Blog with a message - Integr8Archery

Mental Health and the Frank Bruno Foundation 🥊

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message, Health 8 July 20238 August 2023

I had made plans to go to my first session at the Frank Bruno Foundation on Friday. It didn’t quite go to plan, my mind had other ideas. Grab a cuppa and I will explain.

Those of you that know me or read my blogs know I battle my mental health daily, and that I have had some serious dips over the years. For those who don’t know here’s a bit of history.

1996 saw me go through something horrific and added with some previous experiences this was the catalyst for what happened with my mind. The anxiety that I had previously now exploded and as I recovered physically from what happened I didn’t have any ideas about how to deal with my mind. So I started to teach myself how to hide it, how to function at work and in life with this huge dark energy in my head.

Over the years my body tried to warn me what ignoring my mind can do, migraine, IBS, stress related alopecia….. it kept trying and I continued to teach myself ways to hide it and carry on. Of course this takes it toll. Every day I have to convince myself stepping out of the house will be ok, at my worst, the longest time I stayed in the house was 10 months and that was long before all of the ways you can have food and shopping delivered to you at home.

Fast forward to 2015 and I was sat at work and the pain was excruciating and I could not breathe, my colleagues thought I may be having a heart attack, luckily they fetched someone who had years of previous experience working at the A&E department who sat with me and explained this was a panic attack. Doesn’t sound that bad? Well if felt like it might kill me! They still do when they visit.

Supportive colleagues saw me access therapy, something I had avoided up til now because I couldn’t see how talking about everything would help me. Wow the first couple of weeks were a surprise, sure we talked but there’s a lot to do at home between sessions and it is a lot more than talking! Serious work saw a stronger me, techniques found that worked for me to help me ground and control, some things I had self taught over the years but we built on these. 6 months of serious work and since then I have been able to drop in and out with Nora, she is worth her weight in gold and I cannot thank her enough for being that solid rock when I need her.

2022 was bad, really bad and all of my techniques were also smashed, leaving me with no coping mechanisms. Surviving the darkest place because of people who didn’t give up on me when I did, I had to dig in and start again. Absolutely this meant back to therapy, but also realising I needed new ways, because the damage created meant I couldn’t just go back to the old techniques and the diagnosis in the autumn that I have PTSD!

Here I stand, stronger than a year ago and proud of what I have accomplished in the last year but still incredibly vulnerable and looking for those new ways to strengthen my resilience, especially when I now also have the grief of the loss of my dad in January which I have not dealt with.

I am familiar with The Frank Bruno Foundation and the great work they do. I have spoken to several people who have been on programmes and they speak very highly of what those programmes have given them. Several times I have thought of going along but there’s always something in the way, I am very experienced at putting barriers in my own way! Then they advertised an 8 week programme that is being offered for blue light card users, seems like the perfect timing! As most blue light card holders work shifts we can drop in and attend as many or as few of the 8 sessions as we wish. With some help from work I quickly made arrangements to be available to attend the 2nd and the last 5 sessions. Perfect.

So, Friday morning, the voices in my head were loud, really loud! A safeguarding call asking to speak with me when I was available, not urgent but needing advice, perfect excuse that I cannot go before I have dealt with that!

The session was to start at 10:00, the sick feeling, pounding in my chest, struggling to breathe and all the doubts running round my head about a place I have never been to.

I help others step into the unknown, make arrangements for them to visit before hand, I have stood in the middle of a range in my pyjamas, why didn’t I extend the same steps to myself?

So now here I am sat in the house, upset, disappointed and angry with myself that I do not look after myself in the same way that I look after everyone else. The sunburn from JNOC has decided to choose this morning to start to peel and I hear my friend from last week – Helen what do they tell you on the plane about safety and when the masks drop down, put on your own first and then help others! That’s what you should do every day.

So I dragged myself off to the car and determined to go to the gym, if I can walk in, feel the space then those final 4 sessions will be easier because it will not be a fear of the unknown. Not quite sure where I am going – well if I can’t find it, I tried right? The sat nav took care of that of course. When I arrived it was at same time as one of the volunteers – Jo, who greeted me with warmth and a welcoming smile and took me inside to chat and have a coffee.

