Lots of catching up done in the last day or so after I got home from Lilleshall volunteering as a small part of the amazing team who put on events with Archery GB, my third international event, but I learn from every event I help at, regardless of it’s level. Hard work? Absolutely! Long days? For sure! Worth it? Always!!
Always great catching up with friends and they are my friends as they allow me to sit in my pjs when they gather to chill after dinner 🙃 and they look after me when my body is struggling, no easy thing.
Instructor course, start archery, 4 community events, the disability session at the end of April to name a few …. hard work but so very worth it! New things popping up after sitting in my room alone for 9 evenings with my notepad – never able to turn off my mind! 😉
In order to allow Integr8Archery CIC to be non profit and to put on as much as we can at little to no cost for the community I have to remain in paid employment since I have yet to get that big winning lottery ticket 😂 and this week will see me start my new job after being out of work for 6 weeks following my fixed term contract expiring. This will see me take on a role that I think will be both challenging and rewarding and I am excited. I think the shifts will make my time adaptable for Integr8Archery too as some people want me on weekends and some on weekdays, so now I will have potential to be flexible around those wants. Most importantly from the Integr8Archery perspective it means I don’t require an income from what I do here.
I saw a quote that I really liked this week:
“Don’t leave a place the way you found it.
Leave it the way you would like to have found it.'”
Ben Ferencz.
A lot of what I aim to achieve is covered by this I think. If we each do a little bit, together we can achieve so much to make things better. Equality, Diversity, Inclusion and Safeguarding – all can make a better world.
Emails, meetings, phone calls, webinars – sums up the week so far.
Doesn’t sound exciting but it is the results of lots of planning coming to fulfilment and the next few weeks and months should see things happening and it will be great to see bows in new hands and also some returners to the range.
This morning I received my certificate from North Hertfordshire College as my course results have finally been returned from the moderator following the notification I had passed the Level 2 Certificate in Self Harm and Suicide Awareness Prevention in January.
As a safeguarding officer I am not required to undertake CPD but I always have, this is by taking formal qualifications and also by taking part in webinars and groups such as the sessions with PACE to further improve me knowledge. As a significant portion of the work that I do for projects sees me and the coaches who undertake work for Integr8Archery involves children and vulnerable adults I see this as an incredibly important part of my role.
So this weekend sees us change the clocks and so we get lighter nights, perfect as we are in the transition from indoor to outdoor season as archers. I have my first session booked this coming week with some shooting buddies whose company I enjoy on the range but first to finish my indoor season today and see if I can achieve something for myself 🤞🏻❤️🏹
Take care of yourself whatever it is that you are doing. 😊
Flight, my favourite archery and what kept me going – scrapyard challenge meets archery 😉😂🥰🏹
If you were asked – what do you get out of archery? What would you say? If you were asked – what would you loose if it was taken from you? What would you say?
Have a think, you don’t have to tell me, you can, but you don’t have to. So now you have thought and you think you know the answer. Someone tries to take it, what would you do? Let them? Or would you fight to keep what it gives you?
Sound dramatic? Or it’s Saturday and you don’t like thinking too hard after being at work all week 🙃
I am asked often about what I get from what I do, there must be a reason I give between 20-40 hours a week for free on top of family, working full time and my own archery.
I know what archery can give, the ability to calm a stressed mind. My work sees me deal with complex, stressful situations. Highly emotive and draining some days. I can list the situations that have meant I go home and can’t clear the things I dealt with that day and have brought home with me, maybe I will sit and cry, drink a bottle of wine, some way of trying to deal with what the day brought me. If we go back to 2018 when I passed my beginners course, I had been shooting only a few weeks and sent a message home to say I was going to be late, I was headed into a debrief, I had taken a suicide call, it had ended tragically. 45 minutes later I received a text with a photo of my bow set up on the waiting line – “Molly is waiting for you when you finish”.
2 hours of shooting, if I don’t clear my mind those arrows aren’t going anywhere near where they are supposed to. Went home, ate dinner with my family and relaxed, no crying, no alcohol. My bow has provided that service often, she demands that I clear my head, she is selfish, if I do not give her my entire focus she misbehaves. That – that is what she gives me, the ability to let go of what my mind is carrying.
