I have said for many many years that success is so much more than medals, celebratory moments in sport are about so many things. I can list many examples that I have been privileged to be a part of in the last 7 years.
Today was no different, I love my hour every month with DISC, helping deliver multiple sports and activities to amazing children and their families.
Today there was a boy who I have seen often for over a year, close to 18 months, he struggles to retain the information, communication isn’t always simple and he looses concentration, he is anxious about his mum leaving and looks for reassurance that she’s stayed. He walked in and I always allow him to show me what he can remember, today he picked up his bow and an arrow and completed the shot routine and hit a blue immediately, his mum was stunned and as I handed him a second arrow, he turned to tell her she didn’t need to watch she could chat outside the door with other adults if she wished and just got on with it. Proud? Oh yes, and in these moments, the very hardest thing is not to react, just carry on, when in fact I want to dance and hug and celebrate.
There were lots of other amazing moments, as always, children who still come to see me despite me progressing them to local clubs, for example a young man I met almost a year ago, introduced him to a club, yesterday he was at county coaching, this morning he was competing and this evening he went to his club session, but he still makes time to come and say hello, shoot a few soft arrows and some days helps me to deliver. Or the young girl who having watched her sister shooting, sat on the floor with Rose so that she could leave her walking frame to shoot.
I am proud of these children, but it makes me proud of my children and anyone who helps me deliver any kind of sessions, every person is treated as an individual and my priority, always is enjoyment and smiles. Success is different for different people.
Today I also met a young man who has long been an Archery GB member but isn’t currently shooting, despite an incredibly strong family link with our sport, because his club no longer fits his needs. After a chat, I was able to make the introductions to a club that I believe will welcome him and meet his needs and early indications are correct.
I finished the day nipping in to see some who always has hugs for me, just a quick catch up as I knew they had competed today but when I met them at the end of 2022 they were crying as they believed that their only option was to leave our sport as the disability had progressed and they had been made to believe there was no place for them here. Time, patience, laughter and tears have proven that is not the case, adaption and work and here they are, today bringing home a shiny bronze medal 🥳❤️🏹
I know what it is to be told there is no place for you, I know the damage that can do. I will fight for anyone’s right to be active and take part, always.
It has been one of the days that motivates me, shows me I can play a part. Motivation in the bank for the days when I am told to walk away and leave 🤗
Some. normalcy is returning slowly to the house. But it’s going to be months before things really settle. Don’t be offended if I don’t take your call or make you wait, I have made it clear that I am here, I am providing what I always do but that right now, me and the children are absolutely first.
what does that mean? I work full time and I am a mum. I have given 25-30 hours a week to other people’s archery for around 7 years, all voluntary. I am currently giving 15 – 20 hours a week, that’s no small amount.
This week has been meetings and calls regarding existing projects and some new ones for 2024. Calls with people I support and plans for archers, projects and coaches.
Not much time to pick up my own bow as home and work have demanded time that I rightly give. I am definitely blessed to have Jack when I come home to chat with 🤗 I am enjoying the brief time at the top of my division in the virtual archery league. I am fairly sure I have predicted the outcome but we’ll see if I am right in the next couple of months 🙃
I am looking forward to Sunday afternoon with DISC, always a great session and I really did miss last month’s, though the cancellation was for very good reason, I always come away inspired and motivated.
Right I am being shouted for my lunch before going to work, 25 hours on house and I have promised Jack some time to chill tomorrow evening so anything coming in will likely be answered Thursday.
Over the coming weeks and months the three of us are going to be attending a whole bunch of medical appointments.
Happy to share my issues, as I already have been, particularly as it impacts my ability to shoot and the necessity for changes to allow me to continue and I know there are those who like to see what is happening.
The issues of my children are not up for public discussion.
They get involved with Integr8Archery CIC often and help in delivery of a variety of things.
With this in mind, the amount that we will be doing this year will reduce to allow time to concentrate on the many health related things going on.
Existing projects and new projects and lots of exciting things will be happening but there will be some careful selection processes as we utilise our energy on less hours.
You will see us on ranges shooting, competing, delivering and supporting but be prepared that you may some times hear a polite but firm refusal to be involved in something.
There are also some things that are important to us as topics such as anti violence and providing alternative options, these will continue to be important to us and you will see us continue to work in these areas.