The group I should have been with came out and as they were going into the gym welcomed me and invited me in, coach Jo and one of the attendees – Sue, encouraged me inside. I have that flight reflex and I want to run despite the welcome, so I sat on the floor – it slows down the running! Those who know me well will be familiar with my act of using a coffee mug as a shield and there I sat with my mug in front of me to beat the demons.

I could hear my grandad, he was the one that when I was little, first sat me down to watch the boxing and talked to me about the dancing feet in fight, as I sat on the floor that was very evident and that led me to think of him and dad and their love of boxing.

Coach Joe came to sit with me and chat between leading the group, Lisa came in to take photos and also sat and chatted with me. The sickness left, the breathing settled, my mug made its way to the floor beside me. The sky didn’t fall in and I was in a safe space. As I watched and listened I was drawn to the conversation of dominance, in archery we start with what is your hand dominance but sometimes we find you might me left eye dominant despite being right handed. Just this week I found this with a young boy who has been shooting a while but moving him to left made a massive difference. It appears feet are the same. We start with hand dominance but in the group two attendees have discovered they are left footed, the brain is amazing.

Lisa and I left the room to chat about work we do, overlaps in aims and maybe things we might even do together for service users but maybe for some down time for staff and volunteers.

It was the drop in session, another coffee and chatting to lots of people, me explaining my failure this morning and the desire to attend and remove the demon and change the loss to a draw. I was chatting with Martin who told a little about himself and what the programmes have given him, including the confidence to propose and showed me some photos from the wedding just 2 months ago. How amazing.

Thank you to everyone who welcomed me and chatted with me, serious conversation, laughter and support. I would very much recommend that anyone thinking of going, try it and maybe the drop in sessions are a great ice breaker, no pressure but a gentle way to walk in the door, there are lots of different programmes, for adults and young people so it’s definitely worth chatting to find out what will suit you. Maybe you have something to offer as a volunteer I often speak of how volunteering can be a great way to try something before taking part.

Lisa, myself and Kate from West Northants council went back into the gym to take some photos and amidst the laughter and conversations I most definitely found a safe space, of amazing people, from a variety of backgrounds and I will be back for those remaining 4 sessions but likely so much more. If I haven’t mentioned you by name, I apologise, I am hopeless at remembering names, I will learn them eventually 🤗

I wanted to turn my loss to a draw but I think it ended on a win! I didn’t do what I had planned but it was successful none the less. Be kind to yourself and allow for your own feelings.

Have a great weekend I hope those storms don’t ruin too many plans.

53 weeks – a year and one week 😜 I appeared everywhere this week! In print and in person❤️🏹

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message, Event recap, News, weekly update 4 July 20234 July 2023

Thank you to Jonathon Yau for his photos this weekend and the various parents who caught me as I ran around.

I have spoken before about volunteering for Archery GB and the competition team. As I enjoy competing I am grateful to those who work hard to put events on, whatever the level, local club scored rounds to international competitions the basics are very similar, just number of competitors that often see the need for an increase in the numbers of workforce required. Don’t be afraid, give it a go, those who have been doing it a while are always on hand in the moment to help and as with any busy, time restricted happening, there’s occasionally a cross word, but at the end of the day when we collapse over food and prep for tomorrow this are resolved and forgotten and replaced with laughter.

We are successful because we work hard together and take care of each other, we are a team. Blue shirts, green shirts, paid staff and volunteers and by far the most important thing is we have a sense of humour, as can often be seen in the photos.

Why do I do it? This weekend I had a child approach me to ask if they could show me a photo, a collage of what they have won or earned since last year’s JNOC. This same child stood on this same grass a year ago crying and they were going to quit, not withdraw from the competition but quit the sport. I, as I often do, saw them and started a conversation, with them, with their parent. We kind of sorted it, they went back to the line, and a couple of times came back to find me over the weekend for another little chat. A year later they wanted to show me their achievements and thanked me for helping them stay in the sport.

It is a privilege to be allowed to help someone pause, breathe and reset. I have children and adults who often come to find me at competitions to let me know how they are doing, 6 months, a year, 5 years later, 1 who messages me occasionally from overseas to update me as they no longer live in the UK. Often these are people who I don’t know until I see them crying on a range. In part it’s who I am, I know how it feels when life is biting you, if I can help I will. In part it’s the safeguarding officer in me. Mental well-being is as important as everything else that we are taking care of.

