Health

week 72 – measuring success can be so many things

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message, Health, weekly update

Some time ago whilst collaborating I had a discussion about how we measure success, it’s not all about medals and bling and we have to pay particular attention to the individual, their challenges, goals and achievements. I was asked to write something for the website that was being set up to explain as it was believed that for many, it is about ranking and bling.

For me it can be many things. My PTSD creates serious anxiety and agoraphobia, daily I have to build up the strength to step over the threshold to take me outside the house. Every day! It’s one of the reasons that I like routine and structure but also to be busy.

If we go back, before the world of shopping online for everything, the longest I stayed in the house and didn’t leave was almost 10 months. Luckily my GP at the time gave me the support I needed to learn techniques to help me. There are still days though when my head is busy with overthinking and I slip and the work to get me outside is huge.

This weekend I had plans, all in my calendar, get home from work Saturday morning, off to LBAC to drop off my bow and cams and shoot a little, over to AOR to shoot a Portsmouth scored round and get everything ready for Sunday – my first indoor competition of the 23/24 season.

However an email Friday pushed all my anxiety to the front, off to work I went, but Saturday, once home I didn’t want to leave, not a surprise and so began the battle. Eventually I did leave the house and took my bow and cams to LBAC, I deliberately didn’t take my other bow so no shooting. A catch up with friends helped my mood a little but the anxiety and the delays created meant no scored round. Sunday morning? Seriously struggled to leave the house, a million excuses to stay at home, safe. However Rose was going to this competition and there would be friends there, so I accepted the offer of a lift from Paul and dragged myself there. No expectations as I had failed to do the prep this week and I am still dealing with the decision over the future of my release aid.

My PB for a Portsmouth is 548 – scored several times, so close to that next elusive Portsmouth badge of 550! I had sat down Wednesday to consider a realistic expectation and a challenging goal. So I set up at Green Dragon Bowmen with 2 scores in mind – 450 and 500.

My boss buddy was welcoming and we had a friendly session chatting about the sport and our experiences. I saw friends I expected to see, made new ones and saw some friends I hadn’t seen for a while who I hadn’t expected to see. I enjoyed the session and was incredibly happy to finish with a score of 528, had I not had a miss with a shoulder spasm I would have been close to my PB! So much better than I had hoped for.

However, the other unexpected gains from the day were conversations, about disability and adaptations or considerations that can improve their experiences. People that I didn’t know asking about Integr8Archery and the work that I do because they have seen references to me on social media, lots of positive feedback based on people’s thoughts on the projects. So by the time we left my head space was significantly improved over the last couple of days and I had some thoughts about how to improve things in regards to my release.

Top off the day with news that I had managed gold, unexpected but welcome news and a raffle prize! Perfect end to a day that starting with me almost not leaving the house 😱 The medal isn’t the measure of my day, it’s the ability I had to follow my process despite having to keep coming down during the shot routine as I repeatedly lost sensation in my fingers. Careful and controlled process got me that score. I am lucky to have friends who support me and who help me answer questions and find solutions as I continue my journey to shoot for as long as I can ❤️🏹

Busy week ahead with planning meetings and some training but I will update on those at the weekend. Take care of yourselves 🤗

There is nothing more important than safeguarding!!

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message, Health

In all areas of my life I think safeguarding is the most important aspect. From parenting, to residential youth worker and in sports. Some times this can be big things, often it’s little things. Some times it’s reacting to huge issues others it’s supporting wellbeing and welfare. Some times an ear and a coffee, sign posting or contacting other agencies.

It’s an area that I have been actively involved in since I started working in the public sector 30 years ago. I undertake the mandatory training and renewals but I also do other additional training, things that I believe can teach me to be better for those who need me in any of the areas of my life.

Those closest to me know the biggest piece of work here is something I have been doing for over 3 years, it’s massive and involves a lot of people, it grows almost constantly, people being pointed towards me to add context to what I have, years and years of experiences and issues told to me. Some just do that, they want nothing more than to feel someone has listened when previously they believed no one has. Others need ongoing support and the most important part of this is ensuring that there is the right professional help and I am then just part of their team of support. Mental health professionals are key but my ears are there to help. Not just those who come to me to explain their story but their families who often feel they should have seen something that they missed, and now feel guilt.

I can understand this as I carry it too, I missed what was happening to my child whilst I was busy supporting others.

