Blog with a message

What I do is a privilege – thank you

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message, News, Quick catch up

I often think back to January 2022 when I was giving a friend a lift, and I was asked why do you do all this, why volunteer so many of your hours to do the things that you do, what do you get out of it. That person is paid for everything that they do in sport, it’s a business and my choice to give my time for free clashed with their own view.

I personally think there’s a place for both and I don’t question those who do it for payment, giving my time for free with Integr8Archery and everything else that I do, and all of the years of volunteering before is exhausting and it certainly would be easier if I didn’t have to do a paid job to allow me to do it for free. First years stats show I averaged 26 hours a week – that’s a lot but I love it!

There’s variety in what I do, introducing new people to our sport, enabling self sustainability of groups by providing mentoring, supporting existing archers who are struggling, some have been bullied with in the sport, some are facing changes if they want to remain but have worries and anxiety, some have put down a bow because of some of these mentioned issues but would like support to return.

There are days that it’s tough, really hard work, the balance from a day job that is shifts, can be intense and requires all of me when on shift. Coming home exhausted, finding time to shoot my bow, dealing with my own health issues, making a brew and cracking on with meetings, emails, calls to arrange shooting for others, in whatever way possible.

But I love it, the hard thing is doing it alone, some days wanting to sit and share, good days, bad days, those who have worked with me know that some days I literally bounce as the ideas flow and I see things coming together – sharing that is great but I don’t get much opportunity to do that now.

There are those who find it irritating that I do all of this! Why it bothers anyone I do not know, there’s plenty to be done, crack on with your own thing and I wish you the very best of luck with it! Genuinely because the more of us out there doing anything for our sport means there are more people shooting and getting something from it. It gives so many things to so many people, we should be celebrating what we are all achieving.

Which brings me to what do I get out of this? The messages and updates, how things are going, what achievements have been made, and success is measured in so many ways.

The last couple of weeks have been this for someone I haven’t known long but who let me in, wanting to return to archery but things have changed and they had concerns about returning. The photo at the top of this blog is the very amazing Niamh returning to the range, the one at the bottom – one of several sent to me yesterday from the flight competition she attended.

It is a privilege to be part of anyone’s journey and some chat with me and take ideas and go off to do the things we have chatted about, some contact me some time later and update me, some stay with me, share often, message me to discuss worries along the way, some when they are on ranges struggling and thinking they need to quit.

I was once told that I was carried in someone’s pocket, their greatest cheerleader, their greatest believer, the person who never questions anyone’s right to be on the shooting line. This is a great privilege – to be allowed to support a person when they feel they’re most vulnerable. Thank you to everyone who lets me in, lets me stay and shares their successes and achievements no matter if it’s a small step or a huge leap.

So the answer to that question, why do I do what I do, give all of my time for free? Why wouldn’t I, why wouldn’t I do what I can to give anyone the peace they find on a range?

Sorry this Saturday blog is two days late, Saturday I should have been home at 22:00 but it was nearer 1:00 Sunday and as result I didn’t get to go to my beloved flight shoot, which means this year I will not get a flight season. I took Sunday to look after me, I needed that. Sometimes we need to look after ourselves to allow us to give to others and those that know me, know it’s rare I do that.

Thank you, as always for reading what I write. For allowing me to share some of what is happening with Integr8Archery CIC.

Trying to trust someone to help is hard work

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message

My history has made trust hard for many, many years.

I do not ask for help, ever, anything that makes me vulnerable simply isn’t going to be asked for. Just one of the very many things that keeps my therapist busy even after all these years!

Sport creates a quandary, you need someone to teach you, then you need someone to help you improve or deal with issues that arise, someone with the knowledge that you don’t have.

How do you find that person, where do you find them? Word of my mouth, internet search engines, sports governing bodies ……….?

You found one, how do you judge them? Know when things are right or wrong? For it to work you have to trust them, but if you trust them and then you aren’t sure about something but they explain or justify it, well they are the expert right? When do you ask someone else’s thoughts, whose opinion is the right one?

Different coaches have different ideas, different methods – right? With a little niggle, a little doubt, maybe it fades, may be it grows, and on you go. Until next time, the next thing and so the circle begins. How do you know when to ask or who to ask?

That was my merry go round, and it went on for 2 years, I tried to ask the coach, that never went well! So then I became reluctant to question anything, so I decided the better idea would be an email, a coach may be a friend but it’s also a working relationship and emails are absolutely appropriate in that setting.