Which is why it’s hard to see children, or adults, crying because a parent or coach is shouting, in some cases swearing at an archer. As they come back from the line, being berated for their scores! There are less of these than those who support, but there are far too many and whilst we are looking at ways to change it, it’s huge, a culture created over time. It’s not acceptable and certainly I have seen and supported some with very real, very serious examples of bullying.

There’s also too many examples of children bullying others, encouraged by parents and coaches because throwing them off their game might bring down their scores and let you win. Sure it might, but it does make you a bully and it’s not something to encourage by responsible grown ups!

As ever my body hates what I drag out of it when I do these events and I now have to recover. It’s worth it to me, another event that was a success put on by team work. Now it’s time to sit and reflect on what happened, what I might do going forward and also how I might help create change for others too.

Thank you to everyone who reached out to celebrate my first year of Integr8Archery and those who have read the membership magazine will see the numbers quoted vary a little from what I was able to finalise for my end of year data, simply because they needed information to get the magazine ready and I still had another 6 weeks work to put in! You will have noticed that I am on more than one page 😱😂 but it’s making me smile how you all think Clair is me too, my shirt and hats are warn by many, I am not the only crazy archer out there getting bows in hands, I do have help 🙃

Thank you to everyone who sent kind words in reply to the Northamptonshire Sports article on my being selected as a Northants Active Champion, it was a little overwhelming and incredibly humbling – thank you 😊

Events delivered last week, more planned over this week and the summer and meetings, meetings, meetings! The latest children’s coaching collaborative meeting discussing play their way, was another great session and it’s always great to be in the multi sports environment as I do think that whilst things need to change in archery there’s lots who need the same change and supporting each other can only make us stronger.

I am trying to pull as much together as I can before my Dunster week, I don’t know what time or internet access I will have whilst there for 10 days so let’s get what we can sorted before I am away. It’s amazing how many people have asked me to shave days off my trip, no! I have worked hard this last year to stay in my sport with a bow in my hand and to relearn the joy and how to smile. So I won’t be giving it up! I don’t care about scores or bling, I am going to experience something I was previously discouraged from doing and doing it with my friend.

I will let you know how it goes as I am sure I will be encouraging you all to give it a go to.

Take care and enjoy your week 🥰 hugs and kisses to you all

1st anniversary 🥳 PTSD awareness day – perfect timing ❤️🏹

Helen Sharpe Anniversaries, Blog with a message, Health, Numbers and stats, weekly update 27 June 202327 June 2023

Well hello there, pull up a chair!

For those of you who have been here from the beginning you may have noticed the date! 52 weeks in a year right? So that would make today the day! 365 days – yes? So that would make tomorrow the day 😜 but as you know I do my end of week blogs on Tuesday and a midweek blog on Saturday. So please forgive me – I’m using the 52 weeks for my celebrating 🥳

A small group of people woke up 52 weeks ago to a message that I had been up all night with paper scattered all over the floor making lists of pros and cons and planning and the decision had been firmly made that I was sticking with my sport, as an archer, with my projects, getting it out there to new people but also continuing to work with those already in the sport who faced changes of various kinds to stay with the sport. After months of various people telling me I could, I had heard the message the evening before and decided he and all the others offering to support me might be right, I had been doing this for years before I collaborated and I could do it going forward without those collaborations too.

So I needed to set up a business, quickly and move forward with the world understanding who I am and what I wanted to do, but first I needed a name – we had sorted it between us within 3 hours, a logo was next – I had that by tea time! A plan, I had created that in the middle of the night. A website started the following day, a Facebook page, instagram ………. an announcement to the world! What a first week! Community Interest Company – non profit – status granted, terms firmly set. An archery club – a committee and away we went!

6 months allowed me to reveal amazing stats, available because in January 2021 I started to keep stats on my hours as a response to criticism about why a person would volunteer and not do all of these things for profit. Stats on the projects were easy as I had been keeping those for years.