There are days this is so incredibly draining and I am left emotionally and mentally exhausted and I am grateful to another safeguarding officer who sits and let’s me debrief with them, but also others who support me, they don’t need me to share details but they know I give and give to support these people, to be the person who hasn’t walked away.

Why might others have turned away? It’s hard, the massive issue needs so much work from so many people to change what’s happening. That level of energy and fight is hard to carry every day. I have considered walking away more than once, but I am struck with the fact that if I do, I am another person who has let these people down and who else will fight?

I have sought advice from the right places, agencies etc and I am at my next step, I don’t have many left and the last big step is one I hope I do not have to take because I hope that it can be dealt with without me taking that step.

Imagine as a safeguarding officer declaring yourself as vulnerable, on 3 separate occasions in 18 months, and not receiving the support or care for your well-being but yet I am expected to reassure those who have come to me that the support is there to be found?

I have repeatedly advised that my PTSD, anxiety and my ability to seriously overthink any situation means that we have to try, where we can, to manage the available opportunities for me to reach out when information is dumped on me.

Yesterday was another example of how the repeated lack of attention to this can impact me on a massive scale. A situation I am not aware of seeing a letter emailed to me at the end of business on a Friday. I opened it with no idea of what I would find as I am waiting on contact from that very team regarding my latest communication on this massive issue I am dealing with. Yet when I opened it, it hit me like a brick wall, because it was something new that sent me spinning, that required a response, but that saw me have no ability to reach out with my questions.

I sent my response, I had to, in an attempt to stop that spiralling that I have repeatedly asked for support to prevent. Had I been able to reach out and ask a couple of questions I could have dealt with it smoothly and calmly, but that was denied me. So now I wait, with just the serious overthinking to keep me company for however long this will take.

Thank you to those who have stepped in and supported me in the last 20 hours, never do I take you for granted, but I am certainly stronger because I have you here. It’s also shown me that whilst I am vulnerable I am, most definitely, stronger than October 21-October 22.

Take care of yourselves please.

Week 67 – busy making plans into 2024 but not forgetting important dates happening now ❤️🏹

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message, Health, News, weekly update

Lots of planning bubbling away for existing and new groups and I love sitting with people who don’t realise how adaptive our sport is and how easy it is to make it work in so many ways.

School groups are nicely back and settled and I am hearing lots of positive things so that’s all great stuff.

October is Black History Month and this year the focus is ‘Saluting Our Sisters’.

At the age of 13 my English teacher handed me a copy of I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou and I became absorbed in the book and the conversations and discussions we would have about what I was reading. I recall being amazed that whilst my teacher gave me this and we delved deep into it, at the time it was released many schools set out to ban it from their shelves. I thank my teacher for sharing the book and I have read all of her others and her poetry is one of several books that I often pick up to read when I have a window of time to loose myself and I have favourite quotes of hers that I scatter through things.

“If you’re always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” Maya Angelou

Today is also World Mental Health Day. I make no secret of my battles with mental health, I am grateful for the peace my sport can help me find, the calm, quiet time on the range is a blessing. Please do look after yourself you are important and if you need support ask for it. Mind is a great starting place and there are other organisations out there some I know better than others.

I have a rest day today and I have lots of things to do but I am going to take my coffee and my book and sit in nature for an hour, I deserve the time to breathe. Looking after yourself is not a luxury.

On Friday as I dashed about at the beginning of a long weekend of work with 56 hours on house I was made aware of .International Smile Day. Harvey Ball created the smiley face in 1963 but became concerned with the commercialisation of his symbol and created this day to remind us all that the smiley face knows no politics, no geography and no religion.  Harvey’s idea was that for at least one day each year, neither should we.  He declared that the first Friday in October each year would henceforth be World Smile Day® and the first was held in 1999. The idea is that a small act of kindness can make someone smile. If you know me you know that this is something I truly believe and try to achieve daily.

As many of you know October is breast cancer awareness month and wear it pink will be on 20th October. I am grateful for the care I received from the unit at Kettering General Hospital several years ago. Please take the time to check your health and remember men can and do also suffer from this.

The other subject I feel it’s important to highlight and you are aware I do is October is also used to highlight Domestic Violence an area that I have worked in for many many years and I enjoy the time I have been allowed to use Integr8Archery to show how sport can help with mental health, confidence and to allow new friendships to be formed in a safe and supportive environment by working with some amazing people in refuge.

