I am often asked about why I talk about my mental health, why don’t I hide it? Erm, because it shouldn’t be hidden!
Easter Sunday 2020 I decided, as I sat drinking my early morning coffee in the garden, to cut down a couple of trees and got on with it, was making good time proceeding well, and boom – found myself impaled on a tree stump! Scared people who cared whilst we waited to find out the short and long term answers. Thanks to an amazing surgical team seeing me in A&E and then going on to see me every second day for a couple of weeks, I can say I have still got my leg, it’s got a scar and a dent and I have covered it in an ocean where every creature represents and is named by an archer.
But as I went through that process and even now when it’s not happy, people want to know, how am I getting on, can they help?
I have joint and pain related issues, my asthma that’s not happy, my damaged ear with it’s resulting hearing impairment and now the blood disorder. (Yes! I know I am physically a wreck 🤷♀️). All of these things, people help or ask about.
But my mind, well – it would be easier if you hid it, kept it to yourself, it’s uncomfortable.
It’s still Health!!! So Why?
I am not going to hide it, and if me talking about it helps someone else with their issues then I am glad I shared.
This last year has been horrific, I don’t need to share why, but I can say when I need to – today I need a bit of extra care, or a little extra support or can you just be a little more mindful?
I have been blessed to have a small group of amazing people who have supported me more than I could have imagined and I am grateful. I have cried – a lot! You find it annoying? Not anywhere near as much as I do!!
My counsellor and I have worked harder in 2022 than we have had to in years. We are kind of at an impasse now, there are so many answers I need that are being withheld and telling me to get over IT when you really do not understand what IT is, doesn’t help, but I will likely nod and humour you and just remove you from my circle because then you don’t have to deal with it, because that’s what you are saying, you don’t want to or it’s uncomfortable to.
Those amazing people who stay by my side, they admit, like me that we don’t have the answers, that’s ok, they are however willing to sit with me in my dark, and because of them and my children I am still here when there have been serious spells this year when I almost wasn’t, because I believed (and sometimes still do) that might have been the better answer for us all.
I am not asking you to take it all on, I don’t need everyone to know the whole story.
What I am asking you is why if I am physically unwell is that ok to discuss but when my mind wobbles I am asked to hide it?
Stigmas around mental health are tough to break, but I will not live with them or hide because of them.
There is a lot of information out there and this is important to know where to look because most people have issues at some point in their lives and need a little support, but for some people it’s a daily battle – ongoing.
Please check out Mind if you want to learn a little.
So relieved when I walked onto this range in June that it was one where I do still feel safe, never shot on it, but certainly would have walked away from my sport if this had not been safe for my well-being. ❤️🏹