Well that got me an early morning (5:30) angry, incredibly angry phone call. Screaming! How dare I speak to the coach in that way! Well I have that email, I have read it many times, it’s polite, respectful and carefully worded, my coach had had me in tears on the range on more than one occasion, some times in front of others, trust me I was careful because I was very much aware of the rage that could be triggered.

Apparently their coaching and authority had never been questioned or disrespected in such a way.

My quietly spoken question of if that was because no one else had experienced the same or had they simply not felt able to ask was met with more rage.

The response to all of this was not what I had hoped, not a sit down let’s look at how to answer those questions and make it safe for me to ask more questions about what and why we were doing things, but a slow destructive pattern that the following summer ended with me being told I have no place in this sport in any role, as an archer, a volunteer as someone who champions what this sport has to offer and what it can give.

The most destructive of endings I think to a coach/athlete relationship.

So I have fought to stay, on the line and in every other role that I value in my sport. Carved out where I am safe and who I am safe with. That trust that I barely had when I let that coach in, shattered.

To stay shooting with everything my body faces I need help, my physio – who never left, and someone who can offer the coaching but knowing I have a serious issue letting anyone have that access.

I am blessed to know many coaches, numerous sports and levels in my friendship circle. 2 who I can tentatively ask questions and who know what daring to reach out costs me, who are patient and gentle and supportive. They also respect each other, actually something else that I have learned isn’t as common as it should be either, another massive issue within coaching.

This year I have dared to let my friend, my county captain and safeguarding officer in a little, he coached me previously and he gets it. Occasional sessions where I ask questions and there may be tweaking but we shoot together, kind of coaching but without the label.

Whilst everything fell apart in Dunster I reached out to him and my physio to ask me to save my shooting with me.

Today we did that, tweaked and looked at options and sent me out into the world with work to do knowing I will ask my next question when I am ready.

I have become aware that the other coach has stepped further into my world and to stay safe I may need to shrink my world a little more, may loose one of my most important safe spaces. We are looking at ways around that.

My point? Don’t be afraid to ask questions, be brave enough to trust on your terms, there will be someone out there who will accept those terms and work with you.

If you don’t feel safe tell someone, anyone, and keep telling them until someone listens. I promise some of us do. One day we will all be safe ❤️🏹


Crazy, busy but very serious – all about safeguarding so far this week 🫶

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message, Quick catch up

This has been an incredibly serious and busy week, pretty much all along the lines of safeguarding.

A multi sports meeting around the topic of safeguarding and wellbeing. I find these kinds of meetings fascinating, frustrating and inspiring if they are my sport, multi sport or work related. You have the opinions about titles – safeguarding, welfare, child protection officers ……… and many more.

The debate about what is expected of those who take up such roles and does this vary depending on where within structure – club, county, regional, national levels. Are expectations varied depending upon if you are paid or a volunteer?

Then we enter the debate about who is responsible for safeguarding! Just those with the job title, wider committee, dare I say it? EVERYONE!

Then how do we deal with things, take details and hand it off and walk away, stay and help, support ……

Is a safeguarding course enough or should there be continuous CPD?

These meetings can take hours of unmanaged and at some point I usually feel my temper triggered. However I always come away equally inspired to have usually found others, who like me, take it incredibly seriously and one of, if not the most important topics we deal with.

Many of us who volunteer in these roles also work in something similar or connected to the issues we deal with and as such we take it incredibly seriously, the understanding of what matters left undealt with can lead too in the long term. We also understand why it’s vital those of us in these roles have a supportive network to turn to.

Anyhow it was, as always, a productive evening with links created.

Some virtual catch ups for me with a couple of archers who I have been supporting for a long time, great to catch up, see how they are getting on, discuss a couple of worries and create a plan for going forward.

Then a huge crash as something happened that threatened my feeling of safety and the work I have done to look after me. Thankfully I have people who reached out.

Some news that prompted some reviews of big issues that I have been dealing with for some time and firm decisions that I have made around who I now involve in these to further issues that are just not being resolved. Ultimately I need to know I did every to keep everyone safe and sometimes that requires more than 1 agency.

Risk assessments for young people at work and as always the disappointment that opportunities were missed for these and help that might have been sought sooner, that could have made a massive difference and reduction in trauma sorrowfully missed and now we look at how best to support recovery. This just makes the conversations around sport more focussed as I fully understand the damage of things left undealt with can do.