I make no apology for putting us first.
See you all soon and I will continue to let you know what is happening with projects 🥰🏹
Sorry for the gap in mid week blogs, lots of things have been going on.
So it’s been busy, busy, busy. A lot has been planned for 2024 and I am looking forward to all of it and I will share more about each session/group/collaboration as the plans become settled. Particularly after the decisions of the coming week.
I have a lot of decisions to be made on a personal level but whatever these are, the things that I have committed to will go ahead and there have been a number of conversations about how to protect Integr8Archery CIC, I am very proud of everything that I have accomplished over the years for this sport and particularly since Integr8Archery began so this will continue, sitting down and reviewing this second year and looking at numbers and achievements has helped me put everything into perspective.
As well as a number of meetings, this week has seen me attend the Ann Craft Trust training in regards to safeguarding adults, which was a great session, anyone involved in safeguarding will know there’s a lot of efforts put into training for general safeguarding or for children but sessions specifically aimed at adults are rare. It was also a great way to learn more about the Ann Craft Trust, who I have spoken to a number of times in the last few months regarding some issues that I have been dealing with for over 3 years. Many thanks to Northamptonshire Sports to for putting the session on.
A third session in the #look closer programme being put on by the Children’s Society. There is always more to learn, even in regards to subjects ŵe may know about and I do find these are well put together sessions.
I was blown away to receive an email asking me to consider some volunteer posts that are hugely important in regards to disability sports and access, both would be a privilege but I need to consider what I want to do with archery and what will fit in with my future, I think it’s likely I can consider one of the roles.
After a very busy weekend of night shifts, I have had time to celebrate the hard work that has seen me be successful in a promotion in the day job and today I got to visit the amazing young people who I love spending time with at DISC. Always inspiring and gives me lots of motivation. Then a few hours with friends at Towcester Archers catching up with some great people.
Now for an early night as I have some meetings tomorrow and lots of planning to do. Take care and have a great week, thank you to those who share their successs, progresses and joys with me, and the photos I received this weekend of bobble hats following my post last week.
I have tried to resist moving indoors, I have never liked it, always cling to drag out the end of outdoors but ultimately have to admit defeat and recognise everyone has gone inside for the winter.
I haven’t shot an arrow for 20 days as I sat and contemplated what the latest changes mean for my shooting. Ultimately it’s just about trying to keep shooting and I am grateful that there are people who will work with me but the last couple of weeks seems like various bits of my body are suddenly being recognised as issues in a variety of areas of my life and it’s been hard to listen to some of the conversations.
So I drew a line and said today would be it, get inside and shoot a scored round.
Rougher than usual couple of days PTSD wise and I lay awake at 2 this morning churning a variety of things over. Nightmares and bad sleep have been part of my life since 1996 so I am not unused to this but, the last couple of years have seen some serious issues and some days it’s just blooming hard work.
Off I went, got the kit set up and there we have it, despite thinking about it, I forgot to pick up the indoor arrows so had to shoot today with the outdoor arrows 🫣 if I had gone home I likely wouldn’t have come back out 🤔
Outdoors I have an agent but some times, indoors, if I am feeling strong and the pain is low I will collect my own arrows. Great idea, as I discovered that the wrist brace prevents me from pulling my arrows properly and after 3 ends had to admit defeat and ask someone to pull them for me! Those who know me well will have an idea how well I took this discovery! Feels like another kick! Thank you to Pete for the help today.
I decided to stick with the release aid fastened to me, frankly the mind was in no mood to start with the wrist release today 😬 only two shoulder spasms – easily spotted on the scorecard by the miss and the 1! But as through the summer the shoulder just struggles for stability so scores were somewhat erratic, pretty much a continuation of the outdoor season 😞🤷♀️ expected but there’s always hope.
Part way through a change in the surrounding environment saw my anxiety spike and I considered stopping but really did want a score to lay down the start of indoors and yes I know there will be a host of opinion around continuing versus quitting. So completed and not great but it’s done and I have lots to think about.
So, outdoor season I had set a goal, started well with 4 PB’s and enough to earn me the Bowman 3rd class, not what I wanted but as most of the season I earned archer 3rd or 2nd class scores, it’s all I can claim.
