End of week blog is late? Yes, yes it is. 2024 will see me relax a little a little about some of my commitments. I will do an end of week blog, these are important to me and I know some enjoy reading them, when I want to there will be a mid week blog. I will not stress and push myself for dates and times to do things that timings are not crucial for. I work full time on shifts and sometimes, for a variety of reasons find myself picking up extra shifts or having to stay late. These are important, my welfare, my familyās and the young people I work with, if I blog drops a little late, the world will continue to turn.
Yesterday was the first anniversary of dadās death, I took the day for me and I am blessed that my children stepped in to care for me and spend time with me, resulting in good head space and much laughter.
I have been asked what my resolutions are for 2024, I donāt make resolutions. I have looked at the continued progress of looking after myself and how I can best achieve that. Lots of hospital appointments coming up in the next few weeks, answers will hopefully help, I have long since held the opinion that knowledge is power, knowing the answers gives me the power to look after myself. I have signed up to red January thanks to my activity partnership reminding me! Who better to get you moving? I have also started my jar of thanks – every day for a year you write down something that you are thankful for and drop it in there, it fits well with the work that I do from my therapy too.
Finding hope or good in every day may help with my PTSD and anxiety, anything that might reduce the daily fear and urge to flee can only be a benefit, Iāll let you know how it goes. Building on the work I have done is part of looking after me and that gives me the strength to do what I do for everyone else.
I have a lot of meetings and calls booked in for January and these cover a range of existing projects and exciting new opportunities, I will update you on these as they become relevant.
I have plotted out competitions for both indoor and outdoor seasons and put my name down for a whole bunch of volunteering.
I hope the return to normal after the holiday season hasnāt hit you too hard? See you all soon on the range somewhere.
For now I am off back to building my models with the supervision of Jack who recalled a conversation from 3 years ago and got me my first warhammer set. Heās not wrong, good for my head and almost physio for the fine motor skills with the issues I am having with grip, clever man, my son. Itās never surprised me how many archers enjoy warhammer and some of them have been great to chat with this week too, thank you.
Itās that time of year when we reflect on the year thatās coming to an end, most of us do it, only natural I guess. For me itās just a blink of an eye from last New Yearās Eve. Walking in to see my parents and spend a couple days with them but realising that likely wouldnāt be the case. We had spent time over Christmas FaceTiming and laughing and those memories will always make what came next easier, it certainly gives me comfort to recall the laughter shared between dad and the children.
So my 2023 started with the end of dadās life, 3 days when we were supported by an amazing team who we didnāt even know on New Yearās Eve.
We had spent 6 and a half months having big conversations, hard conversations and talking about little things- we knew what was going to happen and we prepared for it and I have had a year of his voice in my ear with the messages he left from those conversations.
2023 was going to be the year I tried to build on the recovery of my mental health after the horrific 2021/2022 and everything that it brought, but I would be doing it without my dad.
So, did I achieve it? In many ways, yes! My head is a calmer, stronger place but I also still have more work to do there, a lot more work. I am pleased I have the years of messages that contain the promises that were used to destroy me, they reassure me that my memories and recollections are right and my counsellor confirms that my reactions to everything that followed are reasonable and I am grateful that sheās always there when I need her.
2023 has allowed me to breathe and look at Integr8archery CIC with a more relaxed view. I am proud of what I achieve and grateful to those who help me. Itās also the positive of what came from that very dark period of my life and itās something I shared in our weekly chats with dad, his love of listening to me talk of āmy little businessā. He was proud of those stats in the blog on the 26/12/22 and it makes me proud to have those 6 monthly reflections as I can hear him speak to me.
2022 and 2023 have taught me that I give so very much to my sport and that itās ok to admit that itās not always a good thing and with that in mind 2023 saw me start to build on some of the other things that I do and change the balance of where I use my time.
In 2023 – I gave a total of 1243 hours to volunteering, averaged thatās 23.9 hours a week. 2022 had that figure at just over 30 hours a week. So I have claimed a bit of time, not a lot, but those who know me well know that 7 hours a week for me is massive!
Of those hours 20.66 a week are for Integr8archery CIC – a total of 48 hours from that 1243 had nothing to do with archery at all!