Last night dealing with a raid traffic accident outside of work for several hours and wondering how the gentleman is today, his prognosis and recovery and his family, hopefully they are all ok and being supported now and through the states of whatever happens. The crew for police interceptors was on scene so maybe I might find out in some months when that airs but I am fairly confident I managed to avoid being in shot, I am well practised in avoiding them when out with the roads policing officers and when they are in the officers trying to get footage when I have been at work 🤔🙃 No desire to pop up in tv shows 🫣

So apologies if you are waiting on something, I have been a tad busy with other stuff, I will get there in the next few days.

Hope you are all well and enjoying your weekend. See you all soon I am sure ❤️🏹

Remember – if those of us who care join together we can change things 🫶

Week 57 – be kind, always but also, be mindful

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message, Health, weekly update

I do not hide my battles with mental health, I don’t share everything with everybody either. It’s important to me that I don’t hide it, I have nothing to be ashamed of! By sharing, occasionally I am told it helps others too.

That said, sure I am stronger than I was last year but to be considered strong I still have a long way to go and I work at it daily. It doesn’t take much to make me wobble.

Last year was nearly my end, I survived, I didn’t hide, I know from past experiences that hiding gets easier and easier with every day that passes until months have passed and I haven’t left the house so this was important.

When you volunteer at big events you do a lot of hours, you are exhausted and the longer you are away from home – it all adds up and takes you to the edge. So last year I volunteered at the European Youth Championships – 10 days. This was just 3 months after the day that I survived so fragile, vulnerable – lots of words could be used to describe me.

On the Wednesday I was exhausted, shattered and being pushed from pillar to post by demands from 3 people, demands that clashed with each other and I found myself in a place I knew I shouldn’t be, doing something that I shouldn’t be, I had tried to avoid exactly that all morning but the people making the demands were not listening.

I found myself in a space distraught and wanting, needing to go home, trying to explain. At the same time knowing if I quit and left I would likely not make it half way home before being desperately upset and disappointed in myself and wishing I had stayed.

Stay I did, sorted myself out and got on with it! Not pretty and certainly in part caused by how immensely fragile I was.

Fast forward 48 weeks, I am stronger but not yet strong. Still recovering from what happened 16/5/22.

I know my journey, that took me from 1996 to 2021, the destruction from November 2021 to May 2022. The path to August 2022 and onto July 2023. Who I share what with? That’s up to me.

Imagine though, battling your own fight and having someone say, well it must have been a good day, Helen didn’t cry today! Certainly nothing like she did last August! For the next week, similar comments every day, well it’s better than last year when you broke down and cried and had to be taken off the field!

Now I don’t believe the person who said it meant harm. It’s bemusing to me as we have spent time on the range together since last August and it’s not been mentioned so why now and why so often? I replied several times, in ways that I believe should have ended the comments, but it didn’t stop. So I tried to ignore it. Thing is, now more people know about that day and in a way that only makes me look weak. Giving other ways to dig at me. In fact someone else who didn’t even know me last August and was nowhere near the range started to make comments in reference to it!

I have thought long and hard for the last 2 weeks, but it’s not ok. What happened happened, and it doesn’t matter why. If you saw me distressed last year and now I appear stronger why on earth would you use it to behave in such a way!

Be kind – always but also, be mindful because you know little to nothing of what another person has lived through – and now your behaviour has set me back, but also given another person something to use against me.

So this last week, I have had meetings, lots of them, in person and via the web, thank goodness for the internet and technology.
Activity partnerships and community groups reviewing existing projects and planning next steps and what I can help achieve, some exciting things there.

Activity partnerships, new groups and new projects, announcements to come over the next few weeks.

3 archers deciding to leave or adapt to remain within the sport who have allowed me in to help with their decisions and to find them the correct support, hopeful that they can stay in our sport that they love.

Last night (or was that this morning) my first collaboration meeting with a project across three cities over the water. Massively scaled down from what the plans had been last year when I had been building work for someone else but the people involved still wanted what I had always going to give and though they have offered me something huge I have, at this time kept it small to allow me to step forward slowly. Exciting though that my work here over the last 5-6 years within local and wider communities sees me invited into a project that covers communities in the UK and the USA.

So as my meeting was at 2am here I am now off to bed as I have work tomorrow!

Take care of yourself and for me, this week sees the beginning of my flight season 🥳

Mental Health and the Frank Bruno Foundation 🥊

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message, Health

I had made plans to go to my first session at the Frank Bruno Foundation on Friday. It didn’t quite go to plan, my mind had other ideas. Grab a cuppa and I will explain.