Those figures were seen by my dad, my weekly voice of reality in those 6 months as I started Integr8Archery a week after his diagnosis and the news he only had a few months left. Those conversations were a break for us both from the conversations about his illness, his treatment and the information we had about what his wishes were and what a future without him might be. I was proud he saw those figures, he was proud of what I had achieved in those 6 months. A week later – as I was writing my 27 weeks blog, I was sat chatting to him knowing there was very little time left, but he had wanted to know everything and so we shared the writing of that blog just hours before he lost his fight. I want him here to see what I have to share today, he isn’t, but I know what he would say, because he shared his thoughts and I hear him daily 🤗

So, my 2 a week blogs have kept you up to date with events and plans.

52 weeks in Numbers –

52 weeks = 1085 hours of my time given, for free to Integr8Archery! For every 1 hour there has been a bow in the new hands of 1.9 people! So many sustainable groups along with one off sessions or short term groups. Community groups that strive to include everyone – to hit my aims for equality, inclusion, diversity and accessibility.

“ changing lives through archery”

But what else, we know I don’t just give my time to Integr8Archery.

I have given 206.5 hours of my time to Archery GB to volunteer as part of the competition workforce. I shoot and I love competitions and whilst I am only ever interested in what I am doing, comparing myself only with myself, I know competitions only happen because of volunteers – give it a go! It’s by far the best blue shirt there is, to wear amongst a great volunteer family.

I have also given 34 hours to other things, such as marshalling, I use other sports to help me stay grounded, mix with others. It certainly helps with my headspace to keep my circle wider than my sport, one that I love, but one where I was taken to my knees.

So, that’s 1325.5 hours of my time given as a volunteer across sports. 25.4 hours a week! That’s on top of my very demanding day job, my family and friends and my own shooting. I don’t sleep, we know that, what else would I do with my time 😂🫣🤷‍♀️ I mean we get 168 hours in a week, how do you spend yours 🙃

Thank you to my family, friends, club committee and every coach or ear/shoulder of support from 28/6/22 to date.

It blows my mind that just 6 weeks prior to that I was sat in A&E because I found myself in a place that meant I could only see one answer, simply not to be here at all! Well if I had succeeded that day over 2000 people are unlikely to have picked up a bow!

Seriously though, I have been asked why I share what’s happening with my mental health? Why? Because it might just help even 1 person and if it does that’s what matters.

In the autumn I was formally diagnosed with PTSD, see why it’s relevant that today – my year is also PTSD awareness day!

My mental health has been an issue since 1996 and the trauma that changed everything, over the years it’s created a number of issues and I do share about them. I have had a number of ways to deal with that and learn methods to handle the issues that I face and live with. However from November 2021 to June 2022 someone set about destroying those methods leaving me in a darker place, with my grounding and management techniques removed – coping was unlikely.

My counsellor is amazing, without a doubt a focus has helped and here I sit, with these amazing numbers to show as a result of that focus.

I have tried new things, we’re still learning how to replace what I had taken. I do know that if you look at how relaxed I am on the range, shooting, smiling on arrival and departure – wow, look at the change from the fear and the tears of 2022. Thank you for the support and hugs and patience that I was shown and to the clubs who now give me safe space where I know my mind can calm.

There have been happenings in the last couple of weeks that have made me stumble and I can say that I am about to embark on another new step, having signed up to a programme with The Frank Bruno Foundation. I will let you know how it goes.

I sit here with a list of planned events, new ideas bouncing around even just Monday 26/6/23 seeing communications starting around some possible VI work and new sustainable sessions. Exciting things to come in the second year of Integr8Archery CIC. I am proud of what I have achieved so far and excited about what is to come. You are welcome to continue to join me – the 2 blogs a week will continue for those who are interested. Saturday will give you a little more information about how those numbers I have quoted here breakdown.

Today? Eat cake and raise a cuppa with me 🥳

See you all soon, it is a privilege to be allowed to be a part of what our sport can give to those who pick up a bow ❤️🏹 thank you 🥰

How do you set your goals, do you review them? Who do you let influence you?

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message, Health, Quick catch up 17 June 202317 June 2023

In life we set ourselves goals, aims, outcomes – whatever you choose to name them. Sport is another place we often set ourselves targets.