It’s also given me, my people, we are all a little quirky, those of us who fling arrows, so for the most part, we are quite accepting of the things that make each of us different. That cannot be overrated, the ability to be yourself, to let your personality free. Are you a literal thinker, a logical mind, someone who loves rules, repetition and routine. Ours is a sport made for minds who thrive on structure. It’s part of why the pandemic had such a huge impact when we were locked in and for periods of time kept off the range. That loss of routine and ability to have a space where we empty our minds. Society demands things, wants you to fit in boxes created by others, ranges and archers let you be you, with no demands or explanations needed.
There is no secret of what I have gone through on a physical, pain basis to shoot and remain shooting, the battle with my mind to sit to shoot. I have told the story and been invited into other people’s struggles as a result – surely a privilege.
But, having fought that struggle to remain and shoot. I was told very clearly by a person who I had trust in, that I had no place on a range, any range. No role in the sport in any capacity as an archer, a volunteer, project manager ….. any role. That I should walk away. They used information that our friendship gave them, over a period of 6 months to really make incredibly brutal statements about why I should walk away. November 21 to May 22 – words can create damage, and how they are delivered can create so much more.
In addition there were other things happening that were creating massive issues with my ability to feel safe on a range, issues being created by my past that had been raised and were part of what that person was using too, along with others who do not know what they are referring to but know there’s something.
All of this combined to put me in a place where I was my most mentally vulnerable since 1996. Where should I go for my mind? The range, but of course it had been made clear that there was no place for me there. So I deteriorated massively, nowhere to go, nowhere to be safe.
Remember that I said in my space I found my people? Well they were still there, I thought I lost them with my ranges and my sport. Nope! They held on, and wouldn’t let go, even though I had. A small group who together helped me find where I can go when I need safe shooting space – safe for my head. I now have a list of ranges that when I am at my most vulnerable I can walk on and each has a couple of people who will stand beside me and shoot with no need for me to explain but will just be there, whenever I need them. Others will sit with me by the power of the virtual world in the middle of the night and listen to me talk and cry and there have been literally days and nights when it’s been just about reminding me to breathe.
In the middle of all of this, because it wasn’t widely known what I was going through, though many had seen me cry on the shooting line, I took a call from someone I knew who needed help, broken down mentally and need support, someone who had used me before in my capacity as a safeguarding officer. They were getting help from the right people medically but needed someone who understood what the loss of their sport meant. Well I certainly understood that! So in the middle of my mess I could help someone else.
Then a chat about my future in the sport outside of my own shooting, a talk that saw me 24 hours later with a non profit company and an application to the government for a Community Interest Company. My projects reviewed and decisions made about my way forward. That same night a discussion about my clothes, where were my crazy leggings? More decisions made there – a reminder that this sport, with my people, accept me and my crazy 😂 so yes they would be back on the range in their wild technicolour 🥰
So the work began, to claim my right to be on the range and to be in my sport and to rebuild the safe spaces for my mind to breathe.
The outdoor season was torrid, I love competition, I am not interested in anyone else’s scores, just shooting against myself. However in the middle of that is the magic that is my flight season, you want to be accepted? There you will be truly welcome with no fear of what anyone will say. My flight family are, for the most part approximately 200 miles away, but there always. Those competition’s definitely gave me positive focus. Of course, 2022 also saw me shoot the amazing footbow which it turns out makes me laugh, really laugh with every shot fired.
Indoor season, we had been told the devastating news in the summer that dad had cancer and it was terminal, and so we focused and come the end of the summer we really had to put our focus as a family here, we were going to squeeze what we could from however little time we had and we knew it was going to be short. So I declared my indoor season cancelled, no competitions, no regular training, me and my clingy band doing what we could to keep muscles from quitting but only rarely shooting an arrow. My archery family reaching out when I needed it, but respecting every time I said I needed to focus on family. I will forever be grateful for that, when I was able to walk onto a range with my bow, just picking up like I hadn’t been away.
When the time came and we lost the amazing person that was my dad, I was away for weeks. My archery family, staying with virtually – calls, messages, hours on FaceTime and someone actually driving many miles to just sit and check that I was ok.
I have been home for almost 4 weeks, and have managed to shoot with some regularity. It’s been in this time that it has hit me dad has gone, he’s not there to tell how things are going with my little business or my shooting, those weekly chats have gone.