Have a good week and stay well and safe 🥰

Wow what a weekend that was ❤️🏹

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message, Event recap, Health, Numbers and stats

In March I sat down and set my goals for the outdoor season.


Taking into account that 2018, 2019, 2020 I got a second class, 2021 finally my first and after an awful, torrid 2022 ground out another first. Knowing that where I had been in 2021 was gone for me, but the terror of 2022 was being dealt with and that mentally I had safe spaces I set those goals and looked forward to the summer.

One that would see me enjoy the whole week at Dunster and volunteer for AGB along with starting a new, amazing job.

Knowing that I hadn’t barely had an indoor season as I devoted my time to family and particularly dad’s last weeks but had, in those few occasions I had picked up my bow achieved a C class – my best ever indoor classification. I signed up to AGB’s #great arrow count and set off to see what summer would bring.

Well initially I achieved 4 personal bests in different rounds and 2 x bowman 3rd class scores – decent start I felt.

Then my shoulder started to grumble and over the next few weeks that grumbling got louder. The issue with my hands but especially my right hand, that I had been having for 6/7 years and had been gradually deteriorating suddenly, rapidly becoming a huge issue. So my shooting fell apart, no matter as I set about asking questions and looking for answers whilst carrying on, scores didn’t matter at all, smiling with a bow in my hand certainly did! Then of course we have those vocal folks who believe their opinion matters! That my scores are so appalling I have no right to be on the shooting line! Well huge raspberries to you and your opinions because your knowledge of me is zilch so you don’t have an opinion that I need!

So the great arrow count is done – 26 weeks and I have shot 15,669 arrows. Not as many as I planned. But 60% of my aim back in March. A combination of 19 scored rounds or competitions in target archery, approximately 2/3 of what I had intended. None of the 3 flight completions I had intended to attend. A combination of the new job, shifts, health and family commitments and the responsibilities I now have with dad gone impacting these aims.

Plans made with work and family to help me resolve the time issues and of course huge plans to work my backside off over indoors with bow, new release aid and pretty much a new way of shooting for me to continue to be on the shooting line and get ready for outdoors 2024.

Desperately disappointed in my classification but also happy to still be shooting at all. There has been a constant theme since I signed up to my beginners course in 2018 that I should not bother and I should quit. Thankfully I am possibly one of the most stubborn and bloody minded folks or I would certainly have quit on many occasions!

So I have one more outdoor competition in a few weeks and then indoors it will be to learn my new way forward! Planning ahead for what the possible surgeries might mean and two further steps in case the issues with my hand/arm/elbow deteriorate further and further again. Like me the county captain is a planner! 🙃

I thoroughly enjoyed this weekend – scored round stood up on Saturday and shooting the county champs Sunday morning followed by agenting Sunday afternoon, all done with amazing company 🥰

Thank you as ever to those who support me in continuing to hold my bow – forever grateful 🤗

Blown away by the words of friendship from three different people in 3 different places this weekend – always strange to hear positive thoughts about me and how I am perceived by people who have opinions I value and they had made those thoughts public!

A photo sent to me Sunday evening that, for me, truly showed me how far I have come from 16th May 2022 – wow 🤩

Lots coming this weekend and I will explain as we go through the week, for now, I am off to bed 😴🫣

Week 64 already?!

Helen Sharpe Health, weekly update

So I am a week away from a quarter of the way through year 2 of Integr8Archery! I still can’t believe I have a CIC and a club! I do however love how it’s all tied down tight on paper with the government so that anyone who does any work with me can’t take advantage of the CIC.

So what’s the last week been? Calls, webinars, teams, zoom, webex …… attending the inaugural conference hosted by the Muslim Sports Foundation. Many interesting speakers and some great networking as well as catching up with friends who were also in attendance.

Testing options and making decisions regarding how to proceed with my own archery. Those made and the next 4 weeks planned to complete my outdoor season for 2023 and a plan created for the serious work that will begin to learn to shoot again through the indoor season. Certainly will not be bored! There will be no time for that!

October will see my new agreed rota start for the day job, adjusting to allow family and shooting time and remove some of the stresses of trying to fit those in whilst doing a job I love. It all become a little mangled and messy over the summer so this should be a great step forward to let me have control of time back.

Lots to do for Integr8Archery with new groups and sessions being requested and lots of great things in the pipeline.

I love getting updates from groups and individuals who keep me up to date with what is happening and I am loving the data for this next quarter as much as I did those first 12 months. It is a privilege to be allowed to bring my sport to people and work with those already in it, thank you.