It doesn’t matter what happened as I physically broke down, it’s disappointing. Particularly as I had worked hard in the previous 5 outdoor seasons, had achieved my hard fought 1st class in 2021 and then maintained it in 2022 despite being so mentally unwell. I spent the 2023 season constantly comparing the scores into the old classifications as the first year in the new system gave me no information.
The indoor season will be the same, scores put into the new system but I will use the old system for me to compare. Interestingly the indoor table shows comparable old v new but I am glad I used the tables from the old system as it gave me different information.
Today I shot a Stafford, I believe I have done one before but I have no record so it was clearly in the app that saw me loose all of my information. I scored 566.
In the new classifications this is an indoor archer 2 according to the archery calculator. The tables provided by AGB show an indoor archer 2 is the same as an old G. However this is incorrect as 566 was an E! And interestingly another 11 points would have moved me to a D but the archery calculator shows no change!
So my advice? If you want to compare do it yourself 🤗 because today I got an E class score which is a long way from last years C classification I earned but it’s no G!
So, indoors I am, but I will do my own work as I go about changing to hopefully get me back outdoors next year.
So far this week it’s been paperwork, meetings, webinars. Learning and planning and quite a bit going into the 2024 calendar, some exciting new things and lots being accepted by the great company of coaches who choose to work with Integr8Archery and have formed an amazing team when working together.
One of the elements of the regional safeguarding officer role for EMAS is providing a supportive network for clubs and counties and I often work with other safeguarding officers as a result. Recently WOAC has found themselves without a safeguarding officer and whilst they take the time to find the best fit for a replacement I am standing in to help them. I joined them at club in Saturday to chat with people I know and to get to know those I haven’t met before. Despite it being nippy it was a great visit and I met Flopsy who I shared hot chocolate with whilst we watched his archer shooting her arrows 😊❤️🏹
A couple of different people came to speak with me about what the role of safeguarding officer is, interesting to get 2 very different perspectives. I see the role as:
Club Welfare Officers play a key role in ensuring that that club members have a safe and positive experience at their club. Welfare Officers are key to all members knowing what to do and who to speak to if they have a safeguarding or discipline or conduct concern. We look after children and vulnerable adults and their well-being and welfare. Anyone can be vulnerable and for many it’s a temporary situation. Sometimes we are just signposting to relevant places and often it’s just discussing small things we can change to ensure everyone has the most positive experience. Sometimes it’s the big things – sure, but day to day is often learning and sharing knowledge.
I was disappointed to have cancelled a session with DISC to allow me to help an archer with something, but the organisers of their weekend didn’t take the steps for their weekend. Frustration kicked in for sure as it’s an example of how things don’t always go to plan and in this particular instance it’s a disabled archer who we have been trying to make arrangements for since July. Back to the drawing board and luckily as an overthinker I always have several back up plans so I have picked up plan 4! Fingers crossed.
Right, off out to watch some arrows get flung across the range, I really want to shoot my bow and it’s a little frustrating that I haven’t for almost 2 weeks!!
The last few weeks there have been a number of enquiries and some of those who support me, or who do work with me have also had questions asked by people about Integr8Archery both the Community Interest Company and the archery club. So I thought as we are at the next quarter and I have been doing updates at intervals then it seems timing is good to answer at least some of those questions.
Along with that pre Integr8Archery rollouts were planned from 19th June 2022 to 4th October 2023 – today! Perfect timing then.
I had worked on my projects, then grew them as an ambassador for AGB, then collaborated with Aim4sport, working on their projects, mine and creating some together, in some cases threading them together. Information was out there about some of what was going to be launched after the closure of the shop and training centre. I have explained that I have little to no knowledge to answer questions outside of my work with Integr8Archery though I have tried to help where I can.
So where are things at that I know of?
Archery In Education –
This project currently sits at 18 secondary schools and 5 primary schools in Northamptonshire. Along with 2 schools in Norfolk, 1 in Lincoln, 3 in Yorkshire, 2 in Kent, 3 in the south and I am supporting coaches in a variety of areas who work in a total of 11 other educational settings. There are 5 settings I have drawn a line under who were part of my project but I cannot/will not work with the coaches in those settings.