What I do know is this, my life is a mess and I am dealing with all that has happened in the last 17 months and the history that has been dragged back into my life. However my safe space that I lost and needed and was given back to me by my fight and the help of those archers who always accepted me, is back. It’s mine, I have claimed it. For sure there are a small number of places I will never return to with a bow, that will never be mentally safe for me again, but that is the price I will pay for what is now my calm space, that with the work that I have put in since June has now become a calmer, mentally safer place than it ever was even before.
Also, whilst I am celebrating the return of this, that I have survived and stand here stronger in my archery than I ever was, if I am careful next weekend I may actually achieve something I never have before so 🤞🏻 because it will, for me, be a reward that going through that very worst of times I made it. It will also be something to show those who have stood by me throughout this, that maybe it was worth it for them too, and to those who told me I have no place, that one strongest voice, well you know what? I do have a place, the rest of my life is in a state of carnage that I am taking day by day but here, on the range and in my sport, I do have a place and you have no right to take it from me and no idea of what you almost cost me.
Thank you to every single person who has given me anything this last 17 months, I can now say that yes, I do know what my sport gives me, and yes I will fight for my right to be on a range as much as I have battled for others in the last 6 years.
Maybe, just maybe, next Saturday evening I can pop back and tell you that I have achieved something that I didn’t know I would finish this season with, if I do it may seem small to some but for me it will be massive. 🤗
The point of this, don’t ever give up because someone tells you that you must, and that if you need it, this archery family is full of the most amazing people who will help you if you allow them to.
My last competition of the outdoor season, pulled on my county shirt before concentrating on family, my squad family never gave up 🥰🏹
Happy pancake day! How do you prefer them – sweet or savoury – I enjoy both and have no issue with having both in one sitting? Hence the weight I need to loose 🫣😂
Lots of planning and catch up in this last week means lots of meetings this coming week, excited to hear some of what will be discussed. Today I have the first of two meetings with coaches who work on my projects and I shall be feeding them pancakes 🥞 they may just be distracted enough to agree to my ideas whilst eating 😉
So I shall need to think about what to feed those that I shall be meeting later in the week.
I said this may contain a trigger warning.
About 10 days ago I was asked to consider talking/writing about my lived experiences with mental health and suicide. I have agreed and have been putting lots of thoughts down on paper, some things I can’t discuss, some I won’t – but that still leaves plenty to share. Why? Only by talking can we continue to work to remove stigma and to make it more freely acceptable to talk about issues that we are facing and this might help others when faced with their own darkest thoughts to reach out to someone.
As I have considered what I should include, I kept coming back to how we never know what someone is going through and often those of us are in a dark place are hiding it for various reasons but mainly to protect ourselves or to protect others.
So – take a look at those two images at the top of the page. Taken about 8 months apart – Both versions of me were facing huge challenges but sharing very little.
The first? – I was sharing information and excited about lots of projects and plans but that version of me felt she had a place, a purpose and some worth. She felt loved and cared for and safe. She felt she mattered and that people could see her.
The second? – I had been to the hospital a couple of days earlier, finding myself in a place where the only answer was to save everyone from having to deal with me by simply no longer being here. I didn’t discuss it with anyone but I had it all planned, a small handful of people were aware of some of the challenges that I was facing – most were the same challenges in both photographs, but my worth, value, feeling of being safe had been removed – dramatically so. I certainly no longer felt I added anything other than burden to anyone’s life. Certainly didn’t feel loved. I will be forever grateful that on that day some sent a message that reached in, they didn’t know, but somehow the universe did.
Both show me laughing, I learned many years ago to hide, and I do! Daily! An incredibly small number of people have enough information now to be able to offer me support, 2 outside the medical profession know everything. I shall continue to hide, but that request to consider sharing my experiences feels important and as I sit writing everything down and looking at what I can’t or won’t share, I do also need to think about who my sharing will impact, namely my children.
But we all see those memes and messages about be careful you never know what a person is going through. Those two photos I think are an excellent example – 8 months apart, both laughing but very very different and both hiding so very much.
So one day at a time and I move forward. Much love to you all and if you are struggling – reach out to someone – I promise you are loved and valued more than you will allow yourself to believe ❤️
If you have been triggered by anything here please visit Mind to find help.
I picked up a bow in the spring of 2018, I had been around ranges for a while since the rest of the house was shooting and had been for a while. I loved the sound of the arrows hitting the boss, still find it soothing and I am happy to sit and read a book listening to that noise.