This weekend will see Chris undertake her assessment to become a sessions coach, I am so very proud of her, having been an instructor for years, joining the education project in September 2021 when she answered the email Archery GB sent out for me to the local instructors, she has become an important part of the team who supports me, continuing to work with schools and wanting to further her knowledge. Thank you too goes to Northamptonshire Sport for funding to help with the cost of her course.

Today is Youth Mental Heath Day – check out Young Minds or Stem for help with support. This years theme is #bebrave which can mean many things to many people. Take a look at The Children’s Society page to look at the latest good childhood report.

With this in mind it was extremely good to receive the email from The NSPCC to announce that the online safety bill has been passed. It’s been a long road but absolutely worth the efforts of anyone who’s supported it.

Have a good week and take care of yourselves please ❤️🏹

Busy, busy, busy – but some fun amongst the challenges too

Helen Sharpe Health, Quick catch up

Two weeks ago I sat on the line in my county shirt knowing that my hand was going to prevent much of anything, but I was going to have fun with my county squad mates.

I have had issues with the nerves for around 6 years and it’s impacted my fingers on and off. 2023 has seen it really ramp up and loss of sensation and dropping things is now incredibly common – I have broken some things that are irreplaceable this summer 😞 From an archery point of view shooting when your fingers can’t feel your release aid is a little tricky and constantly picking the release aid up off the floor is tedious!

So I gave in and visited the medical centre, nerve damage in my wrist, hand and the ulnar nerve – impacting my thumb, three fingers and hand. A lump of escaped fluid from the wrist that has settled above the nerves in my lump – not helping!

I am waiting on an appointment for nerve testing to then allow us to make a decision going forward, a whole bunch of things have been suggested in that appointment including some surgeries. In the meantime the wrist brace, those who know me well know how well I take to these things, like the shooting stool – I see everything as giving in, not aiding me to continue – I hoped to prove I didn’t need it, but it was clear, very clear that it does help, it makes a difference. I have to take it off for a number of hours and have to think about when to time that but when it’s on I carry things, when it’s off I drop them 🙃 it works then!

Having to wear the wrist brace means I have to think about release aids. Yesterday saw me on the field and trying options, yes the photos aren’t pretty – you can’t adjust the bow for each when you are trying multiple and flipping back and forth asking questions! So judge if you like but I am not asking for hints and tips on draw – thank you for the advice, social media is awesome for armchair coaching!

Easy option is stay with what I use and tie it to me, but we have to consider the long term, which lends itself to the wrist release. Absolutely will mean working my backside off over the indoor season but I started to flesh out my plan and create a little team to support me. Good old pen and paper and a table – whoop all those hours at school wondering when I would ever do this as an adult – even played with the glittery highlighters 😂

So my hand it would appear going to be wearing the wrist brace and a wrist release, well at least it’s going to help keep it warm over the winter – right? Silver lining right there 😂🫣

What else have I been doing? Conference with the Muslim Sport Foundation and meetings with Sport England and a couple of new community groups, getting back to what’s important – introducing people to our sport, people who think they are not welcome to pick up a bow. More to come on these over the next few weeks.

Today I shall be at DISC, I love this group they are so welcoming and we smile – a lot. Then off to Towcester to shoot with friends and just practise using my release aid whilst it’s tied to me as I have a couple more shoots planned and I am not playing with the wrist release in competition.

Have a good Sunday ❤️🏹 Can’t wait to hear how Rose and the Northamptonshire Junior Team got on today.

Not going to lie, the decision to use my middle finger for the wrist release and not my index finger, does feel poetic 😜

Also, my hair is growing back! Who knows for how long but last weekend at work didn’t see it all jump off my head so maybe it will stay a little while, notice the white hair is always the first to grow back 🫣😂

Quick update – you should see less disruption, down for a while but definitely not out – thank you for your support ❤️🏹

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message, Health, Quick catch up

I had huge plans for the summer and it simply hasn’t quite worked out, I am picking everything back up and the effects of that should be seen in the next few weeks. Thank you for your patience, most of you know that Integr8Archery is just me, sometimes the size of it all is a little overwhelming but I love it all the same. A lot of the projects simmer down over the summer so logically it was always going to carry the risk that if I relaxed the issues I have personally would bubble up and they did.

Nothing serious – she says 😂😂 but combined have a large impact on my day to day.