I absolutely advocate volunteering and what you can get from giving to others, I really wouldnāt advocate giving the number of hours that I give!
Professional change came from a change in job but not to the one that I had been offered a year ago, in fact what I do hadnāt even been a thought a year ago! But I love it and I have been promoted, is it difficult some days, yes! Is it worth doing – absolutely and I cannot imagine what you might offer me as an alternative that I would consider doing! I mean I must love it to be going to an ice skating disco for over 8 hours this evening š«£š¬š±š
My archery? I had hoped to get back to my 1000 arrows a week, stats show me I have averaged 525 arrows a week! Not what I had wanted but neither had I anticipated the time/balance of new work and family responsibilities or my ever deteriorating physical health. My shoulder has deteriorated, my back is definitely not happy š¬ but my hands, particularly my right hand, the deterioration there in 2023 has seen me loose the ability to grip at an accelerated rate this year, and the weird spasms in my thumb are frankly bizarre/frustrating and weird. Three hospital appointments in the next few weeks will hopefully move us to some answers! š¤š»
Of course the good news in my archery is the gift of new cams from the manufacturer for my bow which I now have back and the timing is that I can learn my new way of shooting with my very pretty bow in my hands. Thank you to Maggie, Bowtech and Martin.
These changes meant that the classification I had worked hard at for the outdoor season from starting in 2018 to summer 2022 slipped in 2023 – and yes, I measure the new classifications but also use the old because for comparison they have meaning that the new just donāt yet. Indoors I had finished 2022/2023 on my best ever indoor classification and though this season started way below, the work I am putting in is seeing that climb back up and maybe I might š¤š» end the indoors where I was last year – and it will be fun to see where I settle on the new indoor classifications.
2024? work on my hand, work on my archery, and continue to work towards access to sport for all. Itās going to be interesting to see where it goes but at least I know I will see many of you as I go through the year – and that is by far the most important part of 2024 – I wish you good health, love and laughter š„°š„
As you know I keep track of my stats and what I am achieving to make sure itās worth the many many hours given to everything that Integr8archery CIC was set up to achieve. I complete the weekly update and most weeks a midweek blog drop too to keep you in the loop. As you know the 6 and 12 months stages I updated with stats.
So here I am 18 months! A number of groups are continuing to work with us on a regular basis, frequency varies from group to group.
But today I am concentrating on new hands on bows from June 2023 – December 2023 –
Education including primary and secondary schools and colleges = 384 & 32 = 416
Children in foster care = 13
Community Groups = 81
Disability sessions = 36
The group sessions for those in refuge saw us work with 25 individuals and I am proud to say this period has included a group of men, having previously been just women.
So a total of 571 individuals picking up a bow – (inclusive of soft archery but mostly pointy) in the last 26 weeks
Also 4 archers who had stopped shooting feeling that they had no place in our sport have spent time chatting with me and are back regularly shooting.
Thank you to everyone who lets me share my passion for this sport that I love but also to the coaches who work itās me, you are all amazing and between us thereās not much we cannot achieve.
I have also attended:
8 training sessions/courses,
9 webinars/seminars,
16 meetings
and 5 conferences.
I am excited for the very many things planned for 2024 and continue to be motivated by what is being achieved by Integr8archery CIC.
Thereās lots to share with you all in the coming months and these figures only tell part of the story as you will soon see.
I hope that you have enjoyed the holiday season so far and wish you all a very happy 2024 and I do hope itās filled with love and laughter for you all ā¤ļøš¹š„
Busy week for planning and meetings but the only arrows shot this week were the school groups. Lots of reasonings, some groups have stopped for the holiday break, some have kit issues and some were cancelled due to sickness.
It did give me time to sit and draw together everything for the coming year. Itās going to be busy but fun I think looking at the calendar already.
I have been helping a couple of new safeguarding officers find their feet, itās great to chat with people who understand the role and its possibilities, not just reactive but proactive.
As you will have seen from my post in the week I have been elected as Vice Chair for Northamptonshire Federation of Disability Sports. This is an exciting time as we are going to revamp the way that things are done to improve how we support and create opportunities in the county for increasing access to activities in the county. Itās also going to be hard work in the short term as we look at rewriting the constitution as a beginning step. It is no secret that I love my sport but I am incredibly passionate about access for all and I see multi sport and collaboration as a means to achieve so much more.