From deciding I was going to pick up a bow and booked my beginners course I had a goal, this has continued in the 5 years that I have been shooting. I usually have several at any time and they will all lead towards a main goal. That one big thing that everything else feeds into. I review my goals regularly around a number of things, kit, health, time and of course I shoot two different styles of archery so there are times I juggle those against each other.

How do you choose what is a reasonable goal, realistic, stretching.

Who do you allow to influence you? Coach, shooting friends, squad members, shooting buddies?

What if you want to focus on something different to those people, do you stand your ground?

I recall a conversation with a coach where I was told my goal wasn’t enough, that they could push me to achieve a different goal because they believed in their ability as a coach rather than actually taking the time to understand what my goal meant. No real surprise then when I achieved something that I had worked from the beginning towards, taking 3 and a half years to achieve and that person didn’t even acknowledge what I had achieved as exactly that, an achievement! Bemusing really.

So I guess my question/request is, what do you want, is what you are working towards what you want or what someone else wants from you? I ask because it’s important, and the impact can have a massive impact on your mental and/or emotional wellbeing. So it’s definitely worth thinking about it and just checking on what you want.

Have a great weekend and see you soon ❤️🏹

Week 47 – Children’s Coaching Collaborative, Play Their Way

Helen Sharpe Announcement, Blog with a message, Joining forces for strength, News, weekly update 23 May 202323 May 2023

As you will be aware from the information that I published I signed up to the Children’s Coaching Collaborative last autumn. This year the Child-First Coaching Coffee Catch Ups began. These sessions are for anyone who’s signed up to join together at the sessions as and when they can, to discuss important topics but over a virtual coffee session, the sessions are kept to an hour per session to allow people to fit them into busy schedules.

I find these particularly interesting as it is one of the initiatives that I am involved in that sees people from many sports come together and discuss common issues and share ideas.

The has been a very strong theme throughout – voice, choice and journey. Very much linked with the theme behind any good coach around listening to and coaching the individual.

As a coach this is of huge importance but also in my safeguarding role this is a massive issue. A large amount of my time is taken when voice and choice are removed. Surely something that we should all have taken from the publication of the Whyte report and the subsequent reform 25. Do not sit complacently believing that issues are only in other sports, there are examples of issues across all sports. It is with these in mind that I was interested in the Children’s Coaching Collaborative.

Today the next step is launched – Play Their Way. Please see above my statement that Integr8Archery CIC has signed up to the movement and I would ask you to take the time to consider signing up yourself as a coach but also your organisation and lead those you work with to look at joining too.

This week’s meetings and reviews, which I frequently complete on my projects and with the coaches and groups we deliver to, are about safeguarding and delivering the right service, in the right way to help achieve the goals. This is what the Children’s Coaching Collaborative and other groups that I am part of are aiming to achieve across all levels of all sports.

Am I talking or Am I communicating? Can you see the difference? I would suggest you cannot!

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message 13 May 202313 May 2023

This has been something I have been thinking about for some time, it’s due to comments that I here often, have done for years!

Oh ask Helen, she’s not doing anything she’s only talking.
I have introduced the coaches but as you can see Helen is only here to talk!
Are you here to work or to talk?

Some of the very many comments I hear.

So let’s consider, you see me talking but I know that a lot of what I am doing is communicating.

The second of those comments was made at a club who was helping me host a taster event for over 80 out of school educated children, whilst the coaches were showing how to shoot, I was talking to parents, carers and children. Finding out what the individuals wanted, what were their concerns and how I could help answer those. Discussing specific needs around disabilities.

The first of those comments I have heard in a number of places but often when I am volunteering for Archery GB. At the Grand Prix, 2 specific examples – I was talking to someone who had dropped in to see me, but that took 5 minutes, the rest of the time was about why I volunteer and what it involves and how they might take part, how they register. Then how they could bring juniors from their club to watch the finals, how did spectators attend events.

The second example was me talking to an athlete who I have supported through some safeguarding and wellbeing issues and was feeling stressed by the occasion and some triggers. A very important conversation that I am not going to explain to onlookers for obvious reasons.

I can give examples of individuals when I am volunteering where I see archers upset for various reasons and I reach out, I have helped them in the moment and at future events they speak with me about how things have improved or they may be wobbling again and they remember that I am a safe person to reach out to.