I had made friends, supported people, joined committees and thought maybe I should give it a whirl. Talked about it with lots of people, I don’t make rash decisions 😂🫣 I have a number of issues that I knew would likely make my shooting time short, but with some effort I might get 2-3 years. So off I went in the winter of 2017 and got a compound bow ready for after I had completed my planned beginners course early 2018. The issues with my back and shoulder pretty much mean compound is the only suitable bow style.
So there we have the first “issue” a group of established archers who protested – a brand new, novice archer with a compound bow, nope cannot be allowed, so dangerous and time limits were suggested from 12 to 24 months that I should have to shoot an alternative bow style, preferably recurve, to prove I was safe before being allowed on a range with a compound bow!!
I was lucky, very lucky, to have a group of archers and committee members support me and once I completed my beginners course, the offer of a coach – brave enough to stand beside the dangerous prospect of a beginner with a compound bow and so began my journey to shoot, not know what was coming!
My coach was starting his (then named) level 2 coaching course and the candidates needed a “Guinea pig” (my term – don’t be offended) to work with and take to their assessment. So we sat with the paperwork where I had to explain the many issues with my body that were going to be an issue with the goals I had set myself. Or rather he sat, I stood as I genuinely expected at some point during the conversation he would tell me it was a non starter and I would be better selling my bow and quitting. Nope, he never flinched and just said, right, let’s learn together!
Without a doubt having someone who never flinches and stands beside you in support is one of the greatest gifts anyone can have.
We worked and I worked hard! My aim was to get to the summer and the club celebration shoot an informal, relaxed environment with a competition and cake! My family however were much more confident in me and advised me that my first competition was booked for April! (I do not advocate booking people on to competition without their permission, my family know me though).
By the end of that first outdoor season I had shot 23 competitions and was shooting for the county – the most amazing and supportive group of archers led by, in my opinion, the best county captain there is. I had fallen in love with a 1440 and enjoyed a Hereford – but these long rounds would see me stand all day, couldn’t allow myself to sit and relax because once I do that the pain hits massively, my relationship with pain, is like everyone’s – personal and individual, but I do not take painkillers because I have watched someone very close to me struggle for many years with addiction to pain medication, I know that there will be a lot of opinion and I am not saying my way is by any means correct, but it’s my way.
I am so very grateful to those who have always supported me, laughed with me on the range whilst watching me struggle with the pain and sat with me and held my hand at the end of the day when, after raffles and medals and everything else is over, I lay on the floor and let my body relax and allow the pain in, and as my muscles spasm and seize up and I cannot move they chat with me and sometimes cry with me.
My coach suggested maybe we look at sitting to shoot, no! No – I saw this as giving in, I don’t give in to my pain, I had never done so. I was 43 and had struggled forever, for me sitting was giving in. So on we went. I had set myself a goal at the beginning of the season – a third class, I came away with a second class – happy? No! I had so many scores that were just a handful of points from a first class! So I saw failure – I had surpassed my goal but felt that I had let myself down! Trust me I know what my counsellor has said about this – my mind is and will likely always be my biggest issue.
Indoor season saw me start county coaching and a change of coach, supported back at club by my first coach. Looking at the issues that impact me both physically and mentally. I never shot less than double sessions indoors but often did the triple, I felt that I needed to keep my body capable of that consistency and volume ready to go back outdoors, a double is a few less so in my mind the triple – a few extra seemed obvious and I was having fun. I hate indoors, makes me feel trapped but I fell in love with the vegas and set myself the goal that in 2025 I will go to Vegas and shoot a Vegas for my 50th birthday.
As summer 2019 approached my body was showing the impact of shooting between 800 – 1000 arrows a week and I started to worry I might not manage that 3 years I had hoped for in the beginning. But consistency started to fail as the pain sometimes kicked in during the day despite my best efforts. My coach found himself away for work and I was a little lost, though he also suggested sitting to shoot! What is wrong with these people!
Another 2nd class at the end of summer 2019, again so close to that first! and the worry that the pain would slowly increase and the chance at the first class would be lost forever. So a new coach? First meeting we discussed all the issues and I warned him friend or not, do not suggest that I sit to shoot! He decided it was time to add to the team, and a call was made to our mutual friend who is also a physio. Sometimes you need an expert!
Within a couple of weeks I had my first session with the physio and lots of tears, the NHS who are brilliant have only ever dealt with me a bit at a time but this was a list of everything, what the implications are and how we might approach them.