That doesnāt mean Integr8archery CIC will get less of me, I give around 30 hours a week to my amazing little company. Dropping that to 25 hours and giving those somewhere else isnāt going to even be noticed, next week sees me hit 18 months and I am excited to share the stats, but I have definitely settled into a rhythm and finding a pattern with family, work, Integr8archery, and even some time for me to shoot! Whilst I believe that my sport is truly one of the most adaptable and accessible sports I also understand that archery isnāt what everyone wants and that was the biggest reason for me training in multisports coaching rather than sport specific.
In other news, itās my birthday at the weekend and those who know me well know I hate it, historically itās an awful day and I try to avoid it. I have plans and I appreciate the efforts made by those who are trying to support me through the day. The next couple of weeks is going to be rough so be gentle with me please. I spend my time looking after everyone, if you could be mindful for me thatās all I ask.
If I donāt see you before the break have a great Christmas or whatever alternative way you spend the time and stay safe.
I often get asked how I am here, now, today with all these hats! Literally and figuratively š
So I thought I would explain a little, though many of you know already.
As a child I took along while to learn to walk, my mum was told it was because I was on the heavy side, well in actual fact when someone eventually took the time to investigate what was going on with my knees, it was discovered that some of my bones are not straight and as a result some of my joints are not quite how they should be. This resulted in me being offered my first surgery and I could go radical – literally an offer to have bones cut, plates attached and general horribleness with no promises of improvement but certainly some risks or the simpler offer of general poking and tidying in my knee and some ligaments cut to help with the knee. Call me a coward but I opted for the simpler offer. I then had surgeries every 5-7 years on my left knee until they stopped around 13 years ago.
Then there was a huge traumatic event in 1996 which damaged bits of me, bones, nerves, ligaments, etc. Added to the general clumsiness of the last (almost) 49 years and a series of broken bones in various places but my fingers, foot, shoulder blade and a couple of car accidents that have impacted my back, shoulder and neck and pretty much most of me hurts a lot of the time. Years of avoiding painkillers as a result of watching someone with addiction means I have damaged nerves to help me ignore the pain.
At school my general clumsiness saw me in goal for football and netball and an eager participant in unihoc basically a fast and furious indoor 4 a side hockey. I did briefly have a place on the lacrosse team but I was taken off that and the less said about that the better! š¬
I was not built for running – fast or cross country – though as an adult I have completed a learn to run course and did regularly attend park run with the children, completed a 10km that ended in the Olympic stadium and, along with Rose took part in a race at Walt Disney World which I highly recommend.
So I became an adult understanding that sport was not for me, school had tried and failed to find anything I thrived at.
Fast forward to becoming a parent, I finally found someone who was brave enough to teach me to ride a bike š²- my first physiotherapist all those years earlier had told me he had me on the bike because heād never seen anyone pedal how I did!
Jack tried many sports and eventually asked of he could try archery and we had some very real concerns over if he would be accepted with his epilepsy. In actual fact I have no idea that we would all be accepted and welcomed in such a way.
Since he needed an adult his dad decided he might as well join in and they completed their beginners course together. At the time I focused on Rose who was busy grading her way through her taekwondo belts and though she wanted to shoot with Jack, had some growing to do before she was able to draw a bow, though she was often found on a range trying, just in case she was now big enough!
In 2017 she was finally big enough and I was quite happy enjoying the sounds on the range whilst reading my book. Until I decided that I was going to do my beginners course in early 2018 just to avoid looking after other peopleās children. Except I actually enjoyed it and with the understanding of how my body was broken I picked up a compound bow and set about shooting, we were fairly certain I had about 2 years in my shoulder. My intention was to cram as much as possible into that time.
I certainly did as I found myself at competitions week after week and was stunned when I was asked to shoot for the county! Worried that the squad would wonder why I was there I anxiously made my way and found the most amazing and accepting group of people I have ever been blessed to be around.