My head space – having had to go back to counselling last year that was doing ok but we had plateaued and needed something new, unsure of what that should look like I took a step in to The Frank Bruno Foundation and the foundations for my next steps have been laid and a new phase to my journey has begun.

All of those joints, if you know me you know I describe my body as second hand and the first person crashed it 😂 few joints aren’t impacted.

When I started shooting in 2018 I was fairly sure I would have two years and set about cramming as much as possible into that. With the help of Ben, as it started to breakdown we have managed to keep it going and it does throw new things regularly and we tweak and move on. I am not going to lie, the tweaking gets harder but I have my bucket list for 2025 and I really want to shoot until the end of that year and tick those boxes!

There are no surprises – my lower back, my shoulder and my hand have really had a party in 2023!!! Scores are poor but the last few weeks Martin and I have started to make some changes that seem to be the start of making it all better, I have no doubt more tweaks will be needed and I am grateful to have someone who will help me.

My hands? Grip has been a problem for many years – often drop things, glasses enter our house at great risk 😬 This year has seen the issues increase significantly and it’s not uncommon to see me dropping things 🤷‍♀️ this week a couple of new things have happened and it will be a trip to the doctor Wednesday – maybe there are clues because what has always been invisible now has a very visible indicator!

My blood, it was struggling and certainly into the beginning of summer was hard to manage, it’s not amazing but I have worked hard and it’s stabilised at fair to good 🤞🏻 so if I build on this then hopefully it can only get better, the next set of blood tests will confirm or deny if I have achieved what I think I have.

Just for a little added extra the tree bite has kicked off this summer, maybe with everything else I have just been walking differently and so antagonised it, who knows but it’s always interesting to suddenly have reduced sensation in my foot!

Anyhow, the point is I needed to focus on this stuff, the work isn’t done, it’s never going to be, but I can get my head down and crack on with all things archery, so expect it all to pick up in the next week or so. Helped also by my day job sitting down and helping me find a way to stay in a job I love but saw me loose me for a while whilst I gave everything to them and my family and left nothing in the tank for me – fantastic as I do love working in that crazy house 🙃

Thank you especially to Clair, Ben, Pip, Dan, Will, Martin, AOR and of course Jack and Rose ❤️🏹

Today I am off to shoot some arrows and eat burgers at AOR before heading up to Derbyshire to spend time with mum and shoot for the county tomorrow. The love the county squad show me is never taken for granted 🤗

To my flight family, I shall really miss you tomorrow and I am sad that I have missed out on my flight season this year. Love you all and I have already set about planning to see you all next year 🥰🏹

Have a great weekend and never underestimate what you all give me, on the tough days you keep me going thank you 😊

Week 57 – be kind, always but also, be mindful

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message, Health, weekly update

I do not hide my battles with mental health, I don’t share everything with everybody either. It’s important to me that I don’t hide it, I have nothing to be ashamed of! By sharing, occasionally I am told it helps others too.

That said, sure I am stronger than I was last year but to be considered strong I still have a long way to go and I work at it daily. It doesn’t take much to make me wobble.

Last year was nearly my end, I survived, I didn’t hide, I know from past experiences that hiding gets easier and easier with every day that passes until months have passed and I haven’t left the house so this was important.

When you volunteer at big events you do a lot of hours, you are exhausted and the longer you are away from home – it all adds up and takes you to the edge. So last year I volunteered at the European Youth Championships – 10 days. This was just 3 months after the day that I survived so fragile, vulnerable – lots of words could be used to describe me.

On the Wednesday I was exhausted, shattered and being pushed from pillar to post by demands from 3 people, demands that clashed with each other and I found myself in a place I knew I shouldn’t be, doing something that I shouldn’t be, I had tried to avoid exactly that all morning but the people making the demands were not listening.

I found myself in a space distraught and wanting, needing to go home, trying to explain. At the same time knowing if I quit and left I would likely not make it half way home before being desperately upset and disappointed in myself and wishing I had stayed.

Stay I did, sorted myself out and got on with it! Not pretty and certainly in part caused by how immensely fragile I was.

Fast forward 48 weeks, I am stronger but not yet strong. Still recovering from what happened 16/5/22.

I know my journey, that took me from 1996 to 2021, the destruction from November 2021 to May 2022. The path to August 2022 and onto July 2023. Who I share what with? That’s up to me.