Those of you that know me or read my blogs know I battle my mental health daily, and that I have had some serious dips over the years. For those who don’t know here’s a bit of history.

1996 saw me go through something horrific and added with some previous experiences this was the catalyst for what happened with my mind. The anxiety that I had previously now exploded and as I recovered physically from what happened I didn’t have any ideas about how to deal with my mind. So I started to teach myself how to hide it, how to function at work and in life with this huge dark energy in my head.

Over the years my body tried to warn me what ignoring my mind can do, migraine, IBS, stress related alopecia….. it kept trying and I continued to teach myself ways to hide it and carry on. Of course this takes it toll. Every day I have to convince myself stepping out of the house will be ok, at my worst, the longest time I stayed in the house was 10 months and that was long before all of the ways you can have food and shopping delivered to you at home.

Fast forward to 2015 and I was sat at work and the pain was excruciating and I could not breathe, my colleagues thought I may be having a heart attack, luckily they fetched someone who had years of previous experience working at the A&E department who sat with me and explained this was a panic attack. Doesn’t sound that bad? Well if felt like it might kill me! They still do when they visit.

Supportive colleagues saw me access therapy, something I had avoided up til now because I couldn’t see how talking about everything would help me. Wow the first couple of weeks were a surprise, sure we talked but there’s a lot to do at home between sessions and it is a lot more than talking! Serious work saw a stronger me, techniques found that worked for me to help me ground and control, some things I had self taught over the years but we built on these. 6 months of serious work and since then I have been able to drop in and out with Nora, she is worth her weight in gold and I cannot thank her enough for being that solid rock when I need her.

2022 was bad, really bad and all of my techniques were also smashed, leaving me with no coping mechanisms. Surviving the darkest place because of people who didn’t give up on me when I did, I had to dig in and start again. Absolutely this meant back to therapy, but also realising I needed new ways, because the damage created meant I couldn’t just go back to the old techniques and the diagnosis in the autumn that I have PTSD!

Here I stand, stronger than a year ago and proud of what I have accomplished in the last year but still incredibly vulnerable and looking for those new ways to strengthen my resilience, especially when I now also have the grief of the loss of my dad in January which I have not dealt with.

I am familiar with The Frank Bruno Foundation and the great work they do. I have spoken to several people who have been on programmes and they speak very highly of what those programmes have given them. Several times I have thought of going along but there’s always something in the way, I am very experienced at putting barriers in my own way! Then they advertised an 8 week programme that is being offered for blue light card users, seems like the perfect timing! As most blue light card holders work shifts we can drop in and attend as many or as few of the 8 sessions as we wish. With some help from work I quickly made arrangements to be available to attend the 2nd and the last 5 sessions. Perfect.

So, Friday morning, the voices in my head were loud, really loud! A safeguarding call asking to speak with me when I was available, not urgent but needing advice, perfect excuse that I cannot go before I have dealt with that!

The session was to start at 10:00, the sick feeling, pounding in my chest, struggling to breathe and all the doubts running round my head about a place I have never been to.

I help others step into the unknown, make arrangements for them to visit before hand, I have stood in the middle of a range in my pyjamas, why didn’t I extend the same steps to myself?

So now here I am sat in the house, upset, disappointed and angry with myself that I do not look after myself in the same way that I look after everyone else. The sunburn from JNOC has decided to choose this morning to start to peel and I hear my friend from last week – Helen what do they tell you on the plane about safety and when the masks drop down, put on your own first and then help others! That’s what you should do every day.

So I dragged myself off to the car and determined to go to the gym, if I can walk in, feel the space then those final 4 sessions will be easier because it will not be a fear of the unknown. Not quite sure where I am going – well if I can’t find it, I tried right? The sat nav took care of that of course. When I arrived it was at same time as one of the volunteers – Jo, who greeted me with warmth and a welcoming smile and took me inside to chat and have a coffee.

The group I should have been with came out and as they were going into the gym welcomed me and invited me in, coach Jo and one of the attendees – Sue, encouraged me inside. I have that flight reflex and I want to run despite the welcome, so I sat on the floor – it slows down the running! Those who know me well will be familiar with my act of using a coffee mug as a shield and there I sat with my mug in front of me to beat the demons.

I could hear my grandad, he was the one that when I was little, first sat me down to watch the boxing and talked to me about the dancing feet in fight, as I sat on the floor that was very evident and that led me to think of him and dad and their love of boxing.