As the indoor season progressed the issue of the stool was raised and again I refused, but the subject was raised a few weeks later after a particularly difficult shot and I decided that I would data gather, shooting under different conditions over a period of weeks, set days, stood, sat, with and without an agent. I am an evidence based creature and though we thought we knew what the results would show I needed to prove it. I am incredibly grateful to the brave souls who agented and put up with the tantrums because the idea of sitting was still giving in.
Meeting with the physio and looking at the information and agreeing a way forward. Discussion with him and coach as to what we felt the best way to build a stool was and my county team mates set about creating my stool which I hated with a passion, so I must thank them, though I think in truth they enjoyed having a reason to get the power tools out!
So my mind! What do you do when your mind doesn’t want to do what your body needs? Well the county team gave me a talking to, the physio gave me a talking to and a couple of the wheelchair archers who I have agented for sat me down and asked why I wouldn’t give myself what I gave others? Fair question but I wasn’t really in a place to hear it!
As we approached the end of the 19/20 indoor season I found myself struggling to complete even a single round and had several weeks that saw me withdraw part way through competitions, leaving me crying for very different reasons. My last competition on my feet saw me complete the round barefoot, the judge knows me well and knew what was happening to my mental health and with the support of my county team mates I was given very strict rules that allowed me to shoot and finish the session, something I will forever be grateful for 🤗❤️🏹
One of the “naughtiest” things you can do on a range!
Spring 2020 – covid! Turns out this was great timing for Bert, I named the stool to help bond and reduce the resentment, going out when there was almost no one around to get used to the idea and feel of sitting because once people started seeing me they all had questions and opinions – unless you are supporting someone – hold your tongue!
I have cried on ranges, walked out of spaces and had a torrid time, why? My mind still sees sitting as giving in, people say things and enforce the things in my head! What business is it of anyone’s what a person requires in the way of adaptation to shoot? Consider carefully what questions you might ask and also how you ask them, you will rarely be aware of another person’s struggles.
I have learned that as my stool has been tweaked and made to fit me that a substitute can actually hinder me, grateful to the club that leant me theirs when I left Bert at home and it was a valuable lesson.
Outdoors 21 saw me dig in and fight for my right to shoot, as people tried to tell me that if I needed a shooting stool I had no place on the line! What did that determination give me? I finally, by working my backside off to prove myself to others achieved the elusive first class 🥳
It was also in this summer that I found flight, I cannot put into words how much I love flight, it allows me to stand to shoot as there is a very small number of arrows. More than that I am surrounded by the most supportive group of archers, which was so important whilst having to justify my right to shoot target archery.
Indoors 21/22 and outdoors 22 saw other things happening and whilst fighting to prove I had a place on the line the other things happening in my personal life saw me come incredibly close to quitting – life, archery – everything – my beloved sport was no longer a safe place for me to be.
Without a doubt the volunteers who I share the range with at national and international events for AGB and the flight archers kept me shooting.
I was invited to attend a field course and had an incredibly welcoming group of EFAA members allow me to share their day, but as I joined them on their journey through the trees (I was not shooting) it became apparent that the unpredictable nature of the spasms I get in my shoulder mean I will not be safe on a field course, but I would most definitely recommend trying it.
The end of the season saw me grind out the scores amongst the tears to hold onto my first class, but sadly not all ranges are now safe for me to shoot at from a mental health point of view, but I do have several ranges with shooting buddies scattered across them and of course March 23 will see Integr8Archery Club start shooting on our range.
My indoors 22/23 season has been suspended due to personal matters within the family but I am looking forward to getting back at it, though there are some issues with my back which has deteriorated further in recent months, that will need looking at but I have those 8 days at Dunster to look forward to and certainly provide the motivation I need to get out there, that and the flight season will most definitely be high points of summer 23.
Why have I shared all of this? If you have read my blogs you will certainly know some of it already.
The aims of Integr8Archery CIC and Integr8Archery Club are to make our sport open and accessible for everyone, to welcome anyone who wants to try our sport, which is – in my opinion- one of the most accessible and inclusive sports there is, but also to support those who want to stay but face challenges to be able to continue shooting.
It has been a privilege to help those who have allowed me to, some have remained as Friends of Integr8Archery where we support each other. In person on ranges, or virtually in the devices we carry in our pockets and one click away so if we wobble a message from the range to one of us at home keeps us shooting.