2019 saw me begin to breakdown and also for the first time ever, sit down with a physiotherapist who looked at all of me at once, I am grateful to the NHS but they have only ever looked at whichever has been the critical bit in the moment.
2020 saw me eventually accept that if I wanted to carry on I had to sit to shoot, not a process I easily accepted but I had lots of help from lots of people. Covid gave me the time to work my way through the mental process of change.
2021 saw me face the very real possibility of loosing my sport and a huge mental breakdown. Again some amazing people helped me through this too.
2022? well the head is in a better place but that earlier mentioned nerve damage has progressed rapidly and the issues of not being able to hold things well and my shoulder breaking down have created some issues and so change finds its way to me again, and the long waits for new hospital appointments and tests.
Throughout all of this I have been giving my time in lots of ways at club, county, regional and national levels – learning incredible amounts about my sport, how it works and how accessible, inclusive and adaptable it is. For 3 years I was an Archery GB ambassador and started to grown the work I had been doing to get people into the sport I love but also helping people stay who were already here. Some faced changed – I know how hard that can be mentally, and some had not had the warm welcome that we had received and felt there was no place for them. Over time, as these projects grew, it was repeatedly stated that I was creating too much work, unsure how because I was doing it or sharing it with coaches etc who were interested.
In 2022 I resigned as an ambassador and a few months later, after being told that I had a place and a purpose and I could do it alone I created Integr8archery CIC and shortly after Integr8archery club.
I work hard on those same aims, inclusion, accessibility and diversity. For those who havenāt picked up a bow and those who think they may have to leave.
I still hold club and regional roles whilst volunteering my time to Archery GB whenever possible for completions both national and international.
I am privileged to work with many groups and enjoy it all though it can be overwhelming at times being on my own, but I have a trusted group of coaches who work with me.
Why did I think that it was worth waiting for today for this?
My belief in this sport and what it can offer comes from that first experience when we were welcomed by Wellingborough Open Archery Club (WOAC). When the club was created all those many years ago the word Open was included because they aimed to be inclusive for everyone. Amongst the many people there was Pat Comber who first supported my son, his dad, then our daughter and eventually me. From picking up my first bow – the controversial beginner who went straight to compound! My early selection to county and then the changes I have had to make. Whilst at the same time listening to my ideas for driving inclusion and spreading our sport. Always believing and encouraging and inspiring with the conversations about setting up this club to be open, to creating a disability club and a ladies only club. All those years before when inclusion was certainly not mainstream agenda.
So, yes, today seems incredibly fitting to explain what I do and why and where some of that inspiration came from and why it will be hard work and draining but also a fight worth taking on, because I was shown what can happen when someone opens the door to sport for you. Me – that fat child from the 70ās who has a sport that accepted her and my son with the challenges that epilepsy brings and my shy little girl – in fact as a family, shown a welcome that makes us give so much to the sport in lots of way, but by making it welcoming.
We will miss Pat, not just as a family but the wider archery community too but I shall see what I can continue to achieve on our joint belief that we can bring this sport to anyone. ā¤ļøš¹
Sorry there was no mid-week blog drop but I was busy and exhausted š“
The last competition of the year for Archery GB is in the bag and as always an amazing weekend, itās always a pleasure to help put these events on, though everyone I have ever done has a moment somewhere when I question my sanity and wonder why I am not at home with my pjs on š«£š and this was no exception. The juniors always blow me away and it was a privilege to spend my Sunday agenting for 2 different youngsters during the day. Proud of both of them ā¤ļøš¹
Today is International Volunteer Day – I have volunteered since I was 16 years old and in the intervening years I have done many, many things but can honestly say that I havenāt hated any of them. Some may have had moments when I wondered what the heck I was doing but thereās been nothing I wouldnāt do again.
All fit within the areas of accessibility and provision of opportunity in sport, education, safeguarding, creating change – particularly around violence and inclusion, and supporting families to have their best chances.
Thinking of giving volunteering ago? Go for it! There are so many things you could do, some from the sofa! Whatās your reason for not giving it a go? I wouldnāt recommend the amount that I do – around 25-30 hours a week, but itās too late for me now š I canāt work out what to stop and I am considering new challenges as we sit here š¤·āāļø as Jack always says I am donkey from Shrek š
Anyway have a think, pull on a hi viz vest or a volunteer shirt and have a blast š„°
Well itās been a busy week of CPD related training in safeguarding and disability delivery. I do enjoy multi sport sessions that take subjects and make us think from different view points, sharing thoughts and ideas and everyone leaving feeling motivated.
