Some years previously they had archery in their cycle but it had stopped.
Upon visiting we found a treasure of kit, they were aware that they had soft kit for arrows Archery but we found so much more, meaning that with just some support and training they could easily be up and running for the full range that our sport can offer.
This week we have finally gotten everything in place and 19th March will see the first of their monthly archery sessions take place! This is so exciting. It is here I must say a number of thank you’s – The Worshipful Company of Fletchers who have generously provided funding for two volunteers to undertake instructor training next month, Long Buckby Archery Club for the donation of the kit for pointy archery, when we found it, it was all very carefully labelled and the club have donated this to the group for their ongoing use. Also to Nick and Jackie from Towcester Archery Club for joining the group of coaches who work with Integr8Archery to go out there into the community and provide access to our sport and will be giving their time to support the DISC group.
Wednesday saw another great multi sport meeting hosted by Graeme at Northamptonshire Sport, always great to look at how we can help each other and achieve our shared aims, more to come about new things I will be doing from that meeting later.
Couple of meetings around our start archery event and some reviewing plans for schools already working with us.
Also design visuals for the medals we will be using for the competitions that we are planning and as Duncan and I have just about sorted our progression scheme, the badges have been designed for this along with a new flight workshop badge after the previous supplier let me down.
Thank you so very much to Duncan for all of the work he has put in on the Integr8Archery progression scheme, this scheme will see individuals work to the level that will then allow them to partake in the AGB progression scheme and something that I have been trying to arrange for over 2 years but have run into difficulties along the way, so thank you Duncan for always listening to my thoughts, also for creating the certificates and now designing the membership card for the Integr8Archery school club members.
I never take for granted any of the work that anyone does with me, wether voluntary or if they are paid by one of the groups.
I wanted the clean simplicity – these will look amazing in person with the shine of the metal.As soon as I get these I will hand out the ones already earned, including the long awaited flight workshop participants
Lots of planning and emails and online meetings again.
One of the good things we brought out of the pandemic was the willingness to chat with each other online and achieve things regardless. This has been especially helpful this week with the weather and several people I was due to meet feeling unwell and not wishing to share their germs. Grateful they didn’t make the rest of us unwell and that they carried on from their homes.
Finalised the arrangements for the first DISC session to be held on the 19th March. The plans almost confirmed for the Integr8Archery Club start archery event on the 8th May. The Integr8Archery Club sessions almost in place for launch on the 15th April.
Conversations with coaches in 2 other counties wishing to launch events to help groups in their local communities to try our sport with the aim of creating sustainable sessions.
Sharing knowledge regarding possible changes or avenues to explore to help someone remain in the sport they love, ours is such an adaptive sport.
Progression awards for the education groups (but useable by all our community groups) created and certificates designed, badges for this and a couple of other things with the designers who should have the final visuals with me by Monday – thank you Duncan for all the work you have put in on this and listening to my thoughts.
Medal ideas also with the designers for the competitions we are planning for indoor and outdoor seasons but also for some school competitions we are planning. Again I am excited for the visuals which will be with me soon.
Right, off to shoot some of my own arrows after having to cancel yesterday’s. Take care and enjoy your weekend ❤️🏹
So I am technically unemployed for a few days as I await the new job to be sorted, I could sit and relax but we all know that ends badly, we are after all approaching the 3rd anniversary of impaling myself on a tree for those who forget I don’t just sit and chill! 😱🫣
So what have I done:
Sensory football webchat and discussions around conversation and instructions for complex needs with SENSE.
meeting with AGB.
catch up and planning with DISC for Northamptonshire Carers and everything back on track, including two new coaches on board with Integr8Archery to support our community groups and aims for sustainable archery – exciting on several points.
First face to face Integr8Archery club committee as both August and October were online.
on top of this there have been 5 other meetings around existing projects, coaches and new instructors and coaches.
meeting with sport4fitness to finalise plans for their CIC and the groups that we will introduce archery to, including re-starting the out of school educated groups and the Send4dads group.
I have had lots of fun this weekend, shooting three times 😱😂🫣 maybe I will soon be back to my 800 – 1000 arrows a week after all! 4 ranges, countless friends, county squad mates – essentially my archery family. Smiles, hugs, chatting, a couple of tearful moments but mostly just back in my safe places with people who I am safe to be around, never to be underestimated and very definitely proof that the fight to stay with my sport was worth it. Days where I most definitely thought I was beaten since November 21 but this week was proof it’s worth fighting for.
I am putting in an order to lionhart in the next week or so and for anyone who wants one I only have 5 Integr8Archery big bobble hats left from the initial production batch. Let me know if you want anything.
I shall be out and about this next week and hope to catch up with more people whilst getting ready to announce some events that we will be hosting, so keep your eyes open. Stay safe ❤️🏹
Integr8Archery CIC and Sport4fitness CIC – collaboration for the community
So lots of meetings and a couple of webinars so far this week, definitely highlights such as chatting through plans with AGB, an adaptive multi sports webinar and looking at complex communication strategies and getting the DISC sessions back on track with Northamptonshire Carers.