Coach Joe came to sit with me and chat between leading the group, Lisa came in to take photos and also sat and chatted with me. The sickness left, the breathing settled, my mug made its way to the floor beside me. The sky didn’t fall in and I was in a safe space. As I watched and listened I was drawn to the conversation of dominance, in archery we start with what is your hand dominance but sometimes we find you might me left eye dominant despite being right handed. Just this week I found this with a young boy who has been shooting a while but moving him to left made a massive difference. It appears feet are the same. We start with hand dominance but in the group two attendees have discovered they are left footed, the brain is amazing.

Lisa and I left the room to chat about work we do, overlaps in aims and maybe things we might even do together for service users but maybe for some down time for staff and volunteers.

It was the drop in session, another coffee and chatting to lots of people, me explaining my failure this morning and the desire to attend and remove the demon and change the loss to a draw. I was chatting with Martin who told a little about himself and what the programmes have given him, including the confidence to propose and showed me some photos from the wedding just 2 months ago. How amazing.

Thank you to everyone who welcomed me and chatted with me, serious conversation, laughter and support. I would very much recommend that anyone thinking of going, try it and maybe the drop in sessions are a great ice breaker, no pressure but a gentle way to walk in the door, there are lots of different programmes, for adults and young people so it’s definitely worth chatting to find out what will suit you. Maybe you have something to offer as a volunteer I often speak of how volunteering can be a great way to try something before taking part.

Lisa, myself and Kate from West Northants council went back into the gym to take some photos and amidst the laughter and conversations I most definitely found a safe space, of amazing people, from a variety of backgrounds and I will be back for those remaining 4 sessions but likely so much more. If I haven’t mentioned you by name, I apologise, I am hopeless at remembering names, I will learn them eventually 🤗

I wanted to turn my loss to a draw but I think it ended on a win! I didn’t do what I had planned but it was successful none the less. Be kind to yourself and allow for your own feelings.

Have a great weekend I hope those storms don’t ruin too many plans.

53 weeks – a year and one week 😜 I appeared everywhere this week! In print and in person❤️🏹

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message, Event recap, News, weekly update

Thank you to Jonathon Yau for his photos this weekend and the various parents who caught me as I ran around.

I have spoken before about volunteering for Archery GB and the competition team. As I enjoy competing I am grateful to those who work hard to put events on, whatever the level, local club scored rounds to international competitions the basics are very similar, just number of competitors that often see the need for an increase in the numbers of workforce required. Don’t be afraid, give it a go, those who have been doing it a while are always on hand in the moment to help and as with any busy, time restricted happening, there’s occasionally a cross word, but at the end of the day when we collapse over food and prep for tomorrow this are resolved and forgotten and replaced with laughter.

We are successful because we work hard together and take care of each other, we are a team. Blue shirts, green shirts, paid staff and volunteers and by far the most important thing is we have a sense of humour, as can often be seen in the photos.

Why do I do it? This weekend I had a child approach me to ask if they could show me a photo, a collage of what they have won or earned since last year’s JNOC. This same child stood on this same grass a year ago crying and they were going to quit, not withdraw from the competition but quit the sport. I, as I often do, saw them and started a conversation, with them, with their parent. We kind of sorted it, they went back to the line, and a couple of times came back to find me over the weekend for another little chat. A year later they wanted to show me their achievements and thanked me for helping them stay in the sport.

It is a privilege to be allowed to help someone pause, breathe and reset. I have children and adults who often come to find me at competitions to let me know how they are doing, 6 months, a year, 5 years later, 1 who messages me occasionally from overseas to update me as they no longer live in the UK. Often these are people who I don’t know until I see them crying on a range. In part it’s who I am, I know how it feels when life is biting you, if I can help I will. In part it’s the safeguarding officer in me. Mental well-being is as important as everything else that we are taking care of.

Which is why it’s hard to see children, or adults, crying because a parent or coach is shouting, in some cases swearing at an archer. As they come back from the line, being berated for their scores! There are less of these than those who support, but there are far too many and whilst we are looking at ways to change it, it’s huge, a culture created over time. It’s not acceptable and certainly I have seen and supported some with very real, very serious examples of bullying.

There’s also too many examples of children bullying others, encouraged by parents and coaches because throwing them off their game might bring down their scores and let you win. Sure it might, but it does make you a bully and it’s not something to encourage by responsible grown ups!

As ever my body hates what I drag out of it when I do these events and I now have to recover. It’s worth it to me, another event that was a success put on by team work. Now it’s time to sit and reflect on what happened, what I might do going forward and also how I might help create change for others too.