Speaking with people at events allows me to help them get what they want from sessions, or to allow me to support those already shooting in whatever capacity they need might be a quick hug for reassurance or it might be a safeguarding issue.

At a recent event, sat chatting with a group whilst coaches were introducing people to archery we talked about some ideas they had for groups and activities they wanted going forward but also the conversation flowed around and we spoke of domestic violence, bereavement and mental health to name a few topics. How sport can empower and help change lives. I have seen this in sessions that I have put on for a group from refuge and a group of foster children through to the education project and disabled people who have asked for help to access sport.

Just Monday I was speaking to a lady who felt she might find help with her mental health and grief following the loss of her dad in December, just 2 weeks before I lost dad – we stood in the middle of the field crying and hugging.

All of the things I do see me chat a little but communicate a lot. Without a doubt the conversations I have are I think, rare on a range and definitely part of who I am, I have been told more than once that I “attract these conversations”. I don’t see that as a bad thing, it is without a doubt in part due to my personal and professional experience and my willingness to be me, to put myself out there and be vulnerable because that’s what some of those conversations do.

Some of these topics are heavy and emotionally draining some make me buzz and the excitement makes me bounce with ideas – something those around me find draining and some try to quiet me.

All that I ask is, if you see me talking, stop and think, ask yourself am I talking or am I communicating?

I can tell you that when they have been draining to hear “she’s only talking” is demoralising. If I have achieved something and someone was taking the time to thank me – to hear it is demotivating and has on more than one occasion made me considering walking off the range and wondering why I bother, because some of these conversations make me vulnerable so to be dismissed because you saw me talking hurts, some days – a lot.

So ask yourself next time do you need to say it? It might seem harmless to you, but it stings! Please do not dismiss what is happening when “Helen is just talking”!

Week 44 – what do you know about VI sports?

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message, Health, Joining forces for strength, News, Re-published blogs, weekly update 2 May 20232 May 2023

What do you know about sport for the visually impaired? This is something that annoys me and those who know me well have listening to me complain and make a fuss for years! There is simply not enough information or signposting for somethings, for those who might use them, who might consider trying them or for those who might choose to give their time as a volunteer. Two such things that I have enjoyed giving hours to are the transplant games and visually impaired sport. Today I am going to give some information about British Blind Sport as it’s a subject that has come up half a dozen times in the last month or so.

One of the things that I do as a volunteer is spotting for visually impaired archers. I have worked on a semi regular basis with two. It came about as a result of covid, then lockdown rules allowed disabled athletes to practise and someone I knew needed help to find a range that would allow her to shoot (many refused to allow their disability members to access their ranges, a conversation for another day) and also a means of getting there and that role of spotter. Having agented numerous times for disability athletes I said I would give it a go, however I was more than a little anxious as this is more than just collecting arrows for someone and my ability to describe what was happening was going to be key to how useful I was! Turns out all those years doing surveillance in the day job gave me a useful skill on the archery range!

https://www.aim4sport.com/2021/03/26/why-support-matters-the-thoughts-of-a-visually-impaired-archer-by-deb-wright/

I gained a friend too and have been able to proudly watch Deb maintain her success on the archery field in the time since.

http://www.ncasarchery.org.uk/http:/www.ncasarchery.org.uk/achievements-deb-wright/

In recent months I have put a couple of coaches in touch with British Blind Sports in regards to archers who needed support. Whilst physical disabilities and adaptations around these are focused on and access is improving significantly, help for visually impaired is still not obvious.

British Blind Sport offer amazing support to people to access a multitude of sports

and they have an activity finder to help you locate something to go along to.

My friend Clive has used their services and now shoots for GB in a sport that he loves as much as I do

I lost my sight after an unprovoked attack – now I’m a blind archer

The sport that I love, where I found my people, that allows me to be me, is the most adaptive sport that I know. I have yet to come across anyone who cannot shoot, it’s one of the very reasons that I love it so very much and why I am so very passionate about it and what it has to offer.

There are a couple of significant events this year that need volunteers and you may be looking for somewhere to give your time so I would urge you to consider looking here:

What have I been doing this week? Mostly lots of planning and attending a couple of multi sports meetings. Lots happening over the coming weeks as the summer moves towards us!