Imagine though, battling your own fight and having someone say, well it must have been a good day, Helen didn’t cry today! Certainly nothing like she did last August! For the next week, similar comments every day, well it’s better than last year when you broke down and cried and had to be taken off the field!

Now I don’t believe the person who said it meant harm. It’s bemusing to me as we have spent time on the range together since last August and it’s not been mentioned so why now and why so often? I replied several times, in ways that I believe should have ended the comments, but it didn’t stop. So I tried to ignore it. Thing is, now more people know about that day and in a way that only makes me look weak. Giving other ways to dig at me. In fact someone else who didn’t even know me last August and was nowhere near the range started to make comments in reference to it!

I have thought long and hard for the last 2 weeks, but it’s not ok. What happened happened, and it doesn’t matter why. If you saw me distressed last year and now I appear stronger why on earth would you use it to behave in such a way!

Be kind – always but also, be mindful because you know little to nothing of what another person has lived through – and now your behaviour has set me back, but also given another person something to use against me.

So this last week, I have had meetings, lots of them, in person and via the web, thank goodness for the internet and technology.
Activity partnerships and community groups reviewing existing projects and planning next steps and what I can help achieve, some exciting things there.

Activity partnerships, new groups and new projects, announcements to come over the next few weeks.

3 archers deciding to leave or adapt to remain within the sport who have allowed me in to help with their decisions and to find them the correct support, hopeful that they can stay in our sport that they love.

Last night (or was that this morning) my first collaboration meeting with a project across three cities over the water. Massively scaled down from what the plans had been last year when I had been building work for someone else but the people involved still wanted what I had always going to give and though they have offered me something huge I have, at this time kept it small to allow me to step forward slowly. Exciting though that my work here over the last 5-6 years within local and wider communities sees me invited into a project that covers communities in the UK and the USA.

So as my meeting was at 2am here I am now off to bed as I have work tomorrow!

Take care of yourself and for me, this week sees the beginning of my flight season 🥳

Lots of data gathering this week for me ❤️🏹 – Thank you Dunster for everything so far ….

Helen Sharpe Event recap, Health

When I started shooting I believed that I had 2 years before this broken body would crumble and stop. With the help and support of a number of people I have reached 5 and a half years. It’s been a rollercoaster, the physical pain, moving to seated, the emotional trauma. Shooting for the county is a privilege and no, I am never aiming to “just make up the numbers” as has been suggested by one coach.

The last 18 months have been about fighting to remain on the range mentally and emotionally, people literally holding me together as I breakdown and cry on ranges, spiralling to darker and darker places. In my very darkest place friends decided I needed to see the sport differently, they knew a massive amount of the damage to my relationship with the range was created by a coach and the NGB amongst others.

I was taken to a field course and welcomed with incredible warmth and a huge discussion about why many found themselves there and what a different type of archery and a different governing body had given them and what they might offer me.

However I cannot shoot field, there is a risk with the shoulder spasms that a loose arrow may hit an archer by the nature of the lay out, it’s simply not a risk in target. Plus there is my love of flight archery.

I was also taken to longbow day at Dunster on the 15th June. I had barely survived the 16th May and so was vulnerable on that range but I was met with warmth and laughter and the feeling that I would be welcome here. So Clair and I decided to come this year and spend 10 days taking part in the whole thing, from the county championships, the week’s festival and ending on the regional championships.

I had 13 months to get myself in shape mentally and physically to be here and have fun, something that had been taken away from me.

A week later we had the devastating news about dad and the training on the shooting side took a step back, the focus was on him, rightly so and never regretted.

I did ground out that second seasons first classification, hard work pulled it off and as I had spent a huge amount of time with unclassified or 3rd class scores I was again proud to achieve it. It was evidence that I was pulling it back together. Also some shiny bling again from my second year at the national flight championships and my new found love of the footbow. What is not to love about a bow that sees every single arrow shot make me laugh like a drain! My first raptor badge, Merlin earned too.

Winter shooting was cancelled for me as it simply wasn’t to be a priority but with the small amount of shooting I managed around the important time spent with dad and the few shoots I managed after he left us and the time spent with mum, I managed to end the season with a C classification, I had only ever achieved a D previously.

The work I was doing on my mental health was hard, very hard but it was gaining ground.

Outdoor 23 has been a very mixed bag, hard work and some PB’s but also some terrible days and terrible scores. My body is again breaking down.