Speaking of motivation, my employer asked people to consider if we would sign up to be White Ribbon UK ambassadors and champions. They are working to words the organisational accreditation. Reading the values and aims it was an easy decision and I submitted my application, yesterday I received notification that I have been accepted and can now announce that I am a White Ribbon UK champion. Particularly well timed as the 25th November had seen me take part in the reclaim the night event in Northampton, always a touching and motivating event hosted by Northampton Rape Crisis team.
This is a topic that we all see on some level but I see in a variety of areas of my life. I am always inspired by the sessions we host for ladies in refuge and like wise the sessions hosted for the various youth groups where individuals have experienced violence in some form.
Now I shall start the conversation regarding how we will make the difference to create lasting change.
Lots of preparation being done to get the school and club back up and running which feels immensely promising and getting us back on track there.
I have spent some time this week supporting archers who had reached out and asked me to go along and talk some things over, I love catching up with those I havenāt seen for a while so thank you for asking me along.
lots happening this week, not least the volunteering for the indoor nationals so I look forward to seeing some of you there.
Disability and inclusion are massively important and huge drivers for me. Though it never fails to astound me at the lack of support and understanding shown by some.
When we came to this sport as a family we were worried about how epilepsy would be viewed and we were surprised at the incredibly warm welcome we received. The support he and we, as a family received helped Jack settle quickly and thrive in the sport he loved.
We did see examples in other places of archers not receiving the support that we had and it was important to me that this was clearly an area that needed work. It was the main reason myself and Jack became ambassadors for AGB, explaining that inclusion and diversity were my reasoning and the areas that I wanted to focus on. Ensuring that those who want to try our sport receive a warm welcome with necessary adaptations but also supporting those within it who need to adapt and change to stay.
The key part to anyone in this sport is being treated as an individual, no two people are the same, and we need to be treated accordingly.
I see amazing examples of exactly this, and I try to ensure that coaches who I work with do exactly this. It is why I signed up to the Childrenās Coaching Collaborative last year and signed my pledge at the launch of the Play their Way campaign.
At the weekend I was thanked for how I spent time patiently introducing a young person to archery, he was non verbal and instructions needed to be adapted, we had a great time and we shot lots of arrows. Communication should be adapted for everyone, non verbal does not mean lack of understanding or that the person canāt communicate in other ways.
I also spent time in another setting with a wheelchair archer who has some issues with confidence following comments made by other archers suggesting that she has been shooting inaccurately and that she should have known this, unsure how if no one ever explained it? But that the wording and implications were suggestive that being physically disabled is linked to issues with understanding instructions.
Why people cannot be careful with words is something I have never understood and that so many do not understand the damage words and tone can do is beyond me! I also donāt understand why a person who says something damaging never realises and therefore take responsibility, apologise and fix the matter.
Everyone deserves the right to be treated with respect and as an individual, disability brings a variety of challenges that can create boundaries and challenges without the additional burden of having to worry about how coaches or other people may speak to them.
Be kind, it doesnāt take a lot of effort surely.
Sorry for the gap in mid week blogs, lots of things have been going on.
So itās been busy, busy, busy. A lot has been planned for 2024 and I am looking forward to all of it and I will share more about each session/group/collaboration as the plans become settled. Particularly after the decisions of the coming week.
I have a lot of decisions to be made on a personal level but whatever these are, the things that I have committed to will go ahead and there have been a number of conversations about how to protect Integr8Archery CIC, I am very proud of everything that I have accomplished over the years for this sport and particularly since Integr8Archery began so this will continue, sitting down and reviewing this second year and looking at numbers and achievements has helped me put everything into perspective.
As well as a number of meetings, this week has seen me attend the Ann Craft Trust training in regards to safeguarding adults, which was a great session, anyone involved in safeguarding will know thereās a lot of efforts put into training for general safeguarding or for children but sessions specifically aimed at adults are rare. It was also a great way to learn more about the Ann Craft Trust, who I have spoken to a number of times in the last few months regarding some issues that I have been dealing with for over 3 years. Many thanks to Northamptonshire Sports to for putting the session on.