Thank you to everyone who reached out to celebrate my first year of Integr8Archery and those who have read the membership magazine will see the numbers quoted vary a little from what I was able to finalise for my end of year data, simply because they needed information to get the magazine ready and I still had another 6 weeks work to put in! You will have noticed that I am on more than one page 😱😂 but it’s making me smile how you all think Clair is me too, my shirt and hats are warn by many, I am not the only crazy archer out there getting bows in hands, I do have help 🙃

Thank you to everyone who sent kind words in reply to the Northamptonshire Sports article on my being selected as a Northants Active Champion, it was a little overwhelming and incredibly humbling – thank you 😊

Events delivered last week, more planned over this week and the summer and meetings, meetings, meetings! The latest children’s coaching collaborative meeting discussing play their way, was another great session and it’s always great to be in the multi sports environment as I do think that whilst things need to change in archery there’s lots who need the same change and supporting each other can only make us stronger.

I am trying to pull as much together as I can before my Dunster week, I don’t know what time or internet access I will have whilst there for 10 days so let’s get what we can sorted before I am away. It’s amazing how many people have asked me to shave days off my trip, no! I have worked hard this last year to stay in my sport with a bow in my hand and to relearn the joy and how to smile. So I won’t be giving it up! I don’t care about scores or bling, I am going to experience something I was previously discouraged from doing and doing it with my friend.

I will let you know how it goes as I am sure I will be encouraging you all to give it a go to.

Take care and enjoy your week 🥰 hugs and kisses to you all

1st anniversary 🥳 PTSD awareness day – perfect timing ❤️🏹

Helen Sharpe Anniversaries, Blog with a message, Health, Numbers and stats, weekly update

Well hello there, pull up a chair!

For those of you who have been here from the beginning you may have noticed the date! 52 weeks in a year right? So that would make today the day! 365 days – yes? So that would make tomorrow the day 😜 but as you know I do my end of week blogs on Tuesday and a midweek blog on Saturday. So please forgive me – I’m using the 52 weeks for my celebrating 🥳

A small group of people woke up 52 weeks ago to a message that I had been up all night with paper scattered all over the floor making lists of pros and cons and planning and the decision had been firmly made that I was sticking with my sport, as an archer, with my projects, getting it out there to new people but also continuing to work with those already in the sport who faced changes of various kinds to stay with the sport. After months of various people telling me I could, I had heard the message the evening before and decided he and all the others offering to support me might be right, I had been doing this for years before I collaborated and I could do it going forward without those collaborations too.

So I needed to set up a business, quickly and move forward with the world understanding who I am and what I wanted to do, but first I needed a name – we had sorted it between us within 3 hours, a logo was next – I had that by tea time! A plan, I had created that in the middle of the night. A website started the following day, a Facebook page, instagram ………. an announcement to the world! What a first week! Community Interest Company – non profit – status granted, terms firmly set. An archery club – a committee and away we went!

6 months allowed me to reveal amazing stats, available because in January 2021 I started to keep stats on my hours as a response to criticism about why a person would volunteer and not do all of these things for profit. Stats on the projects were easy as I had been keeping those for years.

Those figures were seen by my dad, my weekly voice of reality in those 6 months as I started Integr8Archery a week after his diagnosis and the news he only had a few months left. Those conversations were a break for us both from the conversations about his illness, his treatment and the information we had about what his wishes were and what a future without him might be. I was proud he saw those figures, he was proud of what I had achieved in those 6 months. A week later – as I was writing my 27 weeks blog, I was sat chatting to him knowing there was very little time left, but he had wanted to know everything and so we shared the writing of that blog just hours before he lost his fight. I want him here to see what I have to share today, he isn’t, but I know what he would say, because he shared his thoughts and I hear him daily 🤗

So, my 2 a week blogs have kept you up to date with events and plans.

52 weeks in Numbers –

52 weeks = 1085 hours of my time given, for free to Integr8Archery! For every 1 hour there has been a bow in the new hands of 1.9 people! So many sustainable groups along with one off sessions or short term groups. Community groups that strive to include everyone – to hit my aims for equality, inclusion, diversity and accessibility.

“ changing lives through archery”

But what else, we know I don’t just give my time to Integr8Archery.

I have given 206.5 hours of my time to Archery GB to volunteer as part of the competition workforce. I shoot and I love competitions and whilst I am only ever interested in what I am doing, comparing myself only with myself, I know competitions only happen because of volunteers – give it a go! It’s by far the best blue shirt there is, to wear amongst a great volunteer family.