July arrives and it’s Dunster time, here I am a week in, my scores are horrible but I am having an amazing time. The plan had been shooting 7 of the 8 days, target on the field day and volunteer on the clout day. I would be standing on the longbow day as the practicalities of the stool on a 2 way shoot were likely to create me more issues than resolve.

I wanted to shoot longbow day as a nod to last year, my first visit that gave me purpose in my sport when I had lost all hope in believing I had a place on the range.

My little longbow has never been shot at a target as she is for flight and I have her as I love watching the arrows float, you don’t get to see the arrows with compound! She brought me home a bronze medal at flight last year but I didn’t expect much of her at Dunster as it was unlikely the arrows would even reach the boss! But she made me proud as the arrows constantly fell around the feet of the boss, they were making the distance! I learned what petticoats are – we don’t get those in compound and I hit a 3! Shortly after starting the second distance it was clear I had to make a decision about the pain and I withdrew, it was a fantastic day regardless and well worth the effort.

Friday saw equipment failure and make up arrows, another new experience at Dunster 😂😂

More importantly, I have constantly had issues this week with my shoulder and back, as expected, I had a little cry on Tuesday as I pondered if this was nearing the end of my shooting but I was sensible and contacted Ben and Martin to arrange some time when I get home to look at what is happening, what we might do and what the future might hold. This equipment failure suggested it may not all be about me as there could have been this piece failing over the course of the week!

So here I am, heading into a double Hereford to end the week, I am going to enjoy it with no expectations and just see what happens. Scores are irrelevant this week. Dunster has been about something so very much more than where my arrows land. It’s been a celebration that I made it, that last May didn’t take me and that my sport may still have space for me for just a little longer. I do still have 2 important goals for 2025! For now Dunster 2024 is on my calendar to return and celebrate me, my shooting and it’s 150th meeting! 🥳

Dunster – promised as part of my healing, let’s do this!

Helen Sharpe Health, Quick catch up

There are things we hear talked about on archery ranges, the Vegas in Vegas (set 5 years ago as part of my 50th birthday celebration and the plan is indeed to do that in spring 2025 and maybe also the flight on the salt plains that summer).

One of the things people talk of is Dunster – 8 days of shooting, covering a variety and range of competitions over the week.

Last June 3 friends arranged that the 4 of us would spend the day together on the Wednesday – longbow day. Just to watch (though I soon found us a job to volunteer for 🫣😂). I was in a bad place, seriously hurting and trying to find my way after giving up on life and everything else in May. I was living day by day in fact I was taking it one step at a time – literally breaking time into 15 minute blocks to get through every day.

By the time the day was over we had made a plan, if I worked hard and could pull it all together I would join my friend and we would come to Dunster for 8 days. So I sat down and made my goals, physical and mental health, a plan for 13 months.

It turned out someone important in my life left me that day, though I wasn’t to know that as they didn’t tell me, in fact that day they said “call me tomorrow” and they never took another call or spoke with me again.

A week later dad got his diagnosis and focus changed for everyone.

The plan for working on my archery didn’t go to plan as I made time priorities about dad and as a result not shooting, though I did occasionally manage to get to a range and the focus was helping me feel safe, stopping the crying and the throwing up.

Therapy sessions continued and gradually reduced in number and I worked hard on everything.

So here I am now, 13 months after setting that goal to life long enough, find a way to make living something I wanted to do. I can stand on a range and not cry, I can arrive and leave smiling, there’s the occasional wobble but I have support. It takes a village for sure.

I have tested the boundaries and worked on how to manage my pain for endurance because 8 days is going to need endurance! Last weekend saw this reach its goal of the double Windsor on the Sunday.

My scores have not been a priority, I do not have a coach, likely never will again. I do however have coaches who are friends and will sit and hear me out and spend time with me listening to my theories and helping me. I have a county captain who has been awesome and spent time on the range being my spare set of hands and eyes.

Here I sit in our little holiday home having been out and explored with my friend, visiting places I haven’t been for a while, exploring galleries and shops and chatting with people. We popped along to Dunster and made ourselves useful for a while and I am excited for what this week brings. New experiences, proof of how I am healing and laughter – lots of laughter, may be a few tears but hopefully not many.

I will be updating how Dunster is going and this week the focus is about me, something I have never done. It’s new for us all. I will occasionally sit down and answer emails etc but don’t be expecting me to respond swiftly as I usually do. This is my week and I make no apologies for it. I have worked hard to get here and I am going to enjoy it.

See you all soon, take care of you and by all means let me know how you are doing.