A third session in the #look closer programme being put on by the Childrenās Society. There is always more to learn, even in regards to subjects ŵe may know about and I do find these are well put together sessions.
I was blown away to receive an email asking me to consider some volunteer posts that are hugely important in regards to disability sports and access, both would be a privilege but I need to consider what I want to do with archery and what will fit in with my future, I think itās likely I can consider one of the roles.
After a very busy weekend of night shifts, I have had time to celebrate the hard work that has seen me be successful in a promotion in the day job and today I got to visit the amazing young people who I love spending time with at DISC. Always inspiring and gives me lots of motivation. Then a few hours with friends at Towcester Archers catching up with some great people.
Now for an early night as I have some meetings tomorrow and lots of planning to do. Take care and have a great week, thank you to those who share their successs, progresses and joys with me, and the photos I received this weekend of bobble hats following my post last week.
Some time ago whilst collaborating I had a discussion about how we measure success, itās not all about medals and bling and we have to pay particular attention to the individual, their challenges, goals and achievements. I was asked to write something for the website that was being set up to explain as it was believed that for many, it is about ranking and bling.
For me it can be many things. My PTSD creates serious anxiety and agoraphobia, daily I have to build up the strength to step over the threshold to take me outside the house. Every day! Itās one of the reasons that I like routine and structure but also to be busy.
If we go back, before the world of shopping online for everything, the longest I stayed in the house and didnāt leave was almost 10 months. Luckily my GP at the time gave me the support I needed to learn techniques to help me. There are still days though when my head is busy with overthinking and I slip and the work to get me outside is huge.
This weekend I had plans, all in my calendar, get home from work Saturday morning, off to LBAC to drop off my bow and cams and shoot a little, over to AOR to shoot a Portsmouth scored round and get everything ready for Sunday – my first indoor competition of the 23/24 season.
However an email Friday pushed all my anxiety to the front, off to work I went, but Saturday, once home I didnāt want to leave, not a surprise and so began the battle. Eventually I did leave the house and took my bow and cams to LBAC, I deliberately didnāt take my other bow so no shooting. A catch up with friends helped my mood a little but the anxiety and the delays created meant no scored round. Sunday morning? Seriously struggled to leave the house, a million excuses to stay at home, safe. However Rose was going to this competition and there would be friends there, so I accepted the offer of a lift from Paul and dragged myself there. No expectations as I had failed to do the prep this week and I am still dealing with the decision over the future of my release aid.
My PB for a Portsmouth is 548 – scored several times, so close to that next elusive Portsmouth badge of 550! I had sat down Wednesday to consider a realistic expectation and a challenging goal. So I set up at Green Dragon Bowmen with 2 scores in mind – 450 and 500.
My boss buddy was welcoming and we had a friendly session chatting about the sport and our experiences. I saw friends I expected to see, made new ones and saw some friends I hadnāt seen for a while who I hadnāt expected to see. I enjoyed the session and was incredibly happy to finish with a score of 528, had I not had a miss with a shoulder spasm I would have been close to my PB! So much better than I had hoped for.
However, the other unexpected gains from the day were conversations, about disability and adaptations or considerations that can improve their experiences. People that I didnāt know asking about Integr8Archery and the work that I do because they have seen references to me on social media, lots of positive feedback based on peopleās thoughts on the projects. So by the time we left my head space was significantly improved over the last couple of days and I had some thoughts about how to improve things in regards to my release.
Top off the day with news that I had managed gold, unexpected but welcome news and a raffle prize! Perfect end to a day that starting with me almost not leaving the house š± The medal isnāt the measure of my day, itās the ability I had to follow my process despite having to keep coming down during the shot routine as I repeatedly lost sensation in my fingers. Careful and controlled process got me that score. I am lucky to have friends who support me and who help me answer questions and find solutions as I continue my journey to shoot for as long as I can ā¤ļøš¹
Busy week ahead with planning meetings and some training but I will update on those at the weekend. Take care of yourselves š¤