Disability and Health
I thoroughly enjoy spending time with the DISC group hosted by Northamptonshire Carers and have a great time. The group being set up for existing archers with disabilities had some delays but is getting back on track and will be getting together soon. I have had a great time over the summer being invited to a number of groups who support people with disabilities showing just how adaptive archery is and I am excited about plans for some long term work on access around the areas of learning disabilities, wheelchair and mobility issues, physical disabilities and also visually impaired individuals.
Incusive and supportive
Integr8Archery has hosted another 3 groups of ladies who have found themselves in refuge and making amazing progress on changing their lives and regaining control and confidence. As with any individual or group I try to pair projects with the right coaches, we don’t all have the same strengths and that’s what make us great together. This is definitely a group that selection of coaches is key and I thank those who have been involved. It’s been an amazing experience to be allowed to work with these ladies.
I have worked with several groups around accessibility and inclusion of those with different cultural backgrounds and I am excited to see a couple of these grow into amazing ideas for sustainability.
I continue to work with 3 support groups for LQBTQIA+ young people. The idea I had developed around inclusive competition that became entwined with a bigger idea and I took to a working party and the NGB is something that I stepped away from after being attacked via social media that the idea I had joined with didn’t belong exclusively to the person who shared it with me. So I went back to my original smaller idea and we have had a few small local competitions based on inclusion and I have also worked with 3 senior archers looking at competitions and supporting them in their respective journeys.
There have been another 2 groups of foster children who have taken part in a number of sessions and have had a great time and I am currently working with a couple of different agencies and creating opportunities for children in care to be involved with our sport.
Safeguarding
My most important role I think, those that know me well know this. I constantly work to improve my learning and knowledge in an area that has impacted my paid employment for 30 years and my years of volunteering. Safeguarding is something I have done for years in my sport and I see well-being an important part of this role too.
A large portion of my time here is taken up with something that sees me having been dealing with 14 years worth of information from 42 archers and coaches and sees me continuing to support 9 people and their families on an ongoing basis but also new people come to me at intervals. Some days this fight can be overwhelming but though I have occasionally considered walking away from it, I can’t, changes need to be made so on we fight. I do need to thank Mario, Lynn, Ted and Martin though because I couldn’t fight if I didn’t have a support network for my own wellbeing.
A network in safeguarding is especially important and supporting other officers has always been an important part of what I do.
Charity and franchise
Having spent over two years working hard on contracts and legislation and seeing it all fall into place was amazing, we had it sorted. Creating the charity was something to be hugely proud of and I had a number of people who were ready to invest and donate when we were to launch in June 2022. Linking these two things with the education project was a fantastic project and had amazing potential so pulling it apart was upsetting. Keeping my education project and growing it has made me proud. Being allowed to help look at where those donations could go instead was a privilege and combined it was a huge amount of money, though some offered it to me for Integr8Archery I refused all offers out of this pot as it simply wouldn’t have sat well with me to take it. I do thank those who have sent me updates on the impact that money has had, it’s great to see young people enjoying opportunities that have been given.
That positive energy and news has helped balance the ultimate decision I had to make to pass on some of the abuse I received to the police and that 2 of those people had charges made against them. What was to be an amazing project certainly beat me emotionally and mentally in the end. The decision to pull the education project out of it was the only thing I could do, the other elements were not mine to push forward without the collaboration.
America
The app and the coaching elements that I had worked on here were not mine to continue. However I was blown away to be asked to continue to consult with what had been my elements and I do enjoy the process of developing the community sports projects across the Atlantic, even if that means I am usually shattered and ready for bed when they are excited 😆 again it’s great to get updates and even a couple of little videos from some of the children who have been involved in the three cities involved. It’s not the right time at the moment for me to go over but it’s lovely to have the open invitation to visit when I am ready. I have however had a couple of visits to Camden to chat with my friend who’s business opened those doors when I contacted him and been rewarded with a couple of my favourite sandwiches as thanks for what I am doing – I’ll take that as reward for giving my time.
Volunteering
The very many hours that I give to Integr8Archery all given as a volunteer. I also love giving my time to the other sports that I join occasionally, especially within the running community who are always a great crowd. I love the time I spend with the competitions team at Archery GB for national and international competitions and have been a little disappointed this year with how few I have managed to attend, Grand Prix, JNOC and I will be at the indoors in December but I think the changes we have agreed at work will help me balance paid employment, family commitments following the loss of dad and my own archery and let me attend more AGB volunteering next year.