Not so many arrows shot myself, as I would like still but getting there and this coming weekend will see me shoot my first outdoors competition of the season at one of my favourite places and will have the chance to see lots of friends. My only aim, considering the lack of shooting that I have had, is to enjoy the day, see how it all goes and enjoy the company – and not to cry for dozens of arrows like I did last year!

Catch you all soon, have a great week and enjoy this run of bank holiday weekends ❤️🏹

Week 42 – mental health, safe headspace and arrow counting

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message, Health, Joining forces for strength, weekly update 18 April 202318 April 2023

It is incredibly rare that I ask for anything for myself, particularly in regards to my health – this, above, I tried to do at the weekend!

It’s something that my counsellor and my friends have been trying to get me to work on for a long time. The last few months I have been trying, it’s new to me and a work in progress. Whilst volunteering at the Grand Prix it was something that was discussed with me at length and I worked hard on it, the Wednesday and Thursday actually making decisions to put me first, guess what? The world continued to turn and my family of blue and green shirts not only accepted and welcomed my decisions but encouraged them! I may have taken all of us by surprise! 😱😂

Fast forward to 15th April, I posted my blog, and I asked for 36ish hours for me, I needed to deal with lots of things and they were affecting my mental health, I wanted to get everything in order. Projects, communications, lots of things. Despite my request still people contacted me with questions, queries, none of these could wait that 36 hours, I pointed out to each of those people that I wanted to be left until Sunday evening. Did it stop them! No! So I made some decisions and now people are disappointed 🤷‍♀️ you pushed me, you didn’t let me have that short time I was brave enough to ask for. Apparently for some I didn’t answer questions they didn’t ask 🤷‍♀️ why in this sport is it so often expected that we can mind read?

What I am especially curious of is, if I asked for the weekend because I had a migraine, a stomach bug, an injury, would I have been granted that 36 hours? Is it just mental health that doesn’t get respected? Have a think, you don’t have to answer me, but please do be honest with yourself!

What it did do was confirm work that I have been doing and several events and projects I am working on are most definitely needed as I had already believed.

So now we have people disappointed because I cancelled things, and angry people who have now had things cancelled who were not actually the people pushing me and being disrespectful of my request! So the people who pushed are ok, and I will deal with yet more annoyed folks 🤔

Integr8Archery CIC is mine, a one man band, no one else makes the decisions and no one else chooses what I do, and no one else steps in when I am overwhelmed. I am working on my projects, work that was always mine, my goals, my aims and new ideas. Not for anyone else, for me. There are also a number of other things I have that I may restart, they are mine too. Don’t make the mistake that because people have collaborated in the past dictates what I am doing now, because that would also be disrespectful.

However, what did go well, that I knew would give me the boost when I was thinking of quitting, was my visit to DISC to deliver soft archery, they are such a welcoming and enthusiastic group and a pleasure to spend time with.

Followed by my trip just over the road to shoot with Towcester Archers, some projects discussed and ideas bounced and arrows flung. Last year it was incredibly important to me to create safe spaces for my mind, where, when I am overwhelmed, anxious and scared, I can go to with my bow.

So thank you and much love to Archers of Raunds, Long Buckby archery club, Towcester Archers, Banbury Cross, Kestrels and Bowmen of Glen. By far the most important thing is the gift they give me of space where I am mentally safe to pick up my bow.

When I started shooting in 2018 I spent hours on the range, practise and competing. From 2018 to 2021 I shot between 800 – 1000 arrows a week. Last year this dropped dramatically – we know why. So I started planning my 2023 outdoor season and how to get that motivation back, perfectly timed as Archery GB advertised for the #greatarrowcount project. I received notification of my involvement in the project which was to start on 1st April. Those first 10 days were impacted by my being at the European Grand Prix but my first week total sees me having shot 570 arrows, not where I want to be but getting back on track for sure.

A bit of a moan, and a request to remember to say thank you!

Helen Sharpe Announcement, Blog with a message 15 April 202315 April 2023

I believe that sport can change lives. I believe in my sport especially so, archery is so very inclusive. 6 years ago I decided I could make a difference and I strive for that, putting bows into the hands of people who don’t think they can access archery, for a variety of reasons.