Some of those I am allowed to support come to me because they have heard about me from talking to someone I have helped, some approach me on a range to enquire about Bert the shooting stool, but some have come to me through my role as regional safeguarding officer and for 9 of those it’s about their ongoing wellbeing and care. Please don’t be afraid to ask for help, there will be someone you can trust if you are brave enough to ask and I do not underestimate the courage it can take to reach out.
Without a doubt I am probably proudest of using my experience, physically and mentally to help and support others and I am so pleased that people are beginning to recognise that if you are wearing an Integr8Archery shirt that you belong to a group of supportive, like minded archers and you might be on your own on that shooting line but you carry all of us with you.
Teachers strikes, I am not debating the rights and wrongs of strikes, I rarely air politics publicly – as a result of spending most of my working life employed by central or local government.
My daughter was home on Wednesday as a result of the strikes and we weren’t really sure what to expect for the school club, only 3 out of 15 children attended. Initially seems disappointing however, it gave those children the chance to have some focussed time with their coach to really assess how they were doing. So I am taking it as a positive that we had the chance to have the opportunity to spend focussed time with those 3 children.
The coaches who work with me are amazing and I do not take for granted that their enthusiasm never wavers and they share my ability to sit round a cuppa, discuss any issues arising, bounce ideas to find solutions and then we laugh off those moments where we might have had the urge to scream! They accept my ability to bounce on a sugar high without me actually having had the sugar 😂😂 something many find infuriating but they know that it’s the root of my ability to think outside the box and that allows me to find solutions to the situations that present themselves.
I am weird and quirky and some see that as terrible, but life has taught me the ability to see things differently to most, the experiences that gave me that ability don’t need to be shared but it’s the positive that I take from them and I use it to look at issues that may be a barrier to giving someone the opportunity to try something new. It doesn’t always work but it certainly does regularly and my coaching team embrace my crazy ideas because together we make them work and successfully get bows into hands.
Remember to say thank you to your coach and anyone else who helps you, even in the smallest of ways, to be appreciated is often what gets them back out there on their bad days.
I don’t hide my struggles with mental health, they have been there for many years. They have definitely had good spells and bad spells and since November 2021 there has been an incredible battle for me.
May 2022 was definitely the worst for many, many years.
My focus, with the help of a small number of people is to learn to carry what happened, what caused it and shuffle forward.
The ability to talk is so incredibly important click the link and take a look at the information from Mind, I understand that talking about mental health can be scary but you may make a difference.
A few of the coaches who help make my projects work, I am blessed to have so many who share my goals and I will try and introduce them all over time ❤️🏹
The weather will continue to improve and I will be back out there shooting ❤️🏹
Meetings, meetings and more meetings – I mean, I do like coffee 😉
I am excited for the things that spring looks to be bringing for Integr8Archery and the projects and I cannot wait to start sharing details properly.
This coming week sees some more planning meetings but I will be north for 11 days so you will likely only get virtual contact nothing in person, but I will be available so please do stay in touch.
Tonight I will attending critical bleed training provided and funded by Off the Street. If you are in the local area they are hosting a number of these events follow the link and take a look at their Facebook page to see if there’s one you might be able to attend. I would ask you to take a look at the knife angel – anti violence page on the website and consider signing up to the campaign, if we each do something small, together we can make a massive difference in giving young people an alternative.
February is fast filling up with meetings and events not just around Integr8Archery and the projects but my other roles, such as safeguarding – which I believe is fundamentally one of the most important things that we can all be aware of, please don’t ever ignore something because you think someone else will act.
Thank you to the friends of Integr8Archery who have been keeping in touch to let me know how their shooting is going, I never take for granted that I am allowed in to people’s lives to support them and I do enjoy seeing you all out and about and on the shooting line. See you soon.
Missing my pretty arrows ❤️🏹 but I shall be back on the line soon🙃
I was asked if I am not at home and I am not on the range what I am doing? How can I be committed to my projects?
My initial response was almost rude but I thought about how best to deal with the question, particularly in the face of the last 13 months of things that have been said and emailed or sent on various platforms. In that time I have never once been rude, disrespectful or unkind, to the sender or the people who are ultimately responsible for the issues in broken promises – that I too have been victim of!
My replies have continued to show respect and support to those people and their businesses.