I have also submitted an application to volunteer in something entirely different, I will keep you updated if this happens and I think it may surprise you to hear what it is!
Employment and my own learning
I love my job, 6 months in I can say it’s fantastic and gives me a level of satisfaction and motivation that I haven’t properly had in paid work for many years. Exhausting, mentally and emotionally draining at times, of course, but I really do feel it’s the right job for me. I don’t complain about my work, I may complain about frustrations that all of us who do the work have, it that’s very different. I am about to embark on a level 3 diploma for that job, along with restarting some courses I had paused due to my mental health and devoting time to dad so the next 12 months will be busy.
Collaborating?
I spend a lot of time in webinars, meetings, conferences with a number of groups, organisations and agencies looking at lots of areas that impact sports and how we can all work together towards common goals.
I am also enjoying working together with other Community Interest Companies and charities to bring access to sport to such a variety of groups and individuals – it’s a privilege to be part of these.
CIC and Club
Simply, we will continue to enable people to try our sport, access it in whatever way they wish, stay in it if the feel change may prevent this. When the recent kit damage is repaired our little club will pick up and carry on with its plans too. If you wish to belong to our supportive community please contact us. You don’t have to leave your club to be part of us, everyone is welcome and it’s lovely to get updates on how everyone is doing.
I am sat here feeling like I have forgotten something 🫣 no doubt someone will point it out to me 😂
So whilst I wait for that I just want to say thank you to everyone who has supported me in any way or who has trusted me to help them. Never do I take any of this for granted and you, the people are always the priority 🥰🏹
So it’s almost indoor season! How do I know this? Rose brought me my first pumpkin spiced latte!! I am strictly a strong black coffee drinker apart from PSL and Gingerbread latte! Oh and an occasional mocha because why choose between hot chocolate and coffee when you can put it all together 😂😂☕️🤔
So, this week has been calls, meetings, training and prepping for new groups and projects. Plus my latest online meeting with those amazing folks across the ocean, it is a little surreal to be involved in projects in different time zones and though I know some of the people creating these projects I have not physically met any of the people holding a bow for the first time! Though along with the photos I sometimes I receive I did get a little email with a recorded video message from 3 amazing 8 year olds. For those who know me, you know I am a hugger and I really wanted a little group hug there 🤗❤️🏹
Working all weekend and prepping for Monday’s conference in Manchester which will be a long day but I think will be fantastic. So only chance of me shooting is in the house, but if the stars all line up I may be introducing someone to our sport and from a different angle this weekend.
Take care of yourselves, enjoy the weekend and catch up with you soon.
Two weeks ago I sat on the line in my county shirt knowing that my hand was going to prevent much of anything, but I was going to have fun with my county squad mates.
I have had issues with the nerves for around 6 years and it’s impacted my fingers on and off. 2023 has seen it really ramp up and loss of sensation and dropping things is now incredibly common – I have broken some things that are irreplaceable this summer 😞 From an archery point of view shooting when your fingers can’t feel your release aid is a little tricky and constantly picking the release aid up off the floor is tedious!
So I gave in and visited the medical centre, nerve damage in my wrist, hand and the ulnar nerve – impacting my thumb, three fingers and hand. A lump of escaped fluid from the wrist that has settled above the nerves in my lump – not helping!
I am waiting on an appointment for nerve testing to then allow us to make a decision going forward, a whole bunch of things have been suggested in that appointment including some surgeries. In the meantime the wrist brace, those who know me well know how well I take to these things, like the shooting stool – I see everything as giving in, not aiding me to continue – I hoped to prove I didn’t need it, but it was clear, very clear that it does help, it makes a difference. I have to take it off for a number of hours and have to think about when to time that but when it’s on I carry things, when it’s off I drop them 🙃 it works then!
Having to wear the wrist brace means I have to think about release aids. Yesterday saw me on the field and trying options, yes the photos aren’t pretty – you can’t adjust the bow for each when you are trying multiple and flipping back and forth asking questions! So judge if you like but I am not asking for hints and tips on draw – thank you for the advice, social media is awesome for armchair coaching!