Plans in place for 8th May which I will give more details about next week, but very exciting after a year of work to get the first group organised and planned.
My archery? We know I work hard with my pain to shoot, sitting was not an easy change and last year a number of things collided to see me almost walk away from the sport as a whole.
I last shot properly on New Year’s Eve eve! Arranged some shooting time at a couple of places yesterday and came away with a PB for a Portsmouth and those few extra points moved it from a D classification score to a C – which I have never had for a Portsmouth!
So today? I have booked myself in for a scored round – Worcester and I have created myself a new plan.
My focus this year enjoying those 8 days of archery at Dunster and my flight season. Had a bit of a wobble when I looked at the new classification tables having set myself a target but looking closely I think I may have set myself something out of reach so, let’s see what happens?
I was asked about how Integr8Archery has people around the country?
Two things:
schools or community groups where the person leading the sessions work with me and I support them in their aims – like me, sustainable long term archery in places there has been no access to the sport, a lot are schools but not all.
archers who I have supported through various things, mostly change but who thought maybe archery was something they needed to leave behind or loose. Sure I support them, but they also support me – Integr8Archery is a support network to keep us all doing the thing we love.
So with that in mind, thank you to everyone who has kept me going when I have truly seen no alternative to walking away. Have a great weekend and as always may your arrows fly strong ❤️🏹
So many meetings in the last week! In person, online and by phone. Amazing things coming together though so definitely worth it all and the juggling act to fit it all in.
A year after first discussing accessibility to sport for the local Muslim community with Northamptonshire Sport, we have finally got dates in the calendar for the first sessions, so pleased we have made the efforts to keep communication open and cannot wait to see what we all achieve together – collaboration is amazing and makes us stronger by working together.
The first meeting of the Children’s Coaching Collaborative was fantastic, so many people across multiple sports coming together for the same aims – that “children first” is the important element of what we do when working with juniors and must remain the focus of everything we do. The Voice, Choice, Journey campaign is going to be a great launch platform and if you haven’t already taken a look at the collaborative I would very much recommend you join up and get involved.
This led me really quite well into some amazing discussions at the regions/home nations/Archery GB 2 day get together with some great topics and ways we can move things forward around a number of things, especially Safeguarding which is my most important focus as many of you know, and again I am looking forward to the future meetings to see what we can all accomplish by working together across all of the topics.
We are Undefeatable was a great conversation across multiple sports and platforms that encourage activity and again a new campaign launching soon that I will be pleased to support.
Incredibly proud of some of the friends of Integr8Archery this week with news of many things from achievements to
pushing their own boundaries but I know most are making their own announcements so I will not be stealing their thunder – but I think I have messaged or spoken to most 🥳👏🏻 well done to you all.
Thanks to a few days between changing day jobs I have managed to book a heap of things in the next few days too so as I slide towards 9 months I am so proud of everything that is coming together.
See you all soon, and yes I actually have plans to shoot my own bow this week 😱😉❤️🏹 and the first in person get together for the Integr8Archery Club committee who have been getting on great virtually so hopefully we will do face to face 🙃
Thank you for your support this week folks, it’s very much appreciated as always but knowing that I am now trying to find my normal many of you have reached out to ask how I am and how you can help or support me, it means so very much.
I have had three meetings with coaches reviewing the education project and I was thrilled to find that where we are at and my thoughts are reflected by them, they are feet on the ground every week in those placing so it does suggests communication is working!
Also looking at plans from 2 years and from 12 months ago I can see some things need changing for the forward planning and there is information that needs sharing with others doing similar work, we can all achieve our best in our shared goals if we share our reviews.
Which leads me to this weekend – Friday and Saturday – 2 days with regions and home nations and the national governing body to discuss several topics, yesterday was a great change to talk and I am looking forward to seeing what today brings, but certainly had the chance to discuss my thoughts around the review of the grassroots projects with AGB and they have similar findings in some areas so discussion of my forward planning and shared thoughts was a great opportunity to touch base.
A fantastic meeting with Northamptonshire Sports and a newly created local charity that has seen us move on a project I have been working on with the activity partnership for the last 12 months – exciting stuff. We are Undeafeatable meeting and the first Children’s Coaching Collaborative catch-up – fantastic to sit amongst like minded people who want to put the children at the centre of coaching from grassroots to elite juniors and how we can assure their voice is heard. Looking forward to working with these going forward and encouraging others to sign up. March will see their Voice, Choice, Journey campaign kick off so I will be providing so much more information around that.
Hats have arrived and I put lots in the post yesterday, I cannot wait to see photos of them out in the wild, I can testify that they are cosy and warm as I wore mine much of yesterday since I currently have very little hair!! Big bobble hats have done an awesome job of creating what I wanted.
Have a good weekend and let me know how you are doing ❤️🏹