I have also given 34 hours to other things, such as marshalling, I use other sports to help me stay grounded, mix with others. It certainly helps with my headspace to keep my circle wider than my sport, one that I love, but one where I was taken to my knees.

So, that’s 1325.5 hours of my time given as a volunteer across sports. 25.4 hours a week! That’s on top of my very demanding day job, my family and friends and my own shooting. I don’t sleep, we know that, what else would I do with my time 😂🫣🤷‍♀️ I mean we get 168 hours in a week, how do you spend yours 🙃

Thank you to my family, friends, club committee and every coach or ear/shoulder of support from 28/6/22 to date.

It blows my mind that just 6 weeks prior to that I was sat in A&E because I found myself in a place that meant I could only see one answer, simply not to be here at all! Well if I had succeeded that day over 2000 people are unlikely to have picked up a bow!

Seriously though, I have been asked why I share what’s happening with my mental health? Why? Because it might just help even 1 person and if it does that’s what matters.

In the autumn I was formally diagnosed with PTSD, see why it’s relevant that today – my year is also PTSD awareness day!

My mental health has been an issue since 1996 and the trauma that changed everything, over the years it’s created a number of issues and I do share about them. I have had a number of ways to deal with that and learn methods to handle the issues that I face and live with. However from November 2021 to June 2022 someone set about destroying those methods leaving me in a darker place, with my grounding and management techniques removed – coping was unlikely.

My counsellor is amazing, without a doubt a focus has helped and here I sit, with these amazing numbers to show as a result of that focus.

I have tried new things, we’re still learning how to replace what I had taken. I do know that if you look at how relaxed I am on the range, shooting, smiling on arrival and departure – wow, look at the change from the fear and the tears of 2022. Thank you for the support and hugs and patience that I was shown and to the clubs who now give me safe space where I know my mind can calm.

There have been happenings in the last couple of weeks that have made me stumble and I can say that I am about to embark on another new step, having signed up to a programme with The Frank Bruno Foundation. I will let you know how it goes.

I sit here with a list of planned events, new ideas bouncing around even just Monday 26/6/23 seeing communications starting around some possible VI work and new sustainable sessions. Exciting things to come in the second year of Integr8Archery CIC. I am proud of what I have achieved so far and excited about what is to come. You are welcome to continue to join me – the 2 blogs a week will continue for those who are interested. Saturday will give you a little more information about how those numbers I have quoted here breakdown.

Today? Eat cake and raise a cuppa with me 🥳

See you all soon, it is a privilege to be allowed to be a part of what our sport can give to those who pick up a bow ❤️🏹 thank you 🥰

How do you set your goals, do you review them? Who do you let influence you?

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message, Health, Quick catch up

In life we set ourselves goals, aims, outcomes – whatever you choose to name them. Sport is another place we often set ourselves targets.

From deciding I was going to pick up a bow and booked my beginners course I had a goal, this has continued in the 5 years that I have been shooting. I usually have several at any time and they will all lead towards a main goal. That one big thing that everything else feeds into. I review my goals regularly around a number of things, kit, health, time and of course I shoot two different styles of archery so there are times I juggle those against each other.

How do you choose what is a reasonable goal, realistic, stretching.

Who do you allow to influence you? Coach, shooting friends, squad members, shooting buddies?

What if you want to focus on something different to those people, do you stand your ground?

I recall a conversation with a coach where I was told my goal wasn’t enough, that they could push me to achieve a different goal because they believed in their ability as a coach rather than actually taking the time to understand what my goal meant. No real surprise then when I achieved something that I had worked from the beginning towards, taking 3 and a half years to achieve and that person didn’t even acknowledge what I had achieved as exactly that, an achievement! Bemusing really.

So I guess my question/request is, what do you want, is what you are working towards what you want or what someone else wants from you? I ask because it’s important, and the impact can have a massive impact on your mental and/or emotional wellbeing. So it’s definitely worth thinking about it and just checking on what you want.

Have a great weekend and see you soon ❤️🏹

Week 47 – Children’s Coaching Collaborative, Play Their Way

Helen Sharpe Announcement, Blog with a message, Joining forces for strength, News, weekly update

As you will be aware from the information that I published I signed up to the Children’s Coaching Collaborative last autumn. This year the Child-First Coaching Coffee Catch Ups began. These sessions are for anyone who’s signed up to join together at the sessions as and when they can, to discuss important topics but over a virtual coffee session, the sessions are kept to an hour per session to allow people to fit them into busy schedules.