Easy option is stay with what I use and tie it to me, but we have to consider the long term, which lends itself to the wrist release. Absolutely will mean working my backside off over the indoor season but I started to flesh out my plan and create a little team to support me. Good old pen and paper and a table – whoop all those hours at school wondering when I would ever do this as an adult – even played with the glittery highlighters 😂
So my hand it would appear going to be wearing the wrist brace and a wrist release, well at least it’s going to help keep it warm over the winter – right? Silver lining right there 😂🫣
What else have I been doing? Conference with the Muslim Sport Foundation and meetings with Sport England and a couple of new community groups, getting back to what’s important – introducing people to our sport, people who think they are not welcome to pick up a bow. More to come on these over the next few weeks.
Today I shall be at DISC, I love this group they are so welcoming and we smile – a lot. Then off to Towcester to shoot with friends and just practise using my release aid whilst it’s tied to me as I have a couple more shoots planned and I am not playing with the wrist release in competition.
Have a good Sunday ❤️🏹 Can’t wait to hear how Rose and the Northamptonshire Junior Team got on today.
Not going to lie, the decision to use my middle finger for the wrist release and not my index finger, does feel poetic 😜
Also, my hair is growing back! Who knows for how long but last weekend at work didn’t see it all jump off my head so maybe it will stay a little while, notice the white hair is always the first to grow back 🫣😂
I had huge plans for the summer and it simply hasn’t quite worked out, I am picking everything back up and the effects of that should be seen in the next few weeks. Thank you for your patience, most of you know that Integr8Archery is just me, sometimes the size of it all is a little overwhelming but I love it all the same. A lot of the projects simmer down over the summer so logically it was always going to carry the risk that if I relaxed the issues I have personally would bubble up and they did.
Nothing serious – she says 😂😂 but combined have a large impact on my day to day.
My head space – having had to go back to counselling last year that was doing ok but we had plateaued and needed something new, unsure of what that should look like I took a step in to The Frank Bruno Foundation and the foundations for my next steps have been laid and a new phase to my journey has begun.
All of those joints, if you know me you know I describe my body as second hand and the first person crashed it 😂 few joints aren’t impacted.
When I started shooting in 2018 I was fairly sure I would have two years and set about cramming as much as possible into that. With the help of Ben, as it started to breakdown we have managed to keep it going and it does throw new things regularly and we tweak and move on. I am not going to lie, the tweaking gets harder but I have my bucket list for 2025 and I really want to shoot until the end of that year and tick those boxes!
There are no surprises – my lower back, my shoulder and my hand have really had a party in 2023!!! Scores are poor but the last few weeks Martin and I have started to make some changes that seem to be the start of making it all better, I have no doubt more tweaks will be needed and I am grateful to have someone who will help me.
My hands? Grip has been a problem for many years – often drop things, glasses enter our house at great risk 😬 This year has seen the issues increase significantly and it’s not uncommon to see me dropping things 🤷♀️ this week a couple of new things have happened and it will be a trip to the doctor Wednesday – maybe there are clues because what has always been invisible now has a very visible indicator!
My blood, it was struggling and certainly into the beginning of summer was hard to manage, it’s not amazing but I have worked hard and it’s stabilised at fair to good 🤞🏻 so if I build on this then hopefully it can only get better, the next set of blood tests will confirm or deny if I have achieved what I think I have.
Just for a little added extra the tree bite has kicked off this summer, maybe with everything else I have just been walking differently and so antagonised it, who knows but it’s always interesting to suddenly have reduced sensation in my foot!
Anyhow, the point is I needed to focus on this stuff, the work isn’t done, it’s never going to be, but I can get my head down and crack on with all things archery, so expect it all to pick up in the next week or so. Helped also by my day job sitting down and helping me find a way to stay in a job I love but saw me loose me for a while whilst I gave everything to them and my family and left nothing in the tank for me – fantastic as I do love working in that crazy house 🙃
Thank you especially to Clair, Ben, Pip, Dan, Will, Martin, AOR and of course Jack and Rose ❤️🏹
Today I am off to shoot some arrows and eat burgers at AOR before heading up to Derbyshire to spend time with mum and shoot for the county tomorrow. The love the county squad show me is never taken for granted 🤗
To my flight family, I shall really miss you tomorrow and I am sad that I have missed out on my flight season this year. Love you all and I have already set about planning to see you all next year 🥰🏹
Have a great weekend and never underestimate what you all give me, on the tough days you keep me going thank you 😊