I work hard to meet this goal, to bring archery to those who want it, for an hour, a year, a life time.

I am also very clear that everything I do is voluntary. I don’t get paid for any of what I do, never have, and Integr8Archery CIC is set up to prevent this, non profit – remember?

So I have a day job, to pay the bills, it’s a demanding one at that.

I give between 18-30 hours a week to Integr8Archery and I do this by giving up my own time.

I have worked with the public since I was old enough to work weekends as a teenager. I know that some say thank you, some complain, some are reasonable and some less so. I have volunteered since I was 16 and I know what giving my time can help others achieve – thank goodness or maybe I would have walked away!

This week I have come incredibly close to cancelling something for the first time due to the attitude of the person who I am helping host an event. Still might really.

It doesn’t matter if you are paying or not, if you set out the terms of what you want, you can of course make changes, this involves communicating. Just constantly demanding and changing and putting more and more on me! Nope not ok! In this case the event has costs, costs that a third party are picking up, don’t think that means I won’t pull out. I have no problem with telling the third party that I will not be billing them because I am cancelling the event!

So ask yourself this? When you ask someone for a service, do you flit around in your head! Do you change your mind? Maybe you didn’t set out what you wanted clearly and are now trying to get what you want without admitting that you missed something. Or are you becoming aware that maybe you could have asked for more but didn’t and now want more because you realise it can be achieved!

Whatever it is, ask! Speak kindly and remember I am giving you my time, freely, and I am not just sat waiting for your email or call, I have other responsibilities and they don’t allow me to drop everything. Be kind, say thank you, it’s not a lot to ask really is it?

So whilst I am complaining – a message to those of you who are still contacting me about things you were interested in being a part of, remember who discussed them with you? Was it me? Did I convince you that you can change your path? Were you told I was part of those plans as they were my projects? That’s very likely, I agree. Some have spoken with me and I have worked with them to do the things they wanted after having those conversations. However, if you have sent me emails, messages, voicemails accusing me of letting you down because the person who told you those projects were being planned isn’t replying or hasn’t delivered? I can’t help you because I will not be made to feel guilty or terrible because someone else let you down.

This is not the first time I have made this point publicly and it would seem it’s a point I am repeating publicly for the third time! I do not believe that you were let down by Integr8Archery so my advice would be to go to the person or business who did let you down.

ON A HAPPIER NOTE, THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO SUPPORTS ME ❤️🏹 I NEVER TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED 😎

Week 41 – time is flying! Remember each of us can make a difference.

Helen Sharpe Blog with a message, weekly update 11 April 202311 April 2023

I genuinely have no idea where time is racing to!

41 weeks of Integr8Archery! Wow!

Lots of catching up done in the last day or so after I got home from Lilleshall volunteering as a small part of the amazing team who put on events with Archery GB, my third international event, but I learn from every event I help at, regardless of it’s level. Hard work? Absolutely! Long days? For sure! Worth it? Always!!

Always great catching up with friends and they are my friends as they allow me to sit in my pjs when they gather to chill after dinner 🙃 and they look after me when my body is struggling, no easy thing.

Instructor course, start archery, 4 community events, the disability session at the end of April to name a few …. hard work but so very worth it! New things popping up after sitting in my room alone for 9 evenings with my notepad – never able to turn off my mind! 😉

In order to allow Integr8Archery CIC to be non profit and to put on as much as we can at little to no cost for the community I have to remain in paid employment since I have yet to get that big winning lottery ticket 😂 and this week will see me start my new job after being out of work for 6 weeks following my fixed term contract expiring. This will see me take on a role that I think will be both challenging and rewarding and I am excited. I think the shifts will make my time adaptable for Integr8Archery too as some people want me on weekends and some on weekdays, so now I will have potential to be flexible around those wants. Most importantly from the Integr8Archery perspective it means I don’t require an income from what I do here.

I saw a quote that I really liked this week:

“Don’t leave a place the way you found it.

Leave it the way you would like to have found it.'”

Ben Ferencz.

A lot of what I aim to achieve is covered by this I think. If we each do a little bit, together we can achieve so much to make things better. Equality, Diversity, Inclusion and Safeguarding – all can make a better world.