I find these particularly interesting as it is one of the initiatives that I am involved in that sees people from many sports come together and discuss common issues and share ideas.

The has been a very strong theme throughout – voice, choice and journey. Very much linked with the theme behind any good coach around listening to and coaching the individual.

As a coach this is of huge importance but also in my safeguarding role this is a massive issue. A large amount of my time is taken when voice and choice are removed. Surely something that we should all have taken from the publication of the Whyte report and the subsequent reform 25. Do not sit complacently believing that issues are only in other sports, there are examples of issues across all sports. It is with these in mind that I was interested in the Children’s Coaching Collaborative.

Today the next step is launched – Play Their Way. Please see above my statement that Integr8Archery CIC has signed up to the movement and I would ask you to take the time to consider signing up yourself as a coach but also your organisation and lead those you work with to look at joining too.

This week’s meetings and reviews, which I frequently complete on my projects and with the coaches and groups we deliver to, are about safeguarding and delivering the right service, in the right way to help achieve the goals. This is what the Children’s Coaching Collaborative and other groups that I am part of are aiming to achieve across all levels of all sports.

Am I talking or Am I communicating? Can you see the difference? I would suggest you cannot!

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message

This has been something I have been thinking about for some time, it’s due to comments that I here often, have done for years!

Oh ask Helen, she’s not doing anything she’s only talking.
I have introduced the coaches but as you can see Helen is only here to talk!
Are you here to work or to talk?

Some of the very many comments I hear.

So let’s consider, you see me talking but I know that a lot of what I am doing is communicating.

The second of those comments was made at a club who was helping me host a taster event for over 80 out of school educated children, whilst the coaches were showing how to shoot, I was talking to parents, carers and children. Finding out what the individuals wanted, what were their concerns and how I could help answer those. Discussing specific needs around disabilities.

The first of those comments I have heard in a number of places but often when I am volunteering for Archery GB. At the Grand Prix, 2 specific examples – I was talking to someone who had dropped in to see me, but that took 5 minutes, the rest of the time was about why I volunteer and what it involves and how they might take part, how they register. Then how they could bring juniors from their club to watch the finals, how did spectators attend events.

The second example was me talking to an athlete who I have supported through some safeguarding and wellbeing issues and was feeling stressed by the occasion and some triggers. A very important conversation that I am not going to explain to onlookers for obvious reasons.

I can give examples of individuals when I am volunteering where I see archers upset for various reasons and I reach out, I have helped them in the moment and at future events they speak with me about how things have improved or they may be wobbling again and they remember that I am a safe person to reach out to.

Speaking with people at events allows me to help them get what they want from sessions, or to allow me to support those already shooting in whatever capacity they need might be a quick hug for reassurance or it might be a safeguarding issue.

At a recent event, sat chatting with a group whilst coaches were introducing people to archery we talked about some ideas they had for groups and activities they wanted going forward but also the conversation flowed around and we spoke of domestic violence, bereavement and mental health to name a few topics. How sport can empower and help change lives. I have seen this in sessions that I have put on for a group from refuge and a group of foster children through to the education project and disabled people who have asked for help to access sport.

Just Monday I was speaking to a lady who felt she might find help with her mental health and grief following the loss of her dad in December, just 2 weeks before I lost dad – we stood in the middle of the field crying and hugging.

All of the things I do see me chat a little but communicate a lot. Without a doubt the conversations I have are I think, rare on a range and definitely part of who I am, I have been told more than once that I “attract these conversations”. I don’t see that as a bad thing, it is without a doubt in part due to my personal and professional experience and my willingness to be me, to put myself out there and be vulnerable because that’s what some of those conversations do.

Some of these topics are heavy and emotionally draining some make me buzz and the excitement makes me bounce with ideas – something those around me find draining and some try to quiet me.

All that I ask is, if you see me talking, stop and think, ask yourself am I talking or am I communicating?

I can tell you that when they have been draining to hear “she’s only talking” is demoralising. If I have achieved something and someone was taking the time to thank me – to hear it is demotivating and has on more than one occasion made me considering walking off the range and wondering why I bother, because some of these conversations make me vulnerable so to be dismissed because you saw me talking hurts, some days – a lot.

So ask yourself next time do you need to say it? It might seem harmless to you, but it stings! Please do not dismiss what is happening when “Helen is just talking”!