I have repeatedly explained that if you made plans based on promises and ideas given to you by someone we would have been mutually working with, their change of plans and how that impacts you is not my fault and I cannot answer questions that I do not have answers to. You need to contact that person.
So to send me a message today that basically states what I am going through is a suitable punishment for my perceived failure is really not ok, on any level and basic human empathy should prevent such a message even being sent!
Currently my time is spent Friday evening to Monday evening in Derbyshire providing the support that I am giving. I am working my paid employment Monday to Friday with some small tweaks to my shift patterns.
Integr8Archery is still a huge focus, I never stopped.
This week?
Wednesday 7:30 a meeting before work at a school with a willing level 2 coach to help me confirm my thoughts before we both started our paid employment at 9:30. Lunch time meeting to discuss ideas and send emails. Evening sending and replying to emails, arranging more meetings.
Thursday – 5:30 to 7:30 & 22:00 to 23:45 emails, letters, plans being drawn up and sent out.
Friday 2 telephone calls at 19:00 – 19:30
Saturday 7:00 blog update and 20:15 emails
Sunday 8:00 to 9:30 & 20:30 to 21:45 emails and telephone calls.
Monday 19:45 to 21:25 emails, messaging and telephone calls.
Tuesday 5:30 to 7:00 emails, 16:45 to 17:30 meeting with activity partnership, 19:00 to 20:00 meeting with club secretary re membership, sport80 and some future planning.
From my point of view it doesn’t look too bad for someone who isn’t interested, focused or can’t be seen!
I continue to be grateful to those who support me, daily help with projects and keeping me in the loop but I can trust their management whilst I do what my family needs.
I wish you all a safe week and all the best as I continue to do what I can for my business, club and projects.
Please respect my time to deal with the practicalities of loosing an important person in my life and the lives of many others.
I suspect that thank you is going to be a big theme over the coming weeks. If you know me and read my blogs, it’s pretty much a constant anyhow, but at the moment my time is restricted and I do not take for granted that people are joining me for meetings at 7:30 or 21:00! Coaches bringing their lunches to meet me in my lunch hour and grab that time to make plans as they support me whilst I am not around, the flexibility that I have always shown to fit in around others is being offered to me with no boundaries at the moment and it is allowing us all to be productive and continue to move projects forwards.
I am missing shooting and I am missing seeing archers in person, so when I get back at it in person in full which I think is likely going to be March, prepare yourselves because this hugger will be catching up on missed hugs 🙃🤗
I am currently working on moving 3 of the schools forward with big plans for each as the children are driving their aims and I am proud that they are enjoying the sport but that they are also setting their own goals, some are going big with their long term aims and some I suspect, may be coaches of the future as they have taken on mentoring others and creating their own little videos on shooting techniques and form, to help new students who are coming on board.
We are back on track with planning the postponed instructors course and some other grassroots groups looking to start their archery sessions, I never get bored of the variety that our sport allows us to offer to anyone who approaches us.
Enjoy your sport and yes, please do continue to let me know how you are getting on, it actually gives me something to focus on and why I am working on all of this, so no, you are definitely not intruding by messaging me 😊❤️🏹
Thank you to everyone who has reached out or let me move meetings and things. Sport is made up of some amazing people and this week has proven that both within my own sport and others who I collaborate with, the very best of sporting attributes have played a part in getting me through most days.
Obviously not being at home means I have not shown up in person for anything but for the things I could not delay the lessons we learned in Covid regarding virtual communication have proven priceless.
I will not bore you with details of arrangements being made but will celebrate them at later dates when things start to happen. However, thank you to Maggie, Duncan and Chris for getting on with schools and arranging things between them. It has been incredibly helpful to just have that lifted from me.
So, the only real thing to shout about was today’s radio appearance!
BBC radio Northampton had approached the local activity partnership, Northamptonshire Sports, to be linked with people in local sports to take part in the afternoon show hosted by Tim Wheeler and includes a music quiz and I was somewhat anxious about representing the sport and failing to get anything right 😱🫣 as a heavy rock / metal fan I was especially scared of getting a bunch of pop song related questions, so I chose 70’s in the hope there may me some glam rock or those quirky hits!
My aim was to promote the sport and it’s inclusivity and hopefully I didn’t embarrass the sport or the county as I was representing NCAS.
Have a listen for yourself and judge with kindness please, you can hear me from 15:44 to 